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EP #107 Reconciling Sex And Money With Joan Sotkin

Money – how much we earn, how much we spend – is often a subject that’s kept under wraps in so-called polite society. But using your money shouldn’t be something you should be ashamed of, the same way you shouldn’t be ashamed of expressing ideas about sex and sexuality. Joan Sotkin, the expert author of Build Your Money Muscles and host of The Prosperity Show, reconciles the ideas of money and sex. Together with Dan Mendilow and Sophie Kessner, Joan breaks down how similar these two subjects are in society as it is today. Let Joan help you find freedom in your money, and understand how emotions learned in childhood may be affecting your financial outcomes.

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Reconciling Sex And Money With Joan Sotkin

We have another amazing interview for you. Joan and I got connected to us felt may be accidental, but not many accidents in the universe. From the moment we started talking, we realized that we have much in common and have an incredible time talking about everything from spirituality to brain science to coaching, to everything. Joan’s been around in this industry for far longer maybe than I’ve been alive. She’s an incredible resource with this beautiful energy. I know that you’re going to get a ton from her and are going to love this conversation because she helps entrepreneurs and practitioners experience freedom from struggle personally, professionally and financially. She is an expert when it comes to understanding how emotions learned in early childhood can affect a person’s business and financial outcomes. Thousands have benefited from her groundbreaking book, Build Your Money Muscles, her podcast, The Prosperity Show and her unique holistic style of coaching. Joan, welcome to the show.

Thanks. It’s great to be here. I’m glad we connected. It’s been fabulous.

It’s the same here. Every conversation is much fun. I’m excited about this conversation because of your direction, you’ve been helping people a ton with money and mindset and it’s interesting. Money’s a very sensitive subject for everybody. That’s the one thing that can revolutionize or destroy or build a person’s world. There’s also one other subject that is everywhere. You can’t even live a day without having this thing come across your field and it is as powerful in people’s lives as money. It’s a beautiful thing to talk about in terms of understanding why people do what they do, the decisions that they make and also why they get the results that they get in their lives. That topic is sex. How did you get in there and what’s your angle on sex?

Let me give you some background. For a long time, I have recognized the similarities between those two topics, aside from the fact that they’re the two things that we think about most and never talk about. There must be something special about these things that we don’t talk about it, yet we think about all the time. I realized that both money and sex are energies that we use to interact with the external world. Many years ago, I gave a talk at a corporation called Using Your inner Resources to Maximize Sales. I learned when I talk, for some reason, I got to say it out loud before I see something and I realized that dating is like sales.

Sales are like dating. Do you come here often? It’s a little background, then you qualify them a little bit. Have you done it? The orgasm is when you say, “Sign here please.” They do. Now, that I understand the brain science, I realized that they’re both dopamine things where you’re going after something that you expect to be pleasurable. When they sign on the line, you get a dopamine hit. It’s the dopamine that motivates us in many areas of our life. It also can cause problems. Dopamine is such a complicated neurotransmitter. That’s at the base of the connection between money and sex. I’ve also come to see that the same emotions that we act out through money are acted out through sex.

The five main feelings that people act out through their money are aloneness, shame, anger, deprivation and a sense of being trapped. I go into this in my book, Build Your Money Muscles. What I’ve added to that is something that we need to recognize, particularly with both sex and money, which is longing, which is part of the aloneness. If you didn’t get your needs met when you were a kid, then longing became one of your habits, “I want mommy to touch me. I want daddy to recognize me.” It’s a habit. The main theory of my work is based on, “There’s nothing wrong with you that needs fixing.” You’ve never done anything wrong. That you have habits thinking, believing and feeling habits that developed early in childhood and they are what determine how you make your decisions. Once you understand that, then you can say, “Which element in this equation do I want to change?”

[bctt tweet=”Both money and sex are energies that we use to interact with the external world.” username=”iamsophiekessner”]

First of all, our money relationships are screwed up. People have terrible relationships with money. It doesn’t matter how much money you have, people who don’t make a lot of money think that people who have a lot of money have this great relationship with money. It’s not true. I don’t know how it is in all the other countries, but in America, we have a terrible relationship with sex and sexuality. Our Puritan background, which is where we come from is terrible. All the things we’re not supposed to do and we want to do. It causes this internal struggle that has to be acted out in some way. It’s not just boys, it’s girls too. Although I’m seeing how different it is for boys and girls. When I’m talking to people about this, I’m learning how to ask questions like, “How much money do you earn? How often do you play with yourself?” They’re the same thing. When you’re playing with your money, you’re playing with yourself in some way. Can you see that?

Yeah. That makes perfect sense.

I don’t think it’s true that people who are good at keeping track of their money are also liberated sexually. This is going to take me a while to work out the whole thing. I know it’s there. What I see is a lot of people are sexually inhibited. Even though we talk, we have women with boobs hanging out all over the place and guys with six-packs. The funniest thing for me is pharmaceutical ads. Everybody in pharmaceutical ads is thin, good looking, well-dressed, happy and in a relationship. They have either a dog or a child. No one who’s obese uses these drugs evidently, it must be a risk factor to be thin, good-looking and in a relationship. We have to look at that feeling of trapped. Do you get a lot of people saying, “I feel stuck?” What is that? What do you see that that is?

Sure. I interpret that and that, by the way, is a big term. It could mean a lot of different things. A common theme between them to me is the feeling of no good options. They might not know what to do to make things better or they have a lot of options that might make things better, but for one reason or another, they discount them. They reject them or they can’t take action. It leaves them with no good options.

For me, people who are trapped have no idea who they are. They’re trapped in the platform that has been laid out for them. I was born in 1940. That’s a long time ago. Girls weren’t supposed to be something other than a nurse or a teacher. The advice I got was to get married and have children. I tried the marriage thing a couple of times and that was not my idea of a good time because I was expected to behave in a certain way. I’m not crazy about cooking or cleaning. I would have been happy being the husband. From early on, when I was in my twenties, I did go to college as a chemistry major and discovered I wasn’t the one they were looking for. I switched to something else.

In your early twenties, you have no idea what defining yourself means, although they have life coaches who are in their twenties. It’s changing. I had no choice but to do what was laid out for me, even though my families were all little nuts. Were a little out there and different. I couldn’t have said to you, “I feel stuck.” I had no feeling vocabulary at that point. I kept searching and I realized, here I am at 79 years old. I’m getting the idea of who I am. I also see how all those wounds, not only financially, but sexually kept me stuck because I had all this programming in my head.

MMM 107 | Sex And Money
Build Your Money Muscles: Nine Simple Exercises for Improving Your Relationship with Money

It wasn’t a religious program because that can do the same thing. It was my mother saying, “Never sleep with a guy before you get married because if you do, he’s going to have all those things to hold over your head.” The first guy I slept with, I got married. On the honeymoon, I knew it was in the wrong place. I got married in my junior year of college. That’s what things people used to do. Now, it’s wonderful. People are waiting longer and they know what questions to ask and they have much more awareness coming from the generation. I’m as old as your grandmother probably.

You not much older than my parents. I’m the youngest in my family.

I’m two generations up and for me, it’s been a lot of exploring. In my second marriage, it was what you could call sexually-abusive. He got us into swinging and wife swapping and for a nice Jewish girl from Paterson, New Jersey, it’s like, “What is this?” This was in the 1970s. Now, it’s no big deal, but then it was weird and there were several places in California where we were living where we would walk around naked. I learned how to do that. I had a problem putting together the so-called sexual freedom and my background. I felt wounded because he was playing around with everybody else. I had to watch and that wasn’t fun for me. I was too codependent to say, “I don’t want to do this.” That was a whole other element.

I was brought up that the husband is in charge. Even though I didn’t believe that and I had been working in Hollywood, it left scars. I didn’t realize how repressed I had become because before that I wasn’t and suddenly I am. Something amazing happened to me. I traced back the date it was at the beginning of August. I have to move over a little bit. My goal has always been never to let money determine how I feel and not to worry. I reached a point where I reached that point. It was this moment of stillness. My theory is there’s a globe turning in a clockwise direction. When it turns in the opposite direction, there’s a moment of stillness before it changes direction. It’s a tiny moment of stillness but it’s there.

I felt I had reached that moment. Here we are months later and I still can’t worry. When I wake up in the middle of the night where I used to wake up and I had to process emotions, I’m having these incredible visions of the future. There’s no more worry. I see how if you don’t worry and you don’t push, it does fall into place. My life is accelerating in another direction. I noticed as that happened, I started feeling much more sexually aroused. I thought that was amazing. People worry a lot about money, which is about our energy. When you worry about money, that’s going to shut down the energy flow through your system.

Sexual expression is about energy flow. I’m amazed, when you’re clearing an emotion like shame, you can spend days having shame come up and, “It’s never going to end.” This rush of new energy that’s coming up, I’m having a good time because I’m trying a little bit of everything. At this age, it’s odd to be waking up again in that dimension. What do you do with it? There are no instructions. Our sex education and therapists, the ones I’ve been to never say to me, “How’s your sex life?” All the business coaches, they don’t say, “How’s your sex life?” They don’t even ask how well you are managing your cashflow. Those are the two things. Cashflow and sexual energy are related.

[bctt tweet=”When you’re playing with your money, you’re playing with yourself in some way.” username=”iamsophiekessner”]

It makes a ton of sense to me as well because looking from a neuropsychological standpoint. When there are a lot of money stresses, it puts a lot of pressure on places like you’re amygdala. What I usually teach is to keep things simple. There are two parts of your brain and nervous system, your survival areas and performance areas. They act like a seesaw. The more one is activated, the less the other one is. The more your amygdala is activated, which is one of the biggest, it’s the leader of the survival parts of your brain. It’s super important.

The more it’s active, the less energy you have going into things like bonding that comes from your limbic region. That gets screwed up when your amygdala starts firing crazy or self-awareness and the ability to view yourself and positively as well, coming from your prefrontal cortex, that gets shut down the more your amygdala gets activated. On a scientific level, it makes a lot of sense that more pressure you have is coming from money. It’s one of the greatest pressures we feel in society. The biggest source of pressure, if that comes in and causes chaos in your life, creating fear or hurt or worry or whatever, then it makes sense. It shuts down the parts of your brain that control bonding or fun or love or connection. 

The pleasure of any kind. That’s the dopamine. In my world, whatever you’re worried about with money has nothing to do with money. When you look at your bank balance and you’re saying to yourself, “Look at my bank balance. Why can’t I earn it anymore? Joe Schmoe earns more than I do.” It’s not about money. It’s about your self-image. It’s about your shame. That’s why it’s important to understand the emotions that you’re acting out through your money. If you feel shame about your financial position, that has nothing to do with money. It has to do with how you think of yourself, your energy flow. What I try to do is teach people to recognize what they’re feeling about their money. I have to have the conversation with, “How’s your sex life and how do you feel about that?” I’m amazed at how many people who are in relationships are not getting enough and they feel that they don’t have enough money either. I have clients who are making hundreds of thousands of dollars. They still feel it’s not enough. They’re probably not stubbing enough either, to put it bluntly.

Let’s make this even more practical for people because there might be a lot of questions now thinking like, “How can I look at my money behaviors and how is it about me specifically? How is it about shame? How can I look at my relationship with money and see that it is about me?” When someone is looking at it like, “No, it’s not about me. I don’t have enough money. My job doesn’t pay me enough or I have too many bills. How does this have anything to do with me?”

When I’m working with people, first of all, I have a question as I can get an idea of how they feel about their money. From the precession questionnaire, I put out and some of the answers don’t look like they’re talking about money, but I know they’re talking about money. I ask them, “Do you sometimes feel ashamed when you think about your money?” The system that I use is recognized, release, replace and repeat. It’s based on brain science. What are you feeling? Most people do not have a good feeling of vocabulary, which is why they’re in trouble. I ask them to tell me whether they feel contracted or expanded. Can they recognize where in their body they feel contracted?

It’s usually in the chest or the abdomen or in the shoulders. I tell them to take a deep breath and imagine that they’re expanding. As part of that process, we say, “What are you feeling? When have you felt it before?” To me, that is the important part so that when I ask that question, they’ll often go back to something in high school and I’ll say earlier than that. If it’s something like shame, I’ll say, “Was your mother ashamed of who she is?” When your mother was pregnant with you, you’re learning your mother’s feelings and her behaviors when you’re in her belly. Many women were shamed. It’s part of the male dominance, women in different religions, look at in Judaism and Muslims, women are in the kitchen taking care of the guys. That’s why I never liked being married.

MMM 107 | Sex And Money
Sex And Money: Dopamine is a complicated neurotransmitter that’s at the base of the connection between money and sex.

I don’t want to be taking care of the guys. In return, they earn money and then you got to do this ridiculous stuff. When you say, “When have I felt it before?” It’s amazing how this works. I have a friend whose mother died when he was seven. He was very successful. He was a construction supervisor with big projects. I’m intuitive, so I can feel where people are. I know the problems he’s having are related to the fact that he never fully dealt with his mother’s death, having him recognize when he felt abandoned and alone. He had no way of dealing with the grief. In those days, they didn’t do that.

To re-experience what you felt as a child, that is the release because emotions get stuck in your body. Those neurotransmitters are creating the situation in your body and emotions by their nature have to be expressed. When you get someone to feel it in their body and then express it in whatever way they can. What I usually do is have people make the sound of the feeling. I’ll tune into where they are and I’ll make the feeling with them. That is part of the release process. I ask the question. This can happen over time. I say, “What would you rather be feeling?” They’ll say to me, “I don’t know.” I’ll suggest, “Do you want to feel satisfied?” “Yeah.” “Do you know how to feel satisfied?” It’s amazing how many people say, “I’ve never felt satisfied.”

We’re talking about money problems and we’re talking about sexual problems because if you don’t know how to feel satisfied when you’re working with these basic elements of our society, you’re not going to feel satisfied. I have to teach people how to feel satisfied. I worked totally on this level. When I work with business people, we also talk about managing your money and that sort of thing because it’s all intertwined. The more you let yourself out of your self-imposed jail, which is what feeling stuck is all about, the better you are at knowing who you are, feeling who you are. I’m playing with this sexual stuff, when you can feel that energy inside of you, that’s dopamine, which is the motivator. It makes a difference for our outcomes.

It does. I want to highlight a few things here that are important and for the audience to get because you dropped some profound things here and the way that you say it sounds natural and easy though. People can gloss by it. I want to focus on it. One thing here is that your process begins with feeling your feelings, identifying your feelings and feeling them. Both money and sex are used often to cover things up in our society, “I’m feeling a little insecure. I’ll make a hell of a lot of money. I’ll feel great. I’m feeling ugly. I’ll go have some sex and I’ll feel sexy again. Shit’s going wrong in my life. I’ll go get the money. I’ll go have sex.” It’s our drugs and through them, we cover.

That’s because of the dopamine. It’s never enough. There’s a book I read The Molecule of More. That’s the signature of dopamine. “You’ll like it, honey?” Get some more. Was that a good banana? Go get another banana.” It’s our survival and to me, I can’t believe that many business coaches don’t deal with the emotions because it’s the emotions that affect every decision that you make.

You have to feel them to know who you are and to know why you are making the decisions. If you’re in a place you don’t like, it’s because you’ve made decisions that have brought you there. Until you get a grip on how did you make those decisions and how you make different decisions? This means you have to know the emotions that led you to them, then that’s how you do get stuck and trapped. I love that you start with what’s beneath these feelings? By the way, for anybody who wants a definition of shame, it is the feeling that who you are is fundamentally wrong. That is a shame. For example, women growing up in the ‘40s may have this thing when women aren’t supposed to have money. What are you doing with the money? That’s not your place. They might develop a money story around that shame.

[bctt tweet=”In your early twenties, you have no idea what defining yourself means.” username=”iamsophiekessner”]

Women are less valuable than men.

You’re not supposed to be making the same as a man. All these other stories can come from that but around sex as well, which is what is your role?

It’s okay for men to screw around, but women shouldn’t be doing that.

Who needs to be the aggressor? Who’s allowed to want sex more? That also when you’re allowing yourself to feel those feelings around both sex and money and trace them back like you’re guiding your clients to. When you heal around the beginning and it’s similar by the way to some of the work that I do with my clients. You are bringing them back to the original moment where they created the story for themselves and then allowing themselves to create a different story that evaporates the shame. All of a sudden, we have growth and we have a deeper connection with who you are.

I talk about, “What was your mother feeling? What was your father feeling?” Those are the things you learn to feel. It became part of you. For me, people need to see that these are their feelings. It’s not who they are. That these are habits that they developed and learned from early childhood. To take the shame away from having feelings. In our culture, particularly for men and a lot of my clients are men, they have no idea how to be something other than angry and hurt. There’s a whole lot of range between anger and hurt. What I see happening is that once they can even do one little release, making the sound of the feeling, there is a sense of liberation. I like to have a theme on my podcast and the first year, it was the courage to be you and me, stuff like that. This 2020 is the courage to be free. What I see happening to me as I allow myself to acknowledge the sexual part of me, even at this age that I feel liberated. I can’t tell you, I have nothing to worry about.

I know that whatever I need will be there. What I want and what I need may not be the same thing. I have to trust that my higher self knows what I need to learn. I’ve come to truly believe that whatever we’re going through is what we need to become who we’re becoming. I’ve learned to accept whatever is happening as okay. Few people know how to feel satisfied with who they are and what they have. It’s over earner, people who have to have $1 million more to be happy. When they get the $1 million more, they want that next banana. It’s dopamine. We have these primitive brains that were designed for survival. We don’t need the same skills anymore. When you eat properly, sleep well, meditate regularly, do your exercise and do these things, you get more control over your vehicle. If you take care of this vehicle that you were riding around in, you’re going to have a much better life.

MMM 107 | Sex And Money
Sex And Money: The five main feelings that people act out through their money are aloneness, shame, anger, deprivation, and a sense of being trapped.

You are bringing up the idea of learning how to appreciate what you already have to break that dopamine addiction cycle. There’s a strong misconception out there that people think that gratitude is something that happens to them. They’re waiting for something that makes them feel grateful or to celebrate. It’s interesting where a lot of my clients, I’ll tell them like, “When’s the last time you celebrated something that you did?” They go, “No, I’m waiting. I’m waiting for the right time.” People do the same thing. I’m waiting for the right thing to happen so that I can feel happy. I’m waiting for the right thing to make me satisfied. Instead of looking at these things as skills, as muscles to build, to learn how to appreciate the money that they have and to learn how to appreciate the sex that they get or the attention or the love or whatever.

It’s to learn who they are. I used to have a hot body. I’m 79 years old and even though I’m in good shape, I don’t look naked the same as I did before. Now, I’m doing this daily basis where I look in the mirror when I’m naked and I see how wonderful this is that this 79-year-old woman who used to be sick and uncomfortable. I know it’s not my 29-inch waist that’s keeping me at a relationship. You have to make the decision to appreciate yourself and not to compare yourself to anyone else and not take anything personally. These are all habits that you can train yourself.

If you make the habit, if you say, “I’m going to get to like myself and I’m not going to take anything personally.” In this day and age, everybody wants it to happen now. It’s not going to happen now. It may not happen for a few years. You have to do it every single day until it changes. I don’t have any negative self-talk in my head anymore. It’s an amazing thing. I did all this shitting on myself for years and I was in suicidal depressive. Do you think that’s a happy camper? You know that’s not because you were there too. I’d hear myself doing shits with myself and I would say to myself, “Thank you for sharing, but we don’t talk that way anymore.”

Every time I heard myself saying something negative to myself, I would say, “Thank you for sharing, but we don’t talk that way anymore.” I had my favorite saying, “Joan is a good girl and can have whatever she wants.” Since I like applause, I would clap my hands and say, “Joan is a good girl and can have whatever she wants.” You have to recognize what’s going on, which is a neural pathway in your brain and you have to replace that neural pathway with another one. You go through what I call the moving stupids. The moving stupids are when you move from one house to another, you want to be in the new house, but you get stupid. You don’t know where anything is. You bump into walls, you lose your wallet, you lose your keys and everything seems to be falling apart. That’s because your brain doesn’t know whether to go to the old neural pathways or the new neural pathways.

You get disoriented, that’s the moving stupids and you have to stop and say, “I have the moving stupids.” When you try to give up things in consciousness, not talking to yourself as if you were worthless, you’re going to get the moving stupids. It’s all brain science. If the amygdala is going, “This is dangerous because we have no idea what the outcome is going to be. Why don’t we go back to picking on ourselves again? No, we’re not going to do that. Thank you for sharing.” People want their lives to change but they don’t want to change. My thing is to help people understand how to change and how not to be afraid of the change. To me that’s the value of coaches that they can hold your hand while you’re going through the process.

Coaches also do something important. You touched on this briefly is they give permission to have what you want and to want what you want. It is interesting. It touches on that shame that we were talking about people thinking that their money desires or sexual desires are wrong. Honestly, in my point of view, as long as you cause no suffering, it’s fine. Polyamory is fine. It used to be a big sin. People are exploring it and it’s not accepted yet, but the acceptance for it is increasing. The same thing with money. It’s okay to want it. It’s okay to want a lot of it. It’s okay not to want it. Some people have that shame around that too.

[bctt tweet=”When you’re clearing an emotion like shame, you can spend days having shame come up.” username=”iamsophiekessner”]

It’s a good idea to find out why you want a lot of it. If you think a lot of money is going to fix your life, you’re wrong. You want to get to where you’re rich internally, where you feel rich. People used to say, “Act as if.” They’d go out and spend a lot of money because that’s what they would do if they had a lot of money. That’s not acting as if. Acting as if it is how you would feel when I had no money at all? At one point in my life, I had given away everything I owned that I went wandering for a couple of years. I was in California for part of the journey. I would go to Rodeo Drive, which is where all the fancy-schmancy stores are. I had one outfit of clothing and this old clunker. I’d go shopping at these hoity-toity stores and behave as if I belonged there.

There are a lot of crazy people who happen to be wealthy. The salespeople would treat me like I belonged there. I would get to try on all these lovely clothes and I behaved as if I belonged there. That’s acting as if. When you act as if the person you’re becoming because then you have to feel the feelings and think like a wealthy person. You may find out as I did that the money’s not going to fix anything. It’s a bunch of numbers on a ledger. It’s not how you measure your superiority. It’s the wealthier you become internally, the less you care what other people think of you.

By the way, for anybody reading as well, when we’re talking about wealth, it’s becoming even more a question of true abundance. Not just wealth money, but wealth in terms of looking inward and seeing a wealth of love, patience, balance and peace. True abundance incorporates everything. Not just money, but it also includes sex. When you look in there, you have that like, “Damn, I’m sexy,” kind of thing. Even if you’re alone and haven’t gotten laid in a while, it doesn’t matter. It’s that whole thing of being able, you look in the mirror and you say, “I don’t care. I’m hot.” That’s what it is. It changes things for you.

You can make decisions. I noticed years ago that old people, I’m considered elderly, but when people meet me, they have no idea how old I am. I don’t look it. I don’t behave it. I realize that old people have stiff bodies and they walk stiffly. Every morning I do stretches and moving my body around. You have to keep it going. You have to lubricate the joints. This is all about decisions. Who do you want to be? I have not eaten sugar since August 11th, 1973 because the doctor said to me, “If you stop eating sugar, you won’t be depressed anymore.” I have not eaten sugar since. I don’t have a lot of inflammation. I don’t measure my wealth by my bank account. I measure it by how much peace of mind I have. I don’t know many people who can say they don’t have negative self-talk, that they don’t worry about anything, that they don’t let their money determine how they feel. You can’t buy that for me, but I can show you how to do it.

How do people find you, Joan? How can they get in touch with you so that they can learn this stuff from you? 

First of all, I’m the only Joan Sotkin in the entire world, so you can trip over me at any place you want. Google is my friend, just say Joan Sotkin, but is where I hang out. My podcast is The Prosperity Show.

MMM 107 | Sex And Money
Sex And Money: It’s not about money; it’s about self-image, shame. That’s why it’s important to understand the emotions that you’re acting out through your money.

Joan, it’s so much fun. The time is just gone. It’s ridiculous. We’re going to have to find something or do more of these.

I would love that. I had this image last night when I was having these visions of the future. There are some people I connect to and I talk to every couple of weeks. We’re starting to do things together. On the bottom line of the emotions is feeling connected. That is what we crave is feeling connected. I can do a whole bunch of stuff on feeling connected and touched and how that allows you to make more money. At t the base of everything is how you’re feeling.

Joan, I’ve felt connected to you the moment we started chatting and I know people reading are feeling the same. If you even got a momentary urge to reach out to Joan, do yourself a favor and do it. Chat with her, see what’s going on and pick her brain. As you can tell, she’s an open book and this incredible light. Reach out to Joan, see what she’s got to offer and get wealthy and have tons of sex.

One or the other depends on somebody. You don’t have to do everything all at once. You’ll run out of dopamine.

Joan, thank you for spending this time with me. I had a blast.

I appreciate being able to share with your audience. I love this.

Thank you for spending this time with us. If you enjoyed this episode or the podcast in general, do me a big favor. Go to iTunes, leave a review or five stars or if you’re reading this on your phone, take a screenshot, put it in your stories and tag me so that I know that you’re getting something out of this, tag Joan too. Go check out her podcast, leave her reviews, stars and all that good stuff. We will see you at the next episode. Take care.

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About Joan Sotkin

MMM 107 | Sex And Money

Joan Sotkin helps entrepreneurs and practitioners experience freedom from struggle personally, professionally, and financially. She is THE expert when it comes to understanding how emotions learned in early childhood can affect a person’s business and financial outcomes.

Thousands have benefited from her groundbreaking book Build Your Money Muscles, her podcast, The Prosperity Show, and her unique, holistic style of coaching.

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I'm Sophie Kessner

First generation Mexican American mama that’s gone from hood to strategic hustle. I’ve spent the last 10+ years inside the personal development space supporting 100’s of coaches in scaling 6 figure businesses online & supported 4 different companies in surpassing the 7 figure mark. Today, I focus on making scaling more sustainable by integrating the lenses of business, systems, automation and CEO Development through an Equity centered and Trauma informed lens.

Ready To Automate Your Online Business?

Learn more about our signature course, Online Business Automator, to start streamlining your business backend and scaling through SEO Marketing today.

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Things I Love

Tired of paying for a million different subscriptions? I got you covered! Check the link sis.

Ready to get serious about becoming trauma informed in your business? Get started here!

It’s time to stop relying on sticky notes for project management- Join the ClickUP Gang!

More About Soph

Sophie is the founder of The Sacred CEO™ Agency and has been in the service based coaching industry since 2015. She’s created and scaled 4 different multi 6 figure coaching programs including their latest course, The Online Business Automator.

Soph has also founded her SaaS business called ScaleUP where she work with her clients and building custom backend systems and a high quality template shop with Brand and Web Design expert, Mel Judson.

You can find Soph snuggling up with her son on the couch, spending weekends at Trauma retreats or dancing her heart out at the next EDM Festival.



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LIVE 2-hour free Online workshop

Stop relying on social media to grow your online business


February 9th, 2023 FROM 10AM - 12PM PST

Online Business Automator

Join The Waitlist and Receive an Exclusive $500 off The Course When Enrollment Opens!

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We will never spam you or share your email with anyone. In addition to the meditation you’ll also receive semi-regular email updates with tips, tools, encouragement, offers and exclusive resources. All emails include an unsubscribe link, you may opt-out at any time. Read our Privacy Policy to see how your data is handled.

You're Almost There, Just Tell Us Where To Send The Sacred CEO™ Sustainable Scaling Business Strategy <3

We will never spam you or share your email with anyone. In addition to the meditation you’ll also receive semi-regular email updates with tips, tools, encouragement, offers and exclusive resources. All emails include an unsubscribe link, you may opt-out at any time. Read our Privacy Policy to see how your data is handled.