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EP #109 Losing Weight For The Right Reasons With Amber Romaniuk

Fixing something when it is still surface level is always the right thing to do especially when it comes to your personal health. In this episode, Sophie Kessner interviews Amber Romaniuk, an emotional eating, digestive, and hormone expert. Working through your emotions first, fixing the root cause, and mind-eating are what Amber shows us towards a healthier version of you. Attaining perfection is not realistic but she teaches us how to lose weight for the right reasons. Join Sophie and Amber as they dive deeper into moving your emotions, balancing your hormones, and being in harmony with your body.

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Losing Weight For The Right Reasons With Amber Romaniuk

I am excited to be jamming on this episode with you. Dan is not here but I do have a special guest who I am elated to be introducing to each and every one of you. Her name is Amber Romaniuk. A lot of her media coverage, you’ve lost and gained over 1,000 pounds in weight and working through a lot of binge eating, a lot of the food disorders. All the hormonal pieces that come with that, especially when it comes to gut health and digestive issues. What you’ve been able to create for yourself especially when it comes to mind-eating and self-care and body empowerment has been phenomenal. I’m grateful to have you in this episode.

Thank you for having me. It’s a pleasure to be here.

I want to go ahead and dive in and give anyone on this episode who doesn’t yet know you or know of your background, a little bit of a short synopsis about who you are and where you came from.

I live outside of Calgary, Alberta, Canada. I had an unhealthy relationship with food for a long time. What inspired me to create my business and become an expert within emotional eating, digestion, hormones, self-care, that whole self-love, weight, body love journey was my own experience with food and my own self-hate toward my body. A couple of milestones that impacted the way that I grew up in the relationship that I had with food. First of all, when I was five and I got on the bus the first day, the older boys called me fat and ugly and I took on that identity.

I feel like when you’re that young and vulnerable, it’s easy to hear what a stranger says and go, “They don’t know me. It must be true.” Especially when you don’t know what self-confidence is. I don’t know if a lot of five-year-olds know what it is but I definitely didn’t at that point. I took it on and I had this identity of I must be fat, I must be ugly. From there on, I loved food because it never called you names, it never disappointed. It always tasted good and there was always a form of comfort there. Growing up as well, my mom also had an emotional relationship with food. She was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis before I was born. Part of her way to try to cope with that and to also compensate for things she couldn’t do with me was food. Therefore here I am associating food with everything else.

I started dieting at the age of ten. Fast forward to my early twenties, I had a breakup happen and figured, “If I have the perfect body, everything will be perfect.” I started to restrict and lose weight quickly and over-exercise. I hit that “goal weight” and I became even more critical of myself and my period disappeared. All these negative things happened even though I assumed this would be the thing that would fix everything and it didn’t. I went into this mentality of, “This is way too difficult to attain. Screw it all. I want to eat what I want to eat.” The switch flipped and I started deep into binge eating, purposefully being I want to eat six cupcakes. I want to go and get a pizza. I want to eat five chocolate bars.

It was uncontrollable. I quickly gained about 50 pounds in a few months and completely isolated and felt insecure. It was that period of a few years where I gained and lost over 1,000 pounds because I’d go up. I’d have a period of time where I was in complete loss of control with food. My low point was one night after finishing a binge, being in complete pain on the couch crying and thinking, “I don’t want to die.” I don’t want to kill myself with food slowly. I’m always bloated. I don’t feel well. I’m overweight. I hate my body. It was when later on that night, I had gone digging through the garbage to eat more of the food that I realized something had to change. I had no idea how to get there and what that would look like.

I started to embark on this journey of starting to try to understand why I am bingeing? Why do I have trouble handling stress or feeling my emotions? Why am I addicted to sugar, cheese, and bread? Once I start eating these things, there’s this high and I can’t stop. How do these foods impact my digestion? I was my own guinea pig and I started learning, reading, researching, and trying all these different things. With a lot of ups and downs and multiple failures, I ended up overcoming my food addiction and understood how emotional it was. It came from this lack of self-love, this void that I had that I didn’t know how to feel in any other way.

Coming to know that and understand that it’s an emotional journey, it made me realize how many other men and women, but women are struggling with body image. Assuming, once I’m a certain weight then everything will be perfect. How that obsession with weight, diets, quick fixes, and fat-eating cells can consume days, months and years of your life. You look back and go, “That ate up 5, 10, 50 years of my life.” Unless we have either a huge wake-up call or we’re tired of suffering, it can be difficult to stop. That’s what inspired me to go, “I’ve been through this.” I have the brain of an emotional eater, a food addict, whatever you want to call it.

MMM 109 | Losing Weight
Losing Weight: Little girls as young as five are now dieting because of social media influence.

I can deeply understand and resonate with what my clients are going through. That’s what inspired me to start my business a few years ago and specialize in emotional eating, digestive and hormone issues. I went to the Canadian School of Natural Nutrition and had that holistic nutrition background. To me, what’s valuable is the brain that I have and that understanding. That’s what has inspired me to come to where I am now. As I continue to do my deeper work, it becomes more and more relevant to how powerful the mindset is and the ego or the self-sabotaging mindset. When we can learn how to understand those parts of us, freedom is possible for anybody.

I resonate with many different pieces. Maybe not so much to the extreme, but definitely have my experiences. For those of you that have been following my journey, you’ll remember in 2018 when I got serious about wanting to do bikini comp training and get on stage. I went through a few months of intense training with both diet and exercise. It was interesting looking back. Prior to that, I had always struggled with body image stuff. I had arrived at a place where I had felt that I had a good relationship with my body and with food. I wanted to be better because I thought like a lot of us do. That’s going to be the tipping point. Throughout that process, along with many other factors, it was developing much anxiety and adrenal fatigue from the lack of nutrition, overexertion and exercise.

I ended up developing a lot of binge eating habits and patterns which I had no idea was a thing prior to that. I didn’t even realize what it was until months later when I was in the recovery of it not dropped off. The word that you’re speaking to you and what it is you do is powerful for not the extremes of it but also for the everyday pieces of it, especially for women and I know for men as well. The whole concept and the undertone of all of this, it comes down to the way that we’re trained in society to love, to see, how we take care, and value ourselves. Coming back to that starting point of being a young kid. I remember being a few years old and looking at other people and judging them based on whether they were fat or skinny. That was the way that people were separated back then and then it got more and more nitpicky the older you got.

It’s true. There’s a stat, 90% of the female population in North America has struggled with some form of body image or an eating disorder. That’s a profound stat. Little girls as young as five are now dieting because of social media influence and having social media accounts and it’s staggering. Whether it is extreme, you’re snacking throughout the day and you don’t even realize you’re doing it but that’s adding up and impacting your digestion and your confidence. It’s something that does end up at some point consuming a lot of your mental and emotional focus. That starts to impact your confidence and self-worth and how you’re showing up in every area of your life, including your business, career, as a mom, a friend, or a wife, whatever that is. The impacts can be draining and detrimental. As you’ve also experienced physically exhausting as well.

This is the piece that we oftentimes forget about because we disassociate our body and our nutrition to every other aspect of our life. This is a huge piece of what I work with my clients on is the work that you do with people. What they’re experiencing is not just in the field of what you’re doing with them is impacting their relationships, finances, career, family, friends, and everything. I’ll speak to my experience specifically and I know you have your own as well but it was the fact that I had panic attacks on a daily basis. I was binge-eating and that I had massive fatigue. I could hardly get through days and that massively impacted my ability to be able to show up to my clients and deliver and being able to have relationships of any sort. This huge by-product of the undertone of me not understanding the behavior patterns, where they were coming from, and trying to fix this thing when it was the surface-level issue when underneath it was something much deeper.

It’s always like the tip of the iceberg where you can see the top but there’s much more beneath. That’s what a huge miss in society is, the diet industry is a multi-trillion-dollar industry. They’re not educating or creating programs in a way that is going to help you get below and see all of what is underneath that you have no idea how those things are fueling the vicious cycle of dieting, restriction, stress eating, or emotional eating. That’s why it’s important to start to take a step back. Some people may feel such a diet obsession or a diet addiction where it’s like, “I need to do keto. I need to cut out sugar. I need to eat perfectly and everything will resolve itself.” What’s behind the needing to hop on a diet?

What’s behind needing to restrict your food or not allowing certain foods or having food fears, which has become a prominent thing now with such restrictive eating cells being popular? It’s important to understand what the driving force behind needing to go to the restriction and the diet is because that impacts you. It’s not realistic to attain perfection. There you are, falling off the wagon for whatever the reasons are and then you’re bingeing or you’re overeating. You’re eating all the things that you’re not supposed to or allowed to have. There’s this panic of like, “I’ve gained weight. I failed. I need to try something else and try to be perfect with it.” It’s that vicious cycle that can continue going on and on for people. What ends up happening?

Your digestion gets stressed out, you create inflammation. You’re bloated, your pants aren’t fitting properly, and then the hormone starts to get stressed out. You end up with the cortisol issues, thyroid imbalances. Women’s progesterone and estrogen go all wonky. They’re missing their cycles or they’re not able to get pregnant. What starts as what seems innocent, it can create this perfect storm of imbalances, physically and emotionally, spiritually even. It’s profound the impact it has on your health. When I talk to different women and they go, “I’m trying all these things, but nothing is working.” They’re not addressing the root. They’re hopping on a bunch of supplements or they’re reading a book or they’re intentions are good. It’s important to get to the root because a lot of these other things that we may be trying to do may not work at all if we don’t address the root which is the stress from the overbooked schedules, the perfectionist mindset, the emotional eating, things like that.

It’s a big one. What was coming up while you were sharing about this is there’s almost this all or nothing mentality that many of us are operating from when it comes to diet, nutrition, fitness as a whole. We’re either all in and killing ourselves or we’re completely on the other end of the spectrum. My issue with it was running into the program or that pattern of completely neglecting any nutritional standards and completely going the direction of “intuitive eating.” My perspective of it was it wasn’t eating for health, I was eating based on what I felt like which was coming more from an emotional place of eating versus from a place of feeling my body. We go from one extreme to the other and then we call the other extreme self-love because overtraining and overdoing this is not self-love especially with what you’re speaking to. There’s this beautiful harmonization and there’s a middle ground where you don’t have to be on the extreme of the end because the extreme either way isn’t healthy.

[bctt tweet=”It is not realistic to attain perfection.” username=”iamsophiekessner”]

What’s fascinating is I remember when I was in this cycle and a lot of my clients talk about this as well is they’ll fall off the way and binge or emotionally eat. They think that going clean with food and going to the gym is the fix, it is that self-love when it’s punishment. I’m going to the gym to restrict my food now and only eat salads because I need to compensate. It’s important for us to start to become aware of how that can impact and how that is punishment and sabotage. Any reason to eat a certain way or exercise because you need to compensate, it is not self-love. I’m glad that you brought that up. What this comes down to for most people that all or nothing, that’s the perfectionist mindset and to more deeply go into those layers below that it is there’s this huge fear. It’s fear of being judged, a fear of not being good enough, or not feeling worthy or good enough especially if you’re being judged by others and/or people putting all of their need to be validated into other people.

My happiness is tied into but you think of me or what my best friend thinks of me instead of me knowing deep down that I am enough, I am worthy, and I don’t need validation from others. What are we doing? We are overachieving, we’re trying to please people, we’re trying to prove, we are in that perfectionist mindset, we’re overbooking our schedule, saying yes to everyone else and sadly no to ourselves. All of that exhausts and overwhelms us and then food becomes such an easy outlet to go to because it’s fast, easy, convenient and delicious. It excites the same parts of the brain as a hard drug, some different foods. You produce that serotonin and dopamine and you get what feels a higher pleasure response when you eat those foods. We go to that because it’s easy and what seems there’s a lot of resistance toward, “I don’t want to feel my emotions. I don’t want to deal with my stuff. I don’t want to make more time for myself because that’s going to make me feel guilty.” I’m trying to like, “I’ve got to make sure everyone else is happy and I don’t want any confrontation or conflict so I’m going to stay on this route because I’m too scared to upset other people by setting boundaries and taking care of myself.

There’s a huge breakdown there because it almost dissects you or disconnects you more from yourself. How could you possibly have optimal physical, emotional, spiritual, mental, even financial health if you are literally spreading yourself thin that you have nothing left to give to yourself? It starts with that emotional self-worth piece. If we don’t have that, there are all sorts of patterns and actions that we are taking from that place of fear, insecurity, desperation, whatever that is. We’re continuing to repeat those patterns and strengthen them. That’s why they can feel difficult to change especially since that perfectionist mindset comes in because it’s going, “If you have to change it, you’ve got to do it fast and you’ve got to go big.” Some of it’s scary rather than being reasonable and going, “I’m going to baby step and I’m going to go one little step at a time.” When that all or nothing comes in and go bigger, go home which keeps people stuck.

For a lot of people that read this blog, there are a lot of you out there who are high achievers. We run similar programs because they’re not our programs. They’re collective programs of fear and a block. These typically tend to be programs of impatience. It’s a big one. We want it all now. We wanted it yesterday. When we’re operating from that program, that’s where we oftentimes feel a lot of that fear coming in. If it’s not happening now, then we’re under the illusion that it’s never going to happen. There are a few different dynamics that we can dive a little bit deeper into, especially for a lot of those that are high achievers and those that tend to run programs of perfectionism. What’s interesting is it can become confusing a lot of times when these programs have served us in a certain way or perceived to have served us for a certain way when they’ve created a certain level of “success” depending on what your definition is. My issue was the diet “works” because it got the result but was I happy? A few things we can dive into here is number one, how are we defining something working in what success is when it comes to our health, to our body, and to nutrition in our lives in general? Number two, how are we creating the associations with these programs and whether or not they are serving us with where we’re on and where we want to be in life? 

The answer to both those questions is we’re so conditioned, as you mentioned, we want it now. We wanted it yesterday. We want the quick fix. I want to lose weight quickly. I’m going on a trip in a month and I need to drop 20, 30 pounds fast. What can promise me to do that? One of the biggest problems is people are obsessed or consumed with that quick fix mentality. We aren’t in tune, we’re not taught how to listen to our bodies, to have the awareness to go, “I have this symptom. My body is talking to me. She’s trying to tell me something.” We don’t learn that in school. We don’t learn that anywhere unless you yourself are inheriting that information from someone else who knows it or you’re working with somebody.

One of the breakdowns is when we’re going, “I associate that diet. That diet works, I lost the weight.” How come then in a few months, you’re putting it back on? You did that diet. You’ve got some short-term results but now you’re having all sorts of cravings, your cycle is gone, your exhausted, or your digestion is not feeling good at all. To you, what ends up happening is often those symptoms are not as important as losing the weight to look perfect so my life will be perfect. People put all the other stuff over into the corner for as long as they can until it gets unbearable or until something serious happens because it’s such a narrow focus. I’ve got to lose weight. I’ve got to look a certain way. I want to look perfect.

I want to be a perfect weight especially if you’ve achieved what seems the perfect weight before and then you lost it. There’s this dwelling of like, “I wish I was the way I was 5 years ago, 1 year ago or 10 years ago. I’m going to hang on until those clothes in my closet because I have to try harder. I have to do better. I know if I do better this time, I will get there again.” We’re hanging onto the past and we’re dragging it along with us. You’re exhausted. You’re not sleeping well. You have the cravings, the digestive issues, the hormone imbalances, you may have no idea but you’re irritable, you don’t feel like yourself, but you still are convinced or your ego has you convinced that you have to try harder on a diet.

When I see all these influencers and people promoting certain diets, they’re not going, “By the way, we’re not thoroughly assessing your health. PS, disclaimer, this may give you digestive issues a bit or fuel binge eating or whatever.” They’re not doing that because they want to sell their products but in the background, unfortunately, people are suffering deeply on all levels. They’re still convinced, “I have to be perfect on a diet. I have to lose weight. I have to have the perfect exercise routine.” There’s such a miss with society, what we’re taught pertaining to nutrition and exercise and you have to eat less and exercise more to have a calorie deficit.

That’s untrue for the majority of the population especially the people that I connect with because there are many blocks that get in the way when someone is trying to lose weight. Everyone is trying to lose weight for all the wrong reasons. It’s all vanity and external rather than I’m going to put the weight loss to the side and I’m going to focus on building a healthy relationship with myself, with food. I’m going to stop dieting. I’m going to understand how I can balance my digestion and investigate my hormones. I’m going to focus on this because as I focus on all of these pieces, that weight or that protection, I refer to weight as protection. It falls off when the body feels calm enough, safe enough, supported enough. We don’t have to force the weight loss when we focus on getting healthy and becoming in tune with our bodies.

MMM 109 | Losing Weight
Losing Weight: People are obsessed or consumed with that quick-fix mentality.

One of the concepts that are coming up is there’s an overvaluing of the vanity of weight loss versus the other metrics of health. We put much emphasis on the weight loss and on the body fat percentage that we completely negate any other component or measurement of health. That’s the only way that we measure it regardless if our hormones are out of balance, our gut health is completely out of whack. We have inflammation doing the foods that we used to never have a problem with. That’s the first thing. The other thing that came up is in my experience, there are different levels of consciousness that people arrive at or move through where they are receptive to understanding what this means and what this looks like. Oftentimes, there are a lot of people who will hear it, but they’re not quite in a space where they’re ready to receive it. 

Where it comes down to is if some people have to be in a space where the suffering has to become bigger than the fear to change in order to change. For some people, it’s like, “I’m done with dealing with this fear, it is creating much suffering for me.” You do have to be ready to take on a different level of information for sure and no one can make you ready but yourself. At the same token, if you’ve been stuck in the same cycles for such a long time whether it has been months, weeks or years and you’re continuing to get the same results and it’s driving you crazy because you keep doing the same things and getting the same results. It is the definition of madness.

Think of all the money you’re spending and all of the physical, the emotional costs as well and how it’s impacting every area of your life. You have to take a step back and go, “What am I afraid of by taking a different path? This has felt like a comfort zone for me, but there’s also a lot of suffering here.” Wouldn’t it be great to have balance and to learn how to undo these old mentalities and not have to diet, have healthy indulgence as well, and be able to lose weight without starving yourself, killing yourself in the gym, or going on some extreme diet? What if you could have the best of all the worlds, learn how to do it in a healthy way, and build a healthy relationship with yourself, build confidence and see how that positively impacts every area of your life?

A lot of people don’t feel they’re worthy or good enough. They’ve been conditioned to think there’s this one way to do this, this is the only way and this is all I know because it’s all I’ve tried. That’s why it’s important for society to become more open. It’s to be open to trying different things and to find their courage within themselves to take a different path. It’s to go slowly. I don’t believe in force. I don’t believe in rushing people. I don’t judge people of where they are on their journey. It’s being willing to create this safe, comfortable space and be a voice for people to let you know I hear you, you don’t have to be embarrassed or ashamed. You totally are worthy of having these results, of achieving these, and of maintaining them for life.

We have to take a different approach and work on a deeper level. Instead of what’s on your plate and what’s in the gym, let’s talk about your emotions, let’s talk about your mindset, and let’s look at your schedule. If there’s no white space in your schedule and you’re that overbooked, I can guarantee you that is fueling all these other pieces. Depending on the person, it’s taking a bit of an approach that appealed to that person. If you are the overachiever, I’m not saying you have to stop making goals and stop striving for your dreams. I’m saying you can do that, let’s also make sure that you’re taking care of yourself so that you have the long-term sustainability to continue on with those other pieces.

I’m glad you brought this up because what comes up for a lot of overachievers or at least people that are running the overachiever program is they almost associate slowing down with failure or being wrong. There are many negative connotations that they have towards this. It’s the same thing when we get into self-love and taking care of yourself. If I’m not working myself to the bone and if I’m not going super hard 24/7, have I earned this? Is it going to work if you’re taking the time off?

If your self-worth is still tied up in something outside of you, whatever your work is, however much money is in your bank account, what car you drive, the clothes you wear. I’m all for nice things and abundance, but what I have outside of me and the work I’ve achieved in my business does not define who I am as a person. I still have adrenal fatigue if I was in that overachieving mentality and I’d be exhausted. I’d be manifesting quite a bit of lack into my life because I’m a big believer in the Law of Attraction and what you put out, you get back. If you don’t have the capacity to take care of yourself, how could you possibly show up in your business or your career and do what you need to do there if you are exhausted, unwell, and feeling insecure?

It’s important to go, “What if building my self-worth and confidence helped me to realize I don’t have to be in an overachieving mindset and I can work less and create more success?” I believe your health determines the health of your abundance, your business, your career, your success. What if you can have both health and success? You don’t have to sacrifice one for the other, but it’s this getting into this mentality of work less and make more, attract more. You’re grounded, you’re in a high vibration, and you’re feeling more positive because you physically and emotionally feel better about yourself.

That’s when I find things start to flow and you’re effortlessly attracting and you don’t have to work harder and work smarter. These are different levels of stepping out of your comfort zone, stepping into a different path and focus. In the beginning, there may be lots of resistance, “I don’t want to do it, it doesn’t resonate for me, I’m scared.” That’s all normal. I believe we all have this mindset called the ego. We all have this self-sabotaging mindset that wants us to suffer and wants us to suffer to the point where we’re deep in fear, anxiety, panic, worry, guilt, and anger that it sabotages every area of our life. If we can understand that we have this part of us that can be such a valuable teacher, but that it’s feeling the perfectionism, the overachieving, the exhaustion, the emotional eating.

[bctt tweet=”Everyone is trying to lose weight for all the wrong reasons.” username=”iamsophiekessner”]

We can understand like, “If I can learn how to understand what triggers me to give my power away to my ego, and I can then learn to understand how to take my power back, I’ve realized that this isn’t the way life has to be. It’s not what it is. It’s not for me and I’m the victim and this is happening to me because this is what’s meant to be.” No, there’s an opportunity for you to see yourself and this mindset in a whole completely different way. When people wake up to that and are open to that, the transformation that happens is exponential. It is powerful because you now realize it’s okay if I have days where I feel fear or anxiety or I have days where I’m not on the top of that overachieving game and I can love myself as much as those days where I’m on it.

Everything is flowing, I’m getting everything done, and I’m feeling confident. One of the biggest things that I’ve learned on my journey as of late is it’s safe for us to feel and there’s nothing wrong with that rainbow of emotions, whatever it is. We don’t have to get rid of it right away. I better let go tap and meditate it out of me. What if there’s something for me to learn here? What if I need to sit in it? What if I’m feeling the collective energy of the world and I have to sit in it? That strong conditional love is when we can fully sit with what is going on as you build that awareness. You don’t have to force it to change or you’re not allowed to be a certain emotion or feel something. That’s important.

You’re touching on a huge piece. It’s this component of allowing ourselves to be multidimensional human beings and to feel the full spectrum of emotions, especially the less desirable emotions. What happens is we have negative associations with these less desirable emotions. We say, “There’s sadness, anger, fear, or anxiousness coming up.” We want to avoid it and we want to express it, we don’t want to experience it. What you shared is it’s safe to feel and be. What are my triggers trying to teach me? How can I connect to myself deeper? How can I love myself even more when these triggers and less desirable emotions are coming up and I can expand into either greater version of myself?

What happens when you do that is you end up having more peace. You can sit in whatever you’re feeling and you can embrace it without judgment. You realize I don’t have to numb this down with food, shopping, hard drugs, or whatever it is. You can sit with it and see that the world doesn’t end. Nothing bad happens to me when I feel this. This confidence gets built of like, “I can feel this. Everything is okay. I can do it and I didn’t need to punish myself or hurt myself because I’m feeling a certain way.” That’s a huge step towards starting to build self-respect, self-love, and starting to fill that void. It’s giving yourself permission to practice feeling and not having to do anything with it or distract yourself in any way to avoid it.

The reminder for those of you who are reading is having the discernment. I find that discernment is key where you are staying in an emotional state longer than you need to and getting stuck in it versus getting the lesson and then moving through it. That’s a piece where a lot of people are like, “I don’t want to feel it because I don’t want to get stuck in it,” and none of that. That only happens when you get stuck in this victim mentality and we become used by our emotions versus using our emotions.

One of the biggest ways that we can avoid getting stuck in it is by not overbooking our schedule and not consuming ourselves with many other things. How can you possibly work through and use your tools and work through those emotions to release them? You’re not dedicating the time to connect with yourself and go, “I’ve been feeling this for a little while. I know that these tools or this self-care help to ground me and make me feel good and help me to release these emotions.” If we’re not taking that time, it gets easy to get overwhelmed, to get ungrounded, you’re way up out of yourself. That’s where the panic, anxiety, the cortisol spikes, all that stuff happens and from there, it can feel many other symptoms. That’s important. We have to be willing to take the time.

I love that you bring this up because it’s a huge piece of what I share with my clients. It’s almost building an embodiment system. How are you creating a lifestyle that feels the type of embodiment you want to have? The way that I’ll frame it for people is you’re building your life around your business versus building a business about your life.

I couldn’t agree more. Don’t let your business run you, run your business.

It comes back to that whole mentality of it’s about a few things, slowing down and this deep sense of trust towards ourselves, trust with a source. It is trusting that everything is happening perfectly. If I fully believed that and everything was always happening in my highest good then I wouldn’t be coming from these places of fear, lack, doubt, certainty or uncertainty. I’d be able to trust the process, to move through my emotions, to experience whatever is present and to find the learnings of that.

I love that you say that because that’s profound. People start to embrace that mentality and open up to that trust and are open to the failures and the learnings from that. When they do have what feels like a breakdown or they’re feeling down about something, they’re like, “I’m happy that happened because I learned this about myself. I took this action step. I made this empowered change.” They start to see the failure or the breakdown as something valuable. There are much growth and learning. It adds to this new identity that they’re building of themselves. It does get to this point where you can step back and go, “I do trust the universe has my back and there’s something for me to learn here. I’m open to that.” We have to be open.

MMM 109 | Losing Weight
Losing Weight: Your health determines the health of your abundance, business, career, and success.

We cannot be closed, resistant, and in that victim mode to have those breakthroughs. What is powerful is when you can start to recognize that you’re feeling resistant to doing your self-care, blocking your schedule, or saying no. You can go, “I can feel this tightness in my chest and I feel like I want to procrastinate.” That awareness inspires you to go, “I’m feeling resistance. That’s okay. I can walk through that invisible wall of resistance and go and do that anyway.” You feel better because you’re going, “I didn’t hold myself back and I worked through that thing, whatever it was, because I didn’t block myself.” That’s where being in tune and being aware is valuable because if you don’t know, then what can you do about it?

It all comes down to being willing to evolve, grow, release, shed, let go and make space. That can be scary especially when we have gotten familiar with one way.

Even if it’s completely draining us or not good for us, it’s true. There is a good chunk of society that seems to thrive off of drama and negativity. Once you realize how much more energizing and uplifting it is to thrive off of growth, working on your stuff, and taking responsibility for your stuff, you begin to see the world in a whole different way. Regardless of what’s going on in the world, you can trust that like, “I’m doing my part and I’m doing my work.” That has a collective positive impact on the rest of the world rather than thinking it’s in someone else’s hands to control that or make the difference. It’s knowing each of our individual hands to make the difference. That’s why it’s important that if you are struggling with these mindsets, the habits with food, or the weight obsession, there’s a huge opportunity for you to take a step back and look within yourself and see what needs to change. You can have the freedom that you’re seeking versus blaming it on everyone else. I definitely used to do that. It’s that person’s fault that I binged. It’s that person’s fault that I’m knee-deep in ice cream when it was me not knowing how to cope.

What is something that you want to leave our readers with? If there was one thing that you wanted them to hear and know, what would that be?

You’re not alone. It’s okay if you have all the idea or no idea where to start, but for you to experience the love, the confidence, the health, the success, whatever it is that you’re seeking to experience. It’s for you to start to go inside and do some of this work at your pace and take your time. I always say to people, give yourself at least a year or more. This is the most valuable journey you will ever go on because it’s your journey. It’s your life’s work which is the most beautiful work you can ever do. Start small, take baby steps and know you’re not alone. It’s not luck. It’s not certain people on this earth that are lucky that get to have success and the healing. It’s you choosing that you want that too because everybody can have it if they are open to it.

If anyone wants to find or connect with you, what’s the best way for them to find you?

They can find me on my website at You can also listen to my podcast. It’s called The No Sugarcoating Podcast and you can subscribe anywhere. On Instagram, I’m @AmberRomaniuk. If you’re curious and you are struggling with emotional eating, I have a quiz on my website. That’s something that you can do and it gives you a bit more insight to see if that’s something that’s going on for you. That’s where people can find me.

Thank you for taking the time to drop in and jam with us. I know we went emotional eating and then we got into the actual quantum mechanics and physics of it when it comes to this isn’t about that. It’s about something much deeper.

Thank you for opening up to that because the more we are open to all of the levels of healing, it gives you more success, more freedom, more peace, and you get to live a full life when you’re in that space regardless of what gets thrown your way.

[bctt tweet=”There is a good chunk of society that seems to thrive off of drama and negativity.” username=”iamsophiekessner”]

You’re such a beautiful embodiment of that too. 

Thank you. As are you, likewise.

Reminder, I’m still doing the work, it doesn’t end.

You’re doing the work. It never ends, but certain things that felt they were impossible becomes a lot easier.

Thank you. If you have any questions, feel free to reach out. Check out Amber on Instagram. If you enjoyed this episode, go ahead and re-share it. We love seeing you and getting tagged by you guys. Have an amazing day. We will talk to you in the next episode.

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About Amber Romaniuk

MMM 109 | Losing Weight

Amber Romaniuk is an Emotional Eating, Digestive and Hormone Expert who helps professional women achieve optimal health through mindful eating, self-care and overcoming self-sabotage with food. Her podcast “The No Sugarcoating Podcast” has over half a million downloads, over 200 episodes and is listened to in over 82 countries. She has also appeared on local TV 50 times in the last three years alone.

Amber overcame her own emotional eating after gaining and losing more than 1000 lbs and spending over $50,000 on binge foods and spending 5 years balancing her hormones and digestion. Now she helps others achieve Body Freedom™ so they have the confidence and health to create amazing lives.

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I'm Sophie Kessner

First generation Mexican American mama that’s gone from hood to strategic hustle. I’ve spent the last 10+ years inside the personal development space supporting 100’s of coaches in scaling 6 figure businesses online & supported 4 different companies in surpassing the 7 figure mark. Today, I focus on making scaling more sustainable by integrating the lenses of business, systems, automation and CEO Development through an Equity centered and Trauma informed lens.

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