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EP #80: Soph’s Evolutionary Journey & Personal Shifts

MMM 80 | Reflection And Moving On

Life, as people say, is a roller coaster ride. It has ups and downs, and it is definitely up to you if you will scream or enjoy the ride. Sophie dives deep and holds nothing back as she reflects over the last year in her personal and professional life – from her breakup back in June, anxiety attacks, adrenal fatigue, dropping out of bikini comps, building million dollar companies, and so much more. For Sophie, one way to start over, after experiencing all these things, is to allow yourself to reconnect to your purpose, divinity, and higher self. On top of that, trust the whole process of letting go, moving on, and believing that everything that’s happening is in its perfect timing even if it may not be as easy as it seems. Take a glimpse of what you can expect from Sophie moving forward into 2019.

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Soph’s Evolutionary Journey & Personal Shifts

Soph Shares Her Experience From Million-Dollar Companies, Heartbreaks, And Bikini Comps

I wanted to put together this episode for a lot of you who’ve been following me and my personal journey over a few years. I want to fill you in on my own evolutionary journey and process and everything that I’ve experienced, especially over this last year from the breakup with Matt, the move and mentoring inside the BA. Leaving the BA and dropping out of the bikini competition. The anxiety that I was dealing with and all of the stuff of building a personal brand. There’s dating, body image, healing my body and healing my heart. A lot of self-love, self-worth things that have come up over the last year. This whole process of slowing down and especially now into 2019, getting clear on what do I actually want? Especially, easily hitting a six-figure year last year.

He’s Not The One For Me

Aligning and figuring out, “What actually matters now that I don’t have to worry about money?” I am going to be showing a lot of this with you in this episode and really diving in. We’re going to be diving deep. I’m going to keep this as real, raw and vulnerable for you as possible so you can experience a different side of me. For those of you that don’t know me personally and for those of you that do, you can get to see more. The place I want to start is going back to last year when it was summertime and Matt and I was still together. We had been in a relationship for a little over two and a half, almost three years.

The question that I oftentimes get with a lot of the clients that I work with is knowing when something isn’t great for them, even though it’s good. That was very much the case with this relationship. There was nothing inherently wrong with me or with Matt. We’re both amazing people and we’re both really great humans. The shift for us was in the fact that the relationship had reached a point where both of us had healed so much of ourselves from the people that we were when we first started dating. I can truly say the relationship that I had with Matthew is probably one of the most meaningful relationships that I’ve had as far as dating goes.

We grew a lot together in the two and a half, three years that we were together. He was somebody that was truly my best friend and that I still to this day, I love him dearly and appreciate him. We shared experiences that I don’t think I will ever share again with anyone else. It’s something that was really special. It was hard to make the decision to end that relationship. The reason why we decided to end that was that our hearts weren’t in there anymore. It was a tough decision to come by.

I remember the day that it hit me. I was at Scott and Libby’s house in Venice and we were working on some stuff. Somehow Libby and I got into the conversation of dating and relationships and she was asking me about Matt and I broke down in tears. I know that he’s not the one for me as much as I love him. My heart and my soul knows that. It was the first time that I had actually admitted that to myself and let alone to anyone else. It was that moment that everything started to shift. It was so beautiful having both Libby and Scott there holding space for me. I was sitting here crying, breaking down and sharing with them the fact that this is a really good person. I love this person so much.

[bctt tweet=”It is better to end a relationship when your hearts aren’t in there anymore.” via=”no”]

I will never forget what Scott said. He was sharing so much that having had gone through similar experiences. He said to me, “It is good and he is a good person, but you deserve phenomenal.” That’s something that stuck with me ever since. I do deserve something that’s absolutely amazing, magical and phenomenal. Even though the relationship was good, it was a good relationship. It wasn’t magical where we’re both feeling so in love, passionate and excited about us. A lot of that came down to the fact that we had grown apart over the years that we were together. The trajectories of our lives were different.

Anxiety And Panic Attacks

I drove back to Murrieta that next day and I got home. We sat down and we had the conversation about all of that and made the decision to really end the relationship and figure out our living situation and all of that. It was rough. During this time, I was supporting Libs inside of the BA that she was mentoring. We were also running another program called the BI that I was running on my own inside of the Libby Crow Company. I was also training full-time for the bikini competition that I was in. There’s a lot that my nervous system was experiencing at this point.

We put in our 30-day notice for the apartment that we were living at and I found a new place to move into. I was in the middle of a move, running these programs, dealing with all of the emotional stuff. You can guarantee that I was a mess. I was crying uncontrollably probably for nights on end. It wasn’t anything other than how much grieving I felt I had to go through. At the same time, I was also traveling to go to these events that I had committed to previously and I’m going to festivals in between, which probably wasn’t the best decision. It was a lot.

Summer last year was intense for me. It got to the point to where we had wrapped up the BI in August and the BA had wrapped up as well. We were coming into September, were basically leading up to September. All of August, we had been marketing for the next round of the BA. That was going to be launching for the September round. At this point, it was really beautiful that Libby was giving me the opportunity to run the program without her in it. It was the first time that she had ever done that. It was exciting for me. We were doing all the marketing for this. I was taking on sales calls for this and connecting with women.

I was still training full-time for this bikini competition. I was still doing a lot of healing work with everything that I was still processing from the breakup because I was still so fresh at that point. It was interesting because I was very busy with business. One of the patterns that I was noticing in retrospect I wasn’t really aware of it then was how I would compensate what I was feeling by burying myself in the business. By being so busy in the business that I didn’t have space to feel which is interesting looking back where that pattern came from.

MMM 80 | Reflection And Moving On
Reflection And Moving On: I was a mess. I was crying uncontrollably probably for nights on end. It wasn’t anything other than just how much grieving I felt I had to go through.

At this point, as I was prepping for the comp show and we were doing the sales calls for the BA starting in September. My bikini comp show was supposed to be the first week of October. One of the things that I was noticing was how anxious, how tired and exhausted I was feeling from all of the energy that I was exuding. Also, all of the processing that my heart, my soul and my body were dealing from everything that had been going on. There was so much chaos in my life at this point. I started to have really bad anxiety attacks and panic attacks. It was scary. I remember so vividly. I was on a sales call with a woman. We were halfway through this call and got into talking about the program and how it would work. Midway through this call and as I’m mid-sentence, I got this feeling that I’m going to faint. I’m going to pass out. I sat there on the call and I told her, “I’m so sorry. I need a second.”

It was a video call because she was out of the country. She’s in the UK. She’s on Zoom with me and we’re face-to-face and I was sitting there and literally physically shaking and having an anxiety attack on a sales call. I was like, “I’m really tired. I haven’t eaten yet or I’m feeling fatigued. I need a second to catch my breath. I’m sorry.” This woman was so sweet. She was saying, “It’s okay. Take your time, we can reschedule.” I was like, “It’s fine. I’m good. I just need a second to chill out and breathe.” I worked myself through that process and then we got through the rest of that call.” I was like, “Let me know what you’re feeling into.”

As soon as I got off that call, I knew at that point that there was something wrong. I took the rest of the day off to eat, sleep and figure out what was going on with me. That was really the point. These anxiety attacks are getting ruthless. At this time, I was also prepping for the competition. If any of you have ever done competitions, it was very intense. I don’t want to say nutritional deficit, but caloric deficit because of how much weight I had to cut in the short amount of time. I have nothing against competitions in any way whatsoever. There’s a beautiful way to do it, the way that I was doing it wasn’t working for me at the time.

In saying that, one of the next incidents that ended up coming up was I started to feel riddling anxiety every single day. It was getting to the point to where I couldn’t go to sleep because I was afraid if I went to sleep that I would die or that something would happen to me. It’s pretty sad. I remember calling my brother and I would be telling my brother, “Can you come over? I’m feeling really anxious. I feel there’s something wrong with me. I don’t know what’s going on. My heart rate’s up and all of these things.”

He would come and literally sit there until I would calm down and feel okay. I remember one of these days when I was at the gym trying to train and the anxiety started to come up. I started to feel I was going to pass out again. I was trying to drive myself down to the hospital to go and get checked out and see you what was going on with me. On my way to the hospital, the anxiety got so bad. I was so freaked out about passing out of the car and crashing that I ended up calling 911 for an ambulance and pulled over off the freeway to a gas station. The ambulance ending picking me up at the gas station because of how bad the anxiety was. There was nothing medically wrong with me. They diagnosed it as being a massive anxiety attack or panic disorder. They checked everything out and they said, “You’re fine. There’s nothing medically wrong with you.”

[bctt tweet=”If you don’t seriously love whatever it is you’re doing, whatever it is you’re teaching or building is going to be miserable. ” via=”no”]

Stepping Back From The Bikini Competition

At that point, I made the decision to step back from the bikini competition because I was feeling so fatigued, so anxious and so undeniably unhappy at this point. A lot of it was how intensely I was training, how much I had going on and how much I was emotionally processing. All of the pieces were building up on each other. It was a tough decision to come by. I remember talking to Libs about this and she was the person again who held space for me so beautifully. As I was on the phone, I was like, “I don’t know what to do. I feel like I have to follow through on this because I said I was going to do it and I don’t want to let everyone down. At the same time, it doesn’t feel good for me anymore.”

One of the things that she said to me at that point was, “You being in integrity isn’t about you are doing something because you said you were going to do it. You being in integrity is being in alignment with what’s congruent for you now. The person you were when you made that decision nine months ago isn’t who you are now. It’s okay that you evolve so quickly, that you’ve outgrown the goal and you can change that. You don’t have to stick to it if it’s no longer in alignment for you.” That was a huge release because I started to realize, “I can let this go. I don’t have to keep doing this. I don’t have to keep pushing myself and forcing myself to do this.”

I made that decision to step down four weeks out from the actual show date and started this journey of healing the anxiety, healing the adrenal fatigue that had developed and healing a lot of the nutritional deficiency that was occurring from the way that I had been training. Also, acknowledging the binge eating patterns that I had picked up on and some other not so fun body dysmorphia stuff that I’d had developed over this process of being so nit-picky about my body and my physique. That was fun. It has been what I’ve been working through for the last several months of healing everything.

At that point, I was able to start to show up a lot more for the clients inside of the BA. That was a big reason why I decided to drop out was that I knew how much more important it was for me to be able to show up for the business and for the clients. Be able to support them in such a bigger way. For me, the reason why I wanted to do the competition was to prove to myself that I could do it, to have the physique that I thought I needed to look a certain way, to feel confident about myself and feel good in my own skin, which I’m sure a lot of women can relate to.

I had gotten to a point where I was like, “This isn’t worth the anxiety. This isn’t worth the depression. It costs me my ability to show up for my clients and to show up for what they are really here to do in the world and they need me.” This is a huge part of that decision. I dropped out of that, stepped down and started to focus on supporting the clients inside of the BA for the next few months. It was a beautiful process to run that program. Alongside, we have Mel join me in that last round to co-mentor alongside. She and I ran it together and it was incredible. I want to say we supported 34 women in that last round in building their businesses. It was such an epic experience, truly.

MMM 80 | Reflection And Moving On
Reflection And Moving On: It’s incredible to be part of a team and to be part of something that you truly believe in.

One of the things that were coming up was Libs had the spaciousness to step back and for the first time to really think about her and not be in a place of having to do the business. She had a team that was supporting her. It was incredible to be part of that team, to be able to be a part of something that you truly believed in. I love that woman so much. It makes me emotional. There are no words to describe how humbled I feel and how grateful I am for her having chosen to take me on and letting me be a part of her growth and her business. It was the most transformative experience of my life for more than mentoring in a program, but knowing Libs personally and the woman that she is. She’s inspired me in so many ways.

She had the spaciousness to tune into what felt great for her and what felt most in alignment for her. We had the conversation around all of that and what she’d been tuning into and that it no longer felt in alignment for to run the BA as a mentorship program. She wanted to move it into the self-study course and transition out of that and let it go. We had the conversation around me transitioning out of it because it had become a very big part of my life at that point and what that would look. With her love and grace, she supported me in being able to go ahead and go forward to creating my own brand. Creating everything that I wanted to create for my own perspective. Building out my own to going full force with all of this for the first time ever where it wasn’t supporting somebody else’s business or brand. I was standing fully in my own power. That was also scary stuff.

There’s a lot of fear because before I had mentored for Libs, leading up until that point I had worked with another mentor and a really good friend inside of their company. I was supporting them in building their business and their coaching practice until they had made the decision to step down again also from the business and marketing space to do more of spiritual work. Although I always had some clients on the side for myself and one-on-one clients, December was the first time that I said, “I’m doing this for myself. I’m doing this for me.” That week, I had that conversation with Libs. We both were emotional and processing a lot. I was so happy for her to be doing what felt most in alignment for her. It was also scary because it was so much newness for me.

I had a trip planned to go to Cancun for a Dr. Joe Dispenza, week-long retreat. At this point, the last round of BA that we had run was coming to an end. We did no marketing for no future rounds. There wasn’t anything happening there and we were closing down the BA as a mentorship program. Libs was going to transition it. I was in this field of not really having a clue about what I was going to do. I flew to Cancun and spent a week in Cancun at this Dr. Joe retreat. If you guys want to know more about that, we did an episode talking about the crazy stuff that Dan and I have done. Inside of that, I shared about what happened at that retreat. It was probably one of the most profound experiences I’ve ever had in my entire life. I would highly recommend it.

I’ve gone to that retreat and it allowed me to ground and connect so much more with my higher self, with my purpose and with my own divinity. Getting clear on who I actually am and what I’m here for. Coming back from that was like I hit the ground running. I got home and took myself through the process of what we taught inside of the BA and built out my entire business in the course of a few weeks. That was the beginning of what I marketed as The Gamma Goddess Mastermind. That was how that brand came to be. It was me tuning into how much I truly loved the embodiment work, the soul work, the pieces around self-love and nurturing yourself and not burning yourself out. I had experienced that time and time again in the business where I was go, go, go and hustling, doing and enforcing.

[bctt tweet=”If you are building a personal brand or if you’re to be a service-based entrepreneur, you are the service. Your personality is the service.” via=”no”]

There are strategies, there are systems, but there’s also the energetic work behind it. That’s what The Gamma Goddess Mastermind embodied was building your business from a place of fun and flow. Building your business from a place of loving yourself, honoring yourself, honoring your needs, stepping into your divinity and embodying a practice that truly allows you to feel expansive in your business. I enrolled twelve women into that first round and launched it. It’s been absolutely amazing, the women that I was attracting and how all of that works. Inside all of that then began the process of really opening up enrollment for the next round. It felt a little exhausting if I’m completely honest. At the same time that all of this was going on with the business, I was also working through a lot of the body and health stuff style.

Recalibrating My Body

It’s always so interesting to me, especially as a woman and I’m sure for men as well, but especially for women because that’s what I can relate this to is how much are our self-worth, our body image, our self-love, how we see ourselves influences and impacts every single aspect of our lives. For me, as I had been going through the last couple of months, from September up until January and February, the process of healing my body from the adrenal fatigue, anxiety, the depression, all of these pieces required me to take a massive step back from training and completely recalibrate my entire nutrition outlook. Do a lot of healing work around how I actually ate, trained, slept and all of these pieces and not having to be so regimented and trusting all of that.

What that meant is my body has changed a lot from all of this and is recalibrating itself. I’ve had to work through so many body image issues. It’s been insane of what’s come up for me of judging myself, looking at myself, not feeling happy with the way I look. Not feeling like I am at where I want to be and not really loving the body that I’m in and having to do this deep healing work with it. It’s part of the reason why I love working with women that do this work because I know that what you do is so powerful because I’m in it with you. I take your programs, believe me. It’s been so interesting working through that, building the business and at the same time exploring the possibility of dating, which is this whole different experience in and of itself. How triggering dating has been for me.

It has been a process of healing a lot of the wounds that had been left open from ending the relationship with Matt and healing a lot of the self-love and self-worth stuff that came from that. This relationship didn’t work. The question was, “What’s wrong with me? What do I need to heal?” and all of that. It was this deep dive and deep reflection over that period of tuning into what do I want? What actually matters? What matters in a partner? All of these pieces. Arriving at a place where I’m thinking I’m ready to explore the potential of dating, starting to go on dates and experience different people. It’s been a roller coaster to say the very least.

I learned a lot about myself through these experiences and a lot about other people. I won’t even go too much into it, but it’s interesting to be a 23 almost 24-year-old female entrepreneur who has had the success that I’ve had in business and then to go out and date in the world. I’ll keep you all posted on that. There’s not really much to share other than it’s an interesting experience of learning. The biggest piece that has come up from you time and time again and what the dating has reflected is this whole piece around self-worth and around this self-love. Me actually loving myself, loving the body that I’m in, loving the life that I have and seeing myself as worthy, as deserving of having a partner who can meet me physically, financially, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Not just say that everything has to be perfect, but for somebody to be able to meet me and be in alignment with where I’m at.

MMM 80 | Reflection And Moving On
Reflection And Moving On: See yourself as worthy and deserving of having a partner who can meet you physically, financially, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

That’s been the piece that I’ve been working through and even now of really feeling worthy and deserving of that. This comes back to that whole piece of me feeling confident in my body, especially after dropping out of the bikini comp and having hit the pinnacle of the physical aspect of it, but not feeling mentally and emotionally good with it. Where I’m at now is slowing down and starting to get back into a place of how do I love and nourish my body to a place of health to where I can feel good in my own skin without the stereotypical attachments of what society deems is appropriate. What I actually love about me and my body and feeling strong, capable and confident. A big part of that for me is I love lifting, I love training and I love the ability to feel strong.

For me, it’s not so much about weight as it is about feeling good with my own body and feeling capable in my body. Having had gone through all of the healing process and some back injuries and other pieces like that, it has been an interesting challenge not to be able to physically train and that is something that I have a lot of my identity wrapped around. Learning how to move through that piece has been interesting. It’s definitely something to this date that I am still dancing with. I’ve hired coaches and trainers. It’s been amazing to have their support and helping me see my blind spots, get back into a place of trusting and re-programming a lot of the old programs that I had been running in the past.

I Don’t Have To Do This All On My Own

With all of that, it’s been a journey of healing my body, of healing my heart, of healing so much of me on such a deep level. It’s interesting after having run this first round of GGM, I had realized how exhausting it was from a place of doing this all on my own and realizing that I didn’t want to do it all on my own. That’s when Mel and I actually decided to partner up. We decided to collaborate and build our co-brand, the BBE, the Boss Bitch Evolution and the Boss Bitch Entrepreneur. That was an experience and a process in and of itself of realizing, “The fears that were coming up with that, now I’m doing this to someone else.”

What felt juicy about all of that was the piece that I don’t have to do this all on my own. I want that support. I want to do this to somebody else. This feels really good. Mel and I specifically decided to work together because we co-mentored and partnered with the BA previously. We knew how we work together. We work well because we both bring such different dynamics. Having her in my corner, especially the last few weeks since we decided to collab on this brand, which is crazy to think about. We legitimately were on a call to do weekly check-in calls with each other and talk. We literally sit there and talk about life, business, dating, boys and all the things. On one of these calls, we were both having the conversation around how exhausted we were feeling trying to market for our separate programs. Mine was the GGM and her program that she was running.

We came to the conclusion of, “Why are we doing this separately when we can build a business together and run it together and splitting everything down the middle?” It was such a duh moment where in 72 hours we literally built out the entire business model. We built out the entire program outline. We built out the entire sales page copy. We basically designed the entire site and got everything launched and ready to go in a 72-hour timeframe. We started marketing all of it and here we are.

[bctt tweet=”Believe that it’s possible to have a relationship where you can have it all.” via=”no”]

It’s really been a go, go, go process for me over the last months. It’s been a lot and I haven’t had a whole lot of downtime or time to slow down or tune in aside from a few weeks I was in Cancun and coming back from that in December. Even then, I hit the ground running having to build the GGM business. Once that was built, it’s transitioning and rebranding into the BBE and launching this program with Mel. The piece that all of this is getting to be where I’m at right now and what I want to share with you in experiencing all of this and what I’m tuning into. What you are receiving here is probably the rawest real version of me, of how fresh all of it still is. It’s been interesting to have the support of building out this new brand and having more spaciousness because of that and what that spaciousness allows.

I mentioned at the beginning of this podcast that it’s been interesting to tune into, “What do I want? What do I need?” Not just to have it, but because it makes my heart and my soul happy. Especially when I’m not coming from a place of financial scarcity because financially, I’m good. I’m taken care of. I know how to support myself financially in business. I know that’s a place that a lot of you deeply want to get to. Not having to worry about money and it’s amazing what comes up when you arrive at that place. After hitting the six-figure mark, this year has been a process of what matters has been the last few months for me. “What actually matters?” A reflection that keeps coming up is what am I doing all of this for? What do I want and why do I want that?

Part of the thing was, “We’re going to build this incredible business.” This is stuff that we’ve supported so many other people in doing that we know exactly how to do it. We know how to build a $500,000 or $1 million brand. We know how to build a company up. We know how to do marketing. We know how to do sales. We know how to do all of this. It’s not hard, but it’s exhausting and that’s what I’ve been running into more. I was like, “What part of me is not feeling in congruency with this vision? What part of me is feeling the resistance? What is my heart wanting?” What’s been coming through is wanting spaciousness, is wanting so much more ease and is wanting to feel excited.

What’s interesting has been supporting many women and being able to build their businesses up and get them to a certain level of success. At the same time with that success, hearing about the stress that comes with scaling and also reflecting on the experience that I had with Libs. Seeing the process that she went through of doing all of this and getting the business to what was a million dollar run rate. Deciding to turn it all around and shift all of that and do it differently. I feel that’s very much the season that I’m in. What feels really good for me and what feels good to teach all of the women and even the men out there that are following me. This has been something that’s been heavier in the sense of knowing how much of an influence and an impact I have. Even though maybe I don’t have millions of people following me, I do have people that listen to what I say, that watch my stories that respond in my stuff.

I see you guys, I hear you and I listen to you. Believe me, when I say, I tune into what you’re doing and how you’re responding because that matters to me. What also matters to me is making sure that I feel in integrity and that I feel in alignment with whatever I’m putting out into the world. A big part of what I’ve been leaning into is not building a business to build a business because what I’ve found, especially in the last few years, is building a business just to build a business that makes money. It’s not sustainable. It doesn’t matter how great the systems, the strategies or any of that is because this isn’t a career, a job or a hobby. This is a lifestyle.

MMM 80 | Reflection And Moving On
Reflection And Moving On: When you get to that place or that magic number that you think you need to hit to experience the life you want to live, how are you living each and every single day living up to that?

This Is A Lifestyle

That for me has been a massive shift of, “This is a lifestyle, how are you choosing to live?” Not when you get to that place of whatever that magic number is for you that you think you need to hit to experience the life you want to live. How are you living each and every single day living up to that? I feel this is where so many people are getting stuck or getting hung up or feeling frustrated because they put off their joys, their excitements or whatever it is they really want. They put everything off, they put everything on hold to build the business. They hustle, they sacrifice, they push and they go.

They get to this place where now they have the financial income, but they’re so stressed out, tired and exhausted. It doesn’t feel good and seeing that having been there many times. What’s so interesting is when you get to that place where you have all the financial income that you could, maybe it’s not everything you ever dreamed of. You’re in a place where it’s like, “This is working.” The fact that it’s working is more confusing because it’s working but it doesn’t feel good. This has been the piece that I’ve been leaning into full transparency with all of you. Something isn’t feeling as exciting for me right now. Something isn’t feeling fully in alignment from you right now.

As I reflect on that, a big piece of it has been coming back to this lifestyle component of what is the life that I want to live? “How do I actually want to spend my time? How do I want to experience my day-to-day life? Why do I want that? When I’m reflecting on this, what’s coming up is I want to do this and this is not that. Why do I want this? Why do I want that? Why do I want those things?” As I dive deeper, it’s because that’s going to make me feel this or that. It’s going to make me have that or that’s going to make XYZABC.

I am sitting around and I’m like, “Let me simplify all of this.” What do I actually want? It’s a question that I ask all my clients whenever we start to work together. It’s one of the first things that I’ve started to put into all of the programs and if you ever work with me or if you have worked with me in the past, then you’ll know. It’s like, “What do you want? What are you doing this for?” For me, I want to be happy. I want to feel loved. I want to experience spaciousness, flow, ease, joy and surrender. I want to be able to attend specific events at certain times of the year with friends that I love and adore. I want to be able to live somewhere that I enjoy living. That’s spacious. I want to be able to train, feel good in my body and spend the time making that. An actual majority of my life is my own health, my own fitness and how I take care of my body. I want to meet amazing people. I want to spend time getting to know people. I want to go and dance my ass off at festivals and raves and enjoy life.

I tune into that and I tuned in to, “What does that actually look like? What does that look financially? In a bare minimum, what would I need to make in order to experience that? I break it down and then it is mind-blowing how simple all of it is. I only need to make this much. Why am I putting so much time and energy into having to hit these big numbers for whatever the validity behind it is, and really reflecting on that? I was like, “Why?” Here we are. I’m sure for a lot of you, this is interesting to hear. I know for many of you, you’ve probably experienced something similar where at least for those of you that have been in the entrepreneurial game or even in the corporate game where you worked so hard to get to a certain place. Where you’re making the money that you thought you wanted to make. You’re making it and now you’re wondering, “What’s the point of having all of this if I want to be able to do these things?”

[bctt tweet=”Slow down and give yourself permission to tune into what your heart and soul truly desires and what is the highest excitement for you.” via=”no”]

What I’ve been leaning into is this is the lifestyle I want to have. What’s the business need to look for me to be excited about it, for me to feel good about it, for me to have it? What has reflected me was this idea that it doesn’t have to look a certain way. I feel that right now in the industry, there are so many people who have been focusing on a certain model. I take responsibility for my role in this as well of it needing to look this way. This is how it needs to be successful. This is how it needs to be even if it doesn’t feel super exciting for you. This has been something that I’ve been leaning into and breaking the rules, breaking the paradigm of how business and marketing need to look in order for it to be successful. Leaning into what would actually be in my highest excitement, what would feed my heart, feed my soul in a way that feels most nourishing for me and also creates the best results for my clients.

I genuinely give a crap about my reputation and I genuinely give a crap about the clients and the relationships that I built. For me, it’s been really leaning into the fact that I actually love doing so much more of this embodiment work. I love doing this when it’s coming from a place of heart, when it’s coming from a place of the soul. When it’s coming from people genuinely wanting to have an impact on the world. Not just because they want to make a ton of money even. That’s fantastic and 1,000% that would be great and you love what you’re doing. What I’ll tell any of you is if you don’t seriously love whatever it is you’re going to do, whatever it is you’re going to teach, whatever you’re going to build, it’s going to be miserable.

It’s not something that you can go and put on autopilot. If you are building a personal brand, if you are going to be a service-based entrepreneur, you are the service, your personality is the service. You will need to make sure that you enjoy what you’re doing. For me, this has been a huge revelation of like, “Business marketing fantastic and let’s talk about soul work because here’s the pattern that’s coming up.” I think this is a piece for so many of us where it’s easy to be magnetized by the superficiality of what we think we want this. Be magnetized by the superficiality of what you want because what you want is simple. I know that because you’re human and I’m human and I know at the end of the day what we all want and deeply desire is to have a life that we really love and enjoy.

It’s simple. If there’s anything that I’ve learned over the last year of everything that I’ve experienced the healing work that I’ve been doing and everything. It’s all coming back, again and again, to really loving myself, my heart, my body, my business and loving my life. Loving the relationship that I could potentially be in and loving all of it wholeheartedly. Feeling excited about every aspect of my life, and believing that I deserve to feel that excitement, to feel that joy, to feel all of that. That I deserve it and creating it that way and moving forward.

What I’m Shifting Into

What I want to share with you is what I’m shifting into. What I’m tuning into and the declaration that is this episode, the declaration that’s going out to all of you and to the world of what I’m stepping into. What I’m cultivating and what I’m creating. What I’m creating is this experience. It’s an experience to embody your truest self, who you are, not just on the superficial level of I want to be this person. Really loving you, becoming so intentional about the life you want to live and the business that you want to have and building the business around your lifestyle. If that means you want to travel, if that means you want to have the family or if that means that you want to go to raves every other weekend and have a simple life. Making that okay to have that and to remove this addiction that we all seem to have to achieve and doing and hitting these numbers, which can be fantastic. Yes, and it’s not the only thing. You can actually love and enjoy your life every single step of the way before you even hit those numbers.

MMM 80 | Reflection And Moving On
Reflection And Moving On: As entrepreneurs, it’s so easy to lose ourselves in our business, in the numbers, in the dream that we forget about actually living.

The more that you can love and enjoy your life, the easier it is to grow it and scale to that level, 1,000%. This is always a mind-boggling concept for the clients I work with when I tell them to slow down, to honor themselves, to take care of themselves, to nourish their bodies, nourish the heart and nourish their soul. That is going to be the gateway for them to grow and scale with so much more ease and flow. It’s you loving yourself and it’s you nourishing yourself. It’s you trusting this process and letting go of what your perceived timeline of what success needs to look and when it needs to happen and trusting that everything is happening perfectly for you.

That’s what I’m tuning into. When you hear me talking about business, when you hear me talking about marketing, you’re going to see a massive shift in how I talk about it. For me, it’s no longer about growing and scaling to six figures. For me, it’s about building a business that feels really yummy for your heart and for yourself. Building a business that supports a lifestyle that you want to live and that allows you to do work that you truly love. Moving into this year and moving forward, I’m only working with people that I genuinely feel are in alignment. That genuinely love what it is they do and that is genuinely here because it’s something that they’re excited about. It’s not just something that can make the money. For me personally, that doesn’t fill me up anymore.

This is so much bigger than that all thought. This is coming down to really as a collective, us healing each other, us stepping into a place of removing the vanity of how life needs to look. Stepping more so into a whole heart-centered place where we feel fully in love with ourselves, fully in love with our businesses and fully in love with our lives. Your business should be an extension of who you are. You shouldn’t be your business. It’s important to remember that because as entrepreneurs it’s so easy to lose ourselves in our business, to lose ourselves in the numbers, to lose ourselves in the dream that we forget about actually living.

Aside from all of this stuff, I’m happy to share that my anxiety is pretty much gone at this point. It’s been an amazing journey. The depression that I was experiencing is gone as well. It was all nutrition-related which is great to know. Hormonally, I’m almost 100% again. After dropping out of the comp, it’s been a process and I’m finally getting back into training and having a nutrition lifestyle that feels good. I’m so blessed and so grateful at this point to have amazing friends that I love so much. They are incredible women. The fact that I get to meet so many more of you in life and to let you know that I’m a human in the world who cares about having a life that you truly love. Building a business that actually feels really good and spacious that can be fun, exciting and lights you up.

For me, that’s what I want to be the embodiment of. Loving your way to success, whatever success means to you. Learning from this place of feminine flow where things are easeful, where they’re exciting, where they’re joyous. Where you can feel and live in a constant state of bliss and gratitude. That’s what I’m here to cultivate. That’s what I’m here to create. I’m calling on my king, wherever you are. For me, a big piece of that is believing that it’s possible to have a relationship where you can have it all. You can have somebody who sees you fully, who meets you, who loves you, but that starts with you seeing, loving, honoring and meeting yourself first. That’s been my biggest reflection throughout this entire process is how everything in my life has been a direct reflection of my own embodiment, of my own highest self.

The more that I leaned into truly loving, embodying and honoring my highest excitement, my deepest desires and giving myself permission to break the rules. Doing it in a way that feels most in alignment for me, not because so and so said it or because so and so is successful with it, but because of what works for me. That is where the most fulfillment, happiness, joy and excitement comes from. My wish for you, wherever you are in the world, is to really slow down. Give yourself permission to ground and to tune into what your heart, what your soul truly desires and what is the highest excitement for you.

To let you know that I see you, I love you and I’m holding space for you to step into this fully. If you ever need anything, please don’t ever hesitate to reach out. Hit me up on Instagram and on Facebook. I love connecting with each and every single one of you. I’m sending you so much love. I hope that in some way this touched your heart and to let you know that, “I’m human. I go through all of it too.” I’m right there with you guys and we’re on the same path. I’m not anywhere above you, I’m right there with you, alongside you and to let you know then if I can evolve and shift through all of this and if I can do all of this, so can you. I love you. I believe in you. I honor you. I see you and I’m here for you always. I’m sending you each so much love. Thank you so much for reading this episode and if you enjoyed it, let me know.

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I'm Sophie Kessner

First generation Mexican American mama that’s gone from hood to strategic hustle. I’ve spent the last 10+ years inside the personal development space supporting 100’s of coaches in scaling 6 figure businesses online & supported 4 different companies in surpassing the 7 figure mark. Today, I focus on making scaling more sustainable by integrating the lenses of business, systems, automation and CEO Development through an Equity centered and Trauma informed lens.

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