EP #88: Reclaiming Your Feminine Power with Julianne Vaccaro

Most of the women desire to change, shift, and fix their body. Many of us are disconnected from our ability to recognize that we have all of the answers, even when it’s something with our body. Holistic health and mindset coach Julianne Vaccaro shares how women can reclaim their feminine power through holistic health and spiritual psychology. Julianne dives deep into the essence of addressing every single area of who we are as a human and as a soul and why the spiritual component is impactful and pivotal. Join Julianne as she helps you bring back your own best version of yourself.

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Reclaiming Your Feminine Power with Julianne Vaccaro

I have another incredible woman that’s going to be diving in on many different pieces of what’s been present for her and also what’s been showing up in the collective and the transmutations that have been taking place in business, in life and with clients. I can’t wait for you all to hear her story and what we’ve been tuning into. Here’s a little bit of background before I introduce her. I found this woman when I was in the part of my own health journey of having already done bikini comp training. I felt exhausted and burnt out. I wanted to figure out how to get back into a more connected way with my body and my health. I was battling a lot of the other pieces that came with the binge eating and the diet mentality. I wanted somebody who I felt understood more of the spiritual connection and the actual deeper aspects when it comes to health, nutrition and transformation as a whole.

Julianne was somebody who was referred to me through one of my followers on Instagram. When I went through her content, I was like, “This girl.” I saw the sacred geometry tattoos. When we connected, it was interesting because there was the spiritual pull and at the same time, it was working through a lot of the pieces of being fully seen and being able to be vulnerable and transparent. It’s been such an honor and privilege to have her support and diving into my own healing and transformation with my body and heart. We’re going to be dropping how all of this has shifted as well with bringing in more pleasure into business and bringing in these deeper aspects of sexology and sex magic. I’m excited to be welcoming Julianne. She is a Women’s Transformational Coach before igniting the women in her life to reclaim their power through more of the holistic health and that spiritual psychology. Here is Julianne.

Thank you so much for that amazing intro. It’s been an incredible journey to work with you as well. You’re saying these shifts in the collective and all of it. It’s incredible to see and feel my clients shift through that as well.

Every time we would connect on calls, it would be like, “Here’s what’s present for me.” You’d be like, “Yeah, ironically.” That seems to be the theme across the board. For my audience that’s not familiar with you, let’s give them a little bit of background about who you are, your story, what led you up to here and what you’re tuning into now.

My story started a few years ago with what I feel a lot of women struggle with. It’s this desire to change, shift and fix their body. At that point in my life, I was trying to shrink. I had recognized that I wanted to break into the health and fitness industry. I was going to go to school to be a registered dietician and I felt this massive resistance. I was like, “I don’t want to sit behind the desk.” I went more of the holistic and the coaching route. I went to school for that. I dove more into the physical side of things. I became a yoga teacher, a boxing instructor and a personal trainer. I did all of that physical stuff for a few years, the same time as I was coaching. There was always this disconnection for me in the industry, but more for my own being. There was this strong desire to change my physical and focus so much on the aesthetics.

There was also all of this information and experience that I had on the holistic side of things. I was a raw vegan. It’s this imbalanced perspective that I have of like, “How do I bring this all together?” I found bodybuilding and it all shifted even more. I competed for about three years. I did mostly bikini. I did one figure. That distance between the holistic and what I had lived out was even bigger. I had completely destroyed my body through the process. Right before entering competing, I was a raw vegan. I went extreme in the holistic, organic area and ended up having severe adrenal fatigue. I helped my body heal through that. I had to switch my diet up and learn more about myself in an intuitive way. Bodybuilding happened and it was back to, “I need to fix my body again.” It’s a lot of hormonal imbalances, period loss and gut health things. More so, the relationship to food and my body was destroyed.

It came to a point in my competing career where I sat down with it and was like, “What do you want to choose and live out for the rest of your life? Are you going to continue to stay focused on the aesthetics and sacrifice 90% of your life and your health for this? Is there something different and more?” I took that step back. If there’s anybody reading that’s done any competitions or has a competitive background, usually when you step out of that, you’re like, “Who am I now?” It pushes you to look at the direction you want to go in and all of your things to work there and to heal. That journey was big for me. It’s diving deep into my own self, my own identity and my own healing process. It’s healing that relationship with food and my body and healing myself from the inside out on every level. That whole experience led me to create the program that I offer and the work that I do. It’s been a lot of stuff packed in those years.

That was a journey, to say the least. Your whole story with all of it is what resonated so potently for me. There are a lot of people that teach holistic health, intuitive eating or all of these different aspects of healing your gut and healing your body. A lot of times, it’s hard to find somebody who understands the competitive backgrounds. It’s the identity attachment that we have to training and to work out. It’s something that you genuinely enjoyed doing. Oftentimes, when you get into competing, it becomes more like a punishment or something that you feel like you have to do. Before, it was something that you genuinely enjoyed doing. For me, it was a huge reversal of, “How can I get out of the pattern of trying to force myself to train hard, go all out, do this all-or-nothing mentality and get back into a place where it is more balanced, more about, “This feels good to move?” It’s not just about this end goal or outcome, but it’s more about the process, bringing more joy into the experience and falling back in love with where you’re at.

In my own journey, I never felt like I found anybody. It wasn’t the way it is now. There wasn’t a bridge between holistic health and the physical side of things. That’s why I struggled for so long because I was trying to figure it out. I couldn’t understand how to bring it all together and how to navigate it. I resonate with that.

It was a big piece. The other part that comes into it too is you also have the more spiritual component of it. You’re bringing in the aesthetic piece where it’s like, “I want to make sure that I feel good in my body. I want to make sure that I’m not just hitting this physical standpoint from a place of sacrificing my health but also it has allowed me to be connected with who I am on a deeper level, letting it be an extension of myself versus it being, “This is all I am.”

[bctt tweet=”Our experiences are different, but the underlying hurts and pains are very similar.” via=”no”]

The spiritual component is massive and it is a necessary and a needed part of making the shift out of it.

I’d love to drop into this with what you’ve been teaching in regards to the Balanced Body Method, the program that I’ve been going through and how things have been evolving and shifting for you and the biggest things and patterns that you’ve noticed that have shown up for your clients in the transformation that they had.

BBM is a five-phase program. We cover mind, body and soul. I had found many other modalities or approaches. We’re only focusing on this one small piece of you like, “Adjust the nutrition, or adjust the training,” and there’s so much other noise. There are many other things running in the background. When I created it, I wanted to address every single area of who we are as a human and a soul. The underlying piece to it is healing from the inside out on every level. We’re working on gut health. I focus on education. That’s a big important piece to show up fully and to understand. My intention is to always bring my clients back to themselves, back to their own internal wisdom and be able to be their own health coach and health advocate.

Education is a huge component in that. It’s education around gut health, supplements, hormone health, intuitive eating, period health and adrenal fatigue. It’s also giving the tools to be able to be adaptable and be able to show up to whatever comes your way, have it be okay and understand that it’s for you. It’s to know how to move through and around or out of it in a way that’s beneficial and still serving you in the direction of your purpose and your goal on every level. Maybe it’s a physical thing, not being able to go to the gym, not getting your meals in, a relationship issue or conflict, your career thing or whatever it is. It’s knowing how to move through those situations in the best way that’s in alignment with you and keeping you in that place. It’s also reclaiming your own internal wisdom, your own divinity, in a way that gives you more clarity and more self-trust. Many of us are disconnected from the ability to recognize that we have all of the answers, even when it’s something with our body.

What I find is there’s a lot of resistance around the surrender, and I’m saying that in relation to everything. It’s like we were chasing this thing, whether it’s business, a partner or our body. I think that’s why the spiritual component is so impactful and pivotal because there’s so much there underneath the surface. All of this desire is sometimes masking those underlying hurts and fears. We’re covering gut health, hormone health, intuitive eating and a lot of inner child work and mindset shifts. It’s a very intuitive approach too. Everybody is so different, which is beautiful, but I also find that there are a lot of similarities.

The experiences are different but the underlying hurts and pains and things to be worked here are very similar. It’s usually lack of self-trust. Self-trust is a big one, not feeling like there’s permission or safety to feel, express or even explore those areas of yourselves. Whether it be going back into certain memories and bringing in the mind-body connection and bringing in the pleasure component, the sexology and the sex magic. That’s been a big shift within my own journey as of lately. That’s been a cool addition into the program. It feels like it’s completing and bringing the fun into it but also it feels like it’s this straight path to showing up in a bigger way and in more of an embodied way. The key is the embodiment.

There are so many juicy pieces right now and I’m like, “Which one do I want to dive in on?” Let’s drop it on this piece because I feel like this is what sets the tone with the type of women that you attract. It’s this positioning of reclaiming your divinity and your own self-trust and knowing that you have all the answers. This is a big piece that I had to work through in trusting myself again and being like, “I know what I’m doing. I don’t have to be dependent on a certain routine, regimen, lifestyle or whatever it is.” It’s getting back into that part of being more intuitive with how you exist, not just in health and fitness but in life overall. I love the synchronicities between health and fitness and then business. It’s always fun to see. It’s like, “Where are we experiencing resistance?” It’s always been a place of like, “Where am I not trusting and because of that lack of trust, am I not willing to surrender?” I’m forcing. I’m trying to push and make it work my way versus knowing myself to experience what existence has to offer.

We take all of the energy and direct it right into the physical body. When something is awful, “I look fat.” When we have a fight, it’s immediately directed to our body. The body is the outlet that so many of us take to try and make things better and to make ourselves feel in control. The body is almost the vessel that I am calling in these women with. There are so many other things underneath the surface. I was always externally searching. It was like, “I need the best coach and I need this one.” It was never enough and I was never satisfied until I was forced to sit down with myself and be like, “How can I do this on my own?”

We run a program where we’re chasing this outcome, this end result, whether it’s having this physique, a certain weight number, a body fat percentage, an amount of income in the business, number of clients or whatever the thing is external. It was you or someone else that I was connecting with. They positioned it and said, “We don’t want that. We want what we believe that’s going to give us.” We tune into that, it’s coming back to this piece of like, “Why do I want to lose the weight? Why do I want to grow the business to that level of success? Why do I want that thing? What’s that going to mean about me?” It’s coming back into this internal piece where instead of projecting outwards, we’re coming back inwards. It’s usually a piece of worthiness, enoughness, lovability or some point of feeling like, “I have a purpose or I feel needed or I feel like I’m here for a reason.”

When we dive into that, it’s like we’re almost coming from a place of lack, scarcity or fear is what I oftentimes find. We’re chasing this perceived outcome of what we believe needs to happen in order to receive that versus what I feel like you do and the work that you have with your clients. What was reflected back to me is recognizing that already exists within you. It’s not having to chase this thing to get there but coming more so from that place. When you’re accessing that with where you are, it becomes so much less about the results. The results become a binary factor of like, “That’s great.” I love the process.

[bctt tweet=”Our desire is sometimes masking underlying hurts and fears. ” via=”no”]

It’s bringing you into that feeling place, into that remembrance of who you are, reclaiming it, taking back your power and embodying that. The goals and the outcomes might still be there but often they’re not. Often, there’s this sense of fulfillment and where we’re at and there might still be a little bit of working towards that physical goal, but it’s from a completely different place. It’s been cool to watch because a lot of the clients that have gone through have cleared so much of that noise out. Every single one of them either switched a career or ended a relationship. It’s massive shifts. It’s been cool to watch those stories melt away and get them back to their own authentic truth.

I love the positioning in this because it does feel like that. We, overtime, pick up on all of these different programs or all of these different spells of what we think we’re supposed to be or supposed to do or how we think life is supposed to look, whether it be relationships, business, career or body image. The work that you do, the perspective that I have on it, it’s like you’re creating the container in space for somebody to hold up the mirror and ask themselves, “Is this me?” It’s shutting all of the layers that aren’t true for them and allowing them to rediscover and uncover what is that soul-self, is the word that comes to mind.

It’s been cool to watch it evolve as well because it naturally went that way. It’s a lot of mirroring back and the container that is created is that mirror. Also, there’s so much strength built in that process. It’s bringing you back to the truth of you, the clarity and the knowing that you do have. It’s shedding those layers to be able to access it with surety.

What I love that you do so well is inside of this container, you’ve cultivated and you provide such a feeling of safety for your clients. They feel safe enough to shed the layers and realize that there’s no judgment. There’s this unconditional love that’s inside of that. For myself and for a lot of other people, there’s that fear of like, “If I shed this, is it going to be okay? Am I going to be okay?” There’s going to be that judgment, “Am I still going to be loved?” It’s whatever the stories that we attach to it. It’s been such a magical gift of like, “I feel safe,” especially for a lot of the women that I work with and you work with as well, who are more powerhouses, who are more of those high achievers, who have done a lot, have accomplished a lot and they hold a lot of space for a lot of other people. Oftentimes, it’s like this dance of them being so used to being in that Alpha position, that they forget how to soften and be held.

I resonate with that so much and it shows up everywhere. In the high achiever, it might be harder to break through, but I think that’s common across the board. Much of my own story has gone into the creation of this and into the purpose behind it. You reflecting that also shows my own growth. That’s why I coach the way I do and why I’m so passionate about the work because you are able to show up bigger in a different way. Half of these conversations with these things were not things that I could have ever spoken about. Pleasure sex was not something that I could have ever been comfortable with. Shedding those stories gave so much freedom. It’s been cool because the women that are going through it, at the end, a lot of them went to coaching school or wanting to give back because the shifts that they felt has been so impactful that they want to share and spread it.

Let’s dive into this space because there’s so much juice inside of this. I love the synchronization between what you’re bringing into your business and also what I’ve been tuning into in my own practice and in my own business. I’m honoring this pleasure practice. It’s bringing more pleasure back into your life, into your business and the way that you exist. I’d love to hear what sparked that for you, what that means for you, for your clients and what that looks like.

A lot of my old stories were the relationship that I had with my body and myself was so abusive and very unhealthy. That was also reflected in the relationships that I was involved in. I was in two abusive relationships, one of which ended. It was pretty traumatic. I ended up pregnant. That was an intentional pregnancy on his part. There was a lot of physical trauma around that space for me and a very big disconnection between me, my body and my sexuality. It was such a beautiful journey because it was so synchronistic as well. I had done much of the logical work. I got the awareness and healing. It did much, but my body couldn’t let it go. It was shown to me. I ended up finding a somatic therapy program that I went to and released a lot of that. I did a lot of healing around my room space and around sexuality and sensuality. I released everything on even a deeper level. It opened my eyes to how much of the more there is. It gave me the space to ask for more, to be able to go into the more without the baggage, without the heaviness of those things in a very clear way and introduce that pleasure back. That’s been a beautiful component to be added.

Through the whole process of all of it, I think that you make what you want to make out of your life and out of your experiences. I’ve chosen to look at those things as the greatest gift because I truly believe that they were. It’s helped me so much to be able to relate to other women. The more I dive into it too, there’s so much sexual abuse. There’s so much abuse everywhere. There’s so much of disconnection from women from their sexuality and from pleasure. It’s been incredible to introduce that into the business and to see everyone like light bulbs, turning on and reclaiming it. The logical stuff is so important, but there’s also the body. We can also bring this fun, pleasurable side into it and cover all of it at the same time.

My response and what’s coming up is honoring and acknowledging you and sharing your story. It’s a scary thing to dive into. Even when we’ve shared it from a place of power, it’s still always that piece of like, “Here’s my heart. Here’s my soul. Here are me and all of my vulnerability. I’m sharing it with the world.” There’s such beauty in that because through that, you’re empowering so many other women to be able to have permission to know that if that’s something that’s resonant for them, it’s okay. I want to acknowledge that because it’s huge.

Thank you. When it happened, I knew that I was going to be sharing it. I needed to work my way there. I needed to feel right. It was also this knowing that I need to share and I need to give this permission. Going through that and how many women in my life came forward with their own experiences, I’m like, “How is nobody talking about this?” I don’t want to get into politics and I don’t follow, but I see many things pop up around. The abortion laws are happening. There was a statistic that one out of every four women has had abortions. We don’t talk about it. I’m grateful for those experiences because I’ve been able to hold the container for others that have perhaps been in this similar situation, abuse or anything like that.

[bctt tweet=”The body is the outlet that so many of us take to try to make things better and to make ourselves feel in control. ” via=”no”]

It’s a big thing, especially the synchronicities with everything that’s happening. It’s pretty intense. The other part of what it brings in is there are so much shame and guilt that comes in when women are talking about sexuality, sensuality or reclaiming their power. There’s almost a feeling of not feeling safe. It’s interesting how that then comes into and shows up in the way that we become obsessed with wanting our bodies to look a certain way and wanting to be a certain way. It’s like, “That’s going to be the thing that fixes me,” believing that we’re broken in some ways.

It’s cool when you get there. You have all these things in your life. You’re looking back and you’re like, “That’s why that happened. Thanks for that heartache.” This was the next piece that needs to be brought in into this space and in health and fitness too. There’s a reason why we’re all searching and trying to get to this image and be this way. What’s happening in the collective is here are so many synchronicities, even with breast implant illness. I had an interview with my friend and we went way the spiritual route on breast implant illness. Midway through it, I had the awareness that breast implant illness hasn’t caught on too much too fast but it’s going to. It’s forcing the collective too to look at what messages are being put out. It’s not a blame game or pointing anything at the masculine. It’s the feminine too. We’re going in that but that has created so much illness in women. It’s going to get to the point where it’s going to need to be loud enough to be looked at, look at the body image piece of it, what we’re preaching and how we’re living.

Bringing it all in full circle, the theme and the commonality in all of this comes back to this piece of having this shameless self-acceptance and self-love with wherever you are. It’s knowing that, in your heart and your soul, it’s enough, regardless of the cellulite, the money in your bank account, how small your breasts are or what your body looks like. All of these pieces are this mirror for us. The way that I look at it is like, “How can I love myself even more through these perceived imperfections?” We use the shame and the guilt about it. There’s the guilt around what we’ve experienced or what we’ve done, whether it’s a shame in feeling like we’re not enough with where we are. Instead of feeling like, “I need to go chase this thing or go do this thing,” or whatever it is, it’s like, “I’m enough with where I’m at.”

That is truly the key to ever get to where you want to be. If you’re not coming from that place, there’s that slide back down the mountain, back to where you started.

I want to bring this up because it’s a huge point of resistance for a lot of clients when we start talking about surrender. When I talk about surrender in business and I talk about like, “If it’s not working, you need to stop. You need to get back to the state of being and figure out what’s going on energetically.” The reflection in that would be something more along the lines of, “If the diet is not working, I need to stop the dieting.” There’s this huge piece of, “If I become okay with where I’m at, there’s a fear around them.” They’re feeling like they’re not going to be able to push themselves to get to where they think they want to go. It’s almost like, “I’m afraid that if I am okay with where I’m at physically, I’m going to get fat or if I’m okay with where I’m at in my business, it’s not going to grow.” The perception of it is to become content or settle that I’m no longer going to be able to flourish.

A lot of it comes down to surrender. The trust piece is in it. It’s self-trust and the trust in what’s bigger and that’s where the spirituality and the personal development work is so big. To ask somebody who’s competitive or a high achiever to slow down and don’t do anything, it may be like, “What?” That’s why looking at all of those things is important because to make those shifts, you need to come back to that self-trust. I also think that it can be easy. The more you knock those stories down, continue to lean in and surrender to it, it can be easy. When you bring pleasure, it can be fun. It’s like, “I can have fun along the way.”

I love bringing in all the sex analogies with this because it’s almost like when you’re trying to force something in and it’s hard and dry, it’s painful. I want to come already but it’s not happening. It’s so much less verbal. When you surrender to this process and allow yourself to think like, “I’m going to enjoy this experience. I’m going to allow myself to ravish in this process and this experience.” Whether I orgasm or come, it’s fantastic. Also, the experience becomes so much more pleasurable because you’re allowing yourself to be in it fully.

This is another reason why sex needs to be talked about more too. There are so many parallels. We’re forcing the orgasm or forcing it to be quick or not taking the time to enjoy the journey. It’s like, “I’ve got to do this to do it.” Half the women aren’t self-pleasuring at all or connecting to themselves in that way. If we’re in a relationship and we want something, there’s so much blame and pushback. It can be easy to blame our partner for whatever it is like, “I’m not doing better at my job. You’re not driven so I’m not driven.” It’s a cycle. When it comes to sex and pleasure, what we need to come more into is recognizing that our own self-exploration is going to call in more of that too. Sex is the last piece like, “I didn’t even think of that.” I need to play with myself to know myself and be able to show up in a relationship and be like, “This is what I like,” but there are parallels everywhere.

This is a big one. It’s funny because it’s the same thing in business and marketing. A lot of you reading are also entrepreneurs or you want to step into more of an entrepreneurial endeavor, even if you’re in the corporate field and you want to excel. This deep sense of fulfillment and happiness can only truly come when you know yourself. You can know yourself logically but to be able to be so connected to your body that you can understand the visceral responses that your body is giving you and the intuitive hits that you have when you’re experiencing something is profound. It’s starting to get into having more of a pleasure practice, releasing the shame and the guilt around that or the embarrassment or whatever the emotions are. It’s honoring and loving myself through that process.

There is such a deep level of reclamation in taking back your sexual sovereignty and recognizing that it’s like, “I can give myself all of this.” They can also experience so much more of that with somebody else, but it also brings this deep sense of wholeness back to us. It’s like, “I can feel this orgasmic state of bliss through this process, without having to go anywhere or do any crazy things or meeting anyone else. I can create this inside of myself. I can maintain this state of being and bring that into what I do in my day-to-day life.” This beautiful process of, “I don’t need all of these other things that I thought I wanted or I thought I needed.” It’s simplifying and clearing out what matters.

[bctt tweet=”Let the stories melt away and get back to your own authentic truth.” via=”no”]

The wholeness piece is big. It is bringing you back to that orgasmic state to your divinity but also to your wholeness. Going back to that analogy, we can rely on another person to do that but we can also do it ourselves. It is always about you. It’s what you’re going back to at the end of the day, every single day, no matter who your conscious partner is. Make yourself feel whole. Connect with yourself in that way. It’s that wholeness but also the power in that, what you can create from that in your orgasmic state, how you can bring your desires and what you want to manifest into that space and create it from your wound. That is the center of creation. Another thing that came up is when you start tapping into it, there’s so much external feedback. The amount of external feedback you get is crazy. What’s cool to see too is, when you are so activated in that way, you scare off the negative energies. They don’t want to touch you.

There are no words for how profound this process and this experience has been personally and for a lot of the women that I’ve worked with. I’d love to get your perspective on this phase because something that shows up for a lot of women is there’s almost this amount of shame that’s attached to self-pleasure or to any type of pleasure practice in general. What comes up is not feeling safe, not feeling connected, not feeling worthy or not feeling like it’s okay for them and what they would need to hear in that space?

It’s important to be intentional in practice and also in setting the container for yourself. I know that safety and permission are a big piece at the beginning of the program too, even to explore the inner child work or whatever it is. It’s giving yourself the permission, space and the safety to explore those things, to be intentional and to release any expectation around what you think is going to happen or around what you think you’re trying to achieve or trying to get to or the way it should play out. This goes for everything else, body or whatever.

It’s releasing the expectation around it, being intentional with what you’re going in for to connect with yourself and being open to what does come forward for you. The body has memory. Our yoni has memory too. There’s probably stuff to clear out from that space too. There might be pain, tears and anger that come from that space. That is your body clearing out too. That piece of judgment around it is also important. There were probably a lot of things that may have brought you to that place of judgment around it, but it’s important to recognize the judgment that is coming forward from you in that act and how you connect with yourself in that way.

A big piece of this somatic for me was recognizing how much judgment and shame there was around it, but how much of it was not mine. It’s how much was collected over my life around what sex meant or picking up on sexual energies and making them a part of me. It can be extremely beneficial and valuable to have a safe container, whether it would be from a practitioner, a coach or whatever, you can also create that container for yourself. You can lean into those things. That might be you crying through a memory that’s coming up when you’re self-pleasuring. That is the wound space clearing out. It is a beautiful process like anything else. There are so many levels to it.

It’s being intentional and mindful of the judgment and in that intention, being clear like, “We’re going to clear some stuff out. We’re going to explore.” It’s bringing that childhood back to it too. Much of the shame and the judgment that has come forward is when we play around as kids. It’s when we experiment and are told not to touch ourselves, not to play with our friends or anything like that and that creates more of a story. We don’t talk about it. We don’t touch ourselves. In my own self-exploration, I’ve brought a lot of that inner child energy, that playfulness to it. It brings me back to when I was a kid, I would connect with myself in that way. It was fun. It was light and you could laugh, you could play. There was nothing attached to it. Being intentional with how you can bring that into this space and the containers is another piece to it.

I want to drop it on this piece as we’re starting to wrap up this container and acknowledging the part that there will probably be moments in all of this where it’s not so much orgasmic and it is very emotional.

It’s like you hit a layer and then there’s another layer. There’s one like, “I have not thought about that in so many years.”

It’s intense because it’s such a beautiful reminder for all of us. We can almost become arrogant in the sense that we think we’ve done much healing so there has to be nothing left. We almost make it wrong when we start to feel certain emotions that aren’t in congruency with our state of homeostasis and we’ve reached that place of bliss. When you’re feeling whatever you’re feeling, this is your body releasing that. It’s to recognize that it’s like, “It’s okay for me to have these emotions, these memories and whatever’s coming that come through when I’m not attaching myself to it and not trying to hold onto it or attach meaning.” That was a profound lesson in and of itself. Allow what’s present to surface without the judgment, without the story. Release it, experience it and move through that. That’s been a huge part of the pleasure practices, especially when you’re in that experience. There have been multiple times where I’ve had a pleasure practice. Inside of that, it’s been this ugly crying and almost like this angry, visceral yelling. Afterward, it’s this deep release of what comes through that practice of like, “There was this much that my body was energetically and physically holding onto. It finally has the opportunity to let that go through this energy.”

Going back to the question you asked, it was like, “What would you say to the judgment and the shame?” Lean in. That’s it. Leaning in is going to allow you to work through it. It might not logically make sense like, “Do you want me to touch myself?” That is part of the process in leaning into it. I had a conversation with a client before. We were talking about all of this stuff too. She was saying how sometimes during sex too, she’d have an outburst of crying. She was like, “I don’t want to make him see it. I don’t want him to think it’s about him.” I’m getting this wave of emotion. That could be your body releasing too. I’m going back to the healers that I went to become a somatic sexologist to be able to do the same work that I did with them. What makes their work different than other somatic therapies that I’ve seen is that they bring the pleasure component in. It’s leaning into the judgment and leaning into the fear to actually get past it, you have to lean in. There were parts in that process where it was wailing, anger and all of the emotions. On the other side, it’s freedom and you can access that.

For anyone that’s connecting with you, that’s vibing with your energy, they’re so magnetized by everything that you’re sharing. How can they connect with you? How can they find you? Is there anything that you want to share that’s a top of mind and really present?

It’s all okay and you’re perfect in your own way. I strive for perfection so long in my own podcast, The Excellence Over Perfection Podcast. It’s funny how it’s come in full circle. Now I’m like, “You’re perfect.” The best way to find me is probably through Instagram or my podcast. It’s @JulianneVaccaro. The podcast is The Excellence Over Perfection Podcast. I hang out on Instagram most of the time, on my story often. I also have my coaching program, which is the Balanced Body Method that will be undergoing some rebranding as well to captivate more of what we shared. It’s something with reclamation in there somewhere.

Thank you so much for creating the time and making the space to dive in and to share vulnerably and openly all of your shifts, your truths and everything that you’ve been divinely guided to and allowing us to see that. It’s such a gift and such a blessing. I feel honored. Thank you.

Thank you so much for having me. It’s a beautiful conversation. Thank you for providing the space.

If you enjoyed this episode and if you’ve got some gold nuggets out of this, please let us know. You can reach out to me. You can thank Julianne on her Instagram with all the great stuff. If you’re not following her, I would highly recommend it. Thank you so much for reading. We will see you in the next episode. Have a good one.

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About Julianne Vaccaro

Julianne Vaccaro helps ignite women to reclaim their feminine power through holistic wellness & spiritual psychology, to step into full authenticity & self-expression, in a body they love.

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I'm Sophie Kessner

First generation Mexican American mama that’s gone from hood to strategic hustle. I’ve spent the last 10+ years inside the personal development space supporting 100’s of coaches in scaling 6 figure businesses online & supported 4 different companies in surpassing the 7 figure mark. Today, I focus on making scaling more sustainable by integrating the lenses of business, systems, automation and CEO Development through an Equity centered and Trauma informed lens.

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