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EP #90: Pleasure & Orgasmic Sex As The Pathway To Success with Ashae Sundara

Loving yourself and achieving success through pleasure in a whole new level is a necessity and an adventure. Love, sex, and pleasure coach Ashae Sundara has devoted herself to unraveling the secrets of intimacy, prosperity, and empowerment. In this episode, experience success through pleasure as you learn how to embody who you are and function better at work and at home by learning how to pleasure yourself the right way. As Ashae emphasizes the need for pleasure in life as well as the different pathways that you can open to achieve it, she also shares her pleasure practice and how breathing impacts orgasm and ecstasy. Be a part of the conversation and learn some tips for reconnecting with your inner self through different explosive ways.

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Pleasure & Orgasmic Sex As The Pathway To Success with Ashae Sundara

I am so elated to be jamming with you. I have a special guest that I’ll be interviewing and jamming out with throughout the rest of this episode. I had the incredible honor of working with her through one of her programs, which was insightful and transformative in my own spiritual and central embodiment. She’s somebody that I admired from afar for a while and comes to love. She’s going to bring so much joy to each of you as you’re reading the messages that she has to share and everything that we’re going to be dropping into on this episode from pleasure to creation to vulnerability to sex and so much more. I’d love to introduce you to this incredible love, sex and empowerment coach. You may know her. If you don’t, you’re going to fall in love. Her name is Ashae.

I’m super excited to be here, to be in the exchange and to see what unfolds.

For anyone in my audience that’s not familiar with you, give a little bit of a backstory of who you are in present reality and anything that you want to share that’s allowed you to be where you are.

I’ve been so many different kinds of coaches throughout my journey. It started from nutrition coach to body love and food coach. My journey has led me to what I share. I’ve been a business mentor. What it’s all brought me toward is what I am embodying now which I believe that when we come into our sensual power, we remember ourselves. We can do what we came here to do on the planet. We can create deeper intimacy, love and passion with those around us. What got me here particularly in this embodiment are some shitty relationships, going through all kinds of betrayal and dishonesty, seeing even myself in a “conscious relationship,” and seeing how much lack of presence to true vulnerability and reality that there was. A lot of my experience with men and my sexuality, in general, has always been craving and wanting something so deep, but not knowing how to get there. It’s also feeling disappointed, mostly in myself because I started realizing that what I’m craving in intimacy all come from within myself.

As I started going on that journey and uncovering my own sensuality, self-love and empowerment for myself and for who I am as a lover and as a mentor, using vulnerability and pleasure as a guide, I came into this place. It’s my passion to share sexual empowerment and embodiment with the world because I know that we do that we arrive at these places in ourselves that we know that they’re there. There are all of these different aspects and archetypes within us that we know we want to express. The first stage of where I was in my first prior relationships was blaming the men or the partner or the world for where I was or my circumstances, rather than taking ownership. I’m all about empowering us to take complete ownership over our desires and boldly walk into them.

[bctt tweet=”Pleasure is a potent alchemizer especially when talking about orgasmic energy.” username=””]

There are so many juicy layers that we can dive into. One of the pieces in speaking from firsthand experience of going through your programs and experiencing your world is the empowerment that truly does come from it. It comes from the container that you create with the women that you work with and allowing them to feel safe enough to drop in. The other part is the illumination of what we know but forget to remember. You do such a beautiful job of lacing in the knowingness with the actual embodiment and experience of it to where it’s not just, “Contextually, I understand that pleasure is important. I also feel, realize and experience how it is so important and how it’s such a beautiful part and beautiful practice in my business and my life.”

I was thinking about this. I was in a yoga class. I was doing my own practice, but I hadn’t been to a class in a week or two weeks. I lost my practice that was deep. I said, “This is such an important part of my life.” I was comparing it to pleasure, sex, self-pleasure and everything under the pleasure category. I’ve come to a place where that part of my life isn’t even a question anymore. Whereas in something like yoga, it would feel good in my body and I want to make that step. I’ve gotten to a place in my pleasureville where it’s like eating a meal. It’s such an inherent part of life. I want to make that more widely accessible and available because the way that we grow and who we get to be in the world when we tune in to pleasure and make it an essential ingredient in our awakening and the embodiment of who we are is amazing.

For a lot of you reading, many of you are entrepreneurs. Many of you run that program of the hustle mentality, the get-shit-done and the go-go-go. It’s a program that I run in the past and for you as well. It’s something that we all experience until we realize that it’s not serving us in our highest self. It’s almost this process of relearning how to slow down and find pleasure in the present moment and realizing that pleasure practice, whether that is natural pleasure practice or the practice of yoga or anything else that sparks more joy is what creates more space for us to be more creative and more expansive.

I thought it was so perfect that I took such a juicy three-hour nap before this episode because I woke up and I’m like, “This is perfect.” I’m dropped into a more divine feminine place of creativity and creation. If you tune in to the background behind that creativity, oftentimes there is that hustle mentality or that go-go-go or, “I need to make money or what’s going to be the highest in return from me?” Versus allowing ourselves to rest, relax and receive what we’re meant to create from that space. I learned this so deeply a couple of years ago because I was in that hustle and go-go-go. I had a couple of business coaches. They were not checking me on that but then I hired someone new, a different mentor.

Through one month of working with her, I had decided that I was going to live in the desert alone from a month and drop into my feminine and into receivership. There were three days where I was freaking out a little bit. My nervous system was like, “I have to do more. I have to create more. I have to be more.” There was that detox period. It was the first time that I allowed myself to rest for a week or more. I don’t remember how long it took for the download to come in, but I was working on my self-care. This was when my breast massage intensive came through. It was my practice. It was what I was moving through and working with.

MMM 90 | Success Through Pleasure
Success Through Pleasure: This whole game that we’re playing in life is us coming into more and more intimacy with ourselves.

It hit me. I got the download. That course that I created has been successful for over 100 women going through breast massage intensive. At that time, I was like, “Who creates a breast massage course?” At that time, I didn’t understand. It was my first sex goddess. The course that you did is deeper into the sensuality. The breast massage was the first one. I was like, “Can I do this?” It came from my relaxation. I’m constantly reminding myself of that because it’s easy to get lost in the hustle mentality. It’s even easy for someone who’s been out of it to think that they’re out of it forever.

We need to check ourselves often as creators and be like, “Where is this coming from? Is this true? Is this my truth or is this me doing something because I think that I have to? Is that the productivity and the experience that I want to offer the world?” Even deeper, “Is that who I want to be for myself?” This whole game that we’re playing in life is us coming into more and more intimacy with ourselves. That’s why I love sex, intimacy and the study of it. We’re all learning how to love ourselves, embody who we are and bring in our soul, wisdom and embodiment into these bodies on top of all of the programs and stories that we have received and we get to let go of.

It almost mirrors the concept of intuitive eating where a lot of people are like, “If I allow myself to do whatever I want when I feel like it, how can I trust myself to get things done and be successful?” There’s almost this belief or this program that, “If I swing all the way to the other side of the pendulum still in that feminine, how is anything ever going to get done?” I love the picture you painted where it’s so much more about this harmonization between these energies. You’re leading so much more from this place of nurture, self-love and pleasure and that’s what helps to guide the masculine energy. It’s not coming from a place of fear, force, scarcity or lack, but from this place of love, joy and pleasure.

Anything that comes from those vibrations is going to be super powerful and super potent in the world. The way I see it is that our masculine selves are here too. We are wholeness and one being but it is helpful to speak of the masculine and feminine energetics in this way so we can learn to come into wholeness within ourselves. The way I see it is that my masculine serves my feminine but my masculine doesn’t serve my feminine first. Instead of going, “I need to do this so that I can relax,” I go, “My feminine comes first.” I’m going to be in receivership, relaxation, pleasure and flow. From that place, I am going to show up. I am going to let the masculine side of myself take action and lead. In whatever you’re doing, your creation, your business or your entrepreneurship for the right reasons, you want to be of service naturally. It’s part of who you are as natural. You will be led and guided.

If you’re not in alignment with a why that’s in integrity with yourself and with doing this work, it will also show up when you relax into your feminine. Maybe you won’t get anything done. You’ll have to look at that part of yourself that isn’t leading from a place of true desire. That’s why we all get into this. It’s because there’s a desire to do it. If we’re only in it for the money, we might see that when we relax into the feminine. We might see, “I don’t have anything to do. There’s nothing that’s coming through.” For the most part, when we relax into our feminine, we receive more messages and more wisdom that we can share with the world and communicate. Our experience of whatever we’re going through is relevant to the people that we’re meant to serve.

[bctt tweet=”Self-care is your business. The more you’re in tune with yourself, the more you are magnetic to money.” username=””]

When you’re coming and you’re tasting an orgasm from a place of, “I want to have an orgasm,” but you’re not allowing yourself to pleasure, receive, slow down and feel into your body. When you’re dry and tight, it’s not a fun experience but you’re trying to force it versus when you allow yourself to be in the experience, be present and luxuriate in the process of sensuality and embody that moment. It happens so much more effortlessly and fluidly and it’s so much more enjoyable. Let’s drop in on some of these topics that come up for a lot of the women and for men as well. You and I can speak very potently with the women out there that are reading. A big fear that a lot of women have is, “I don’t have space to dive into my emotions, to feel or to have these pleasure practices.” Oftentimes, there’s a lot of shame, guilt or resistance in going there. There’s the pattern of avoiding it with the busyness. It’s for those women who may be in a place where they’re thinking, “I don’t have time to create a pleasure practice, or I don’t feel comfortable with diving into a pleasure practice. Or there are emotions that come up when I do that. I don’t feel I want to go there. Let me avoid it and stay numb.”

I’ve been working with a concept in so many different angles but it feels irrelevant to this. It’s the concept of leaning in past our discomfort, past any trigger or challenge that arises and past what we think that we need to do and instead, lean in to vulnerability. The vulnerability of the body one day might be like, “I don’t feel sexy and I don’t want to touch myself.” That might be an experience, but how can you lean in with vulnerability and tenderness to that spot of, “I don’t feel sexy,” and go into a pleasure practice from there? It may be, “I don’t feel productive so I don’t feel worthy of giving myself pleasure,” but how can you lean in with the pleasure as a vital nutrient of life from that vulnerability of, “This is where I’m at?” Use it to alchemize whatever is there. Pleasure is a potent alchemizer especially when we’re talking about orgasmic energy. It can blast away a feeling, a belief, a sensation or pain. It’s all about leaning in.

When I got into this work for myself and my own life, I was going through a lot of body challenges with my health and my hormones. That’s why I started working with orgasmic energy in the first place because after doing a zillion cleanses, all the diets and reading that orgasmic energy, sex, self-pleasure and all that could help me with my health and my hormones, I was like, “Sign me up.” There was resistance there. I did have spaces where it’s like, “I don’t need it. I’m not ‘horny,’” which is what we think we need in order to lean into pleasure. We think that we need something on the outside to tell us that it’s okay. If we have a sensation of being horny, it’s okay to lean into pleasure. If I did my to-do list, then I can lean into pleasure. I saw that pattern and I was like, “This doesn’t need to be here.”

I learned how to work with sexual energy from a healing space and a loving space and a vulnerable space. I saw that there are so many different pathways that we can open to when it comes to pleasure and receiving ourselves in that way. Completely let go of this idea that, “I don’t have a strong libido,” or anything like that because to me that was a mental block. For anyone who says, “I don’t have a strong libido,” it’s saying you’re not prioritizing pleasure. That might trigger some people but that’s my job.

It’s potent. On the other end of this, if we were to dissect it even more, oftentimes we run a program where it’s like, “I want to create, expand and evolve, but I don’t understand why I’m hitting this upper limit.” We’re constantly seeking externally something to help us evolve as in a pleasure practice, sensuality or this embodiment piece. Instead of going externally, we’re going internally. The way that I’ve looked at it and my perception of it is like, “Where in me am I blocking these divine downloads and that ability to channel in a lot of source or universe or whatever it is you want to call that incredible energy to come through so that I can expand from the inside out?”

MMM 90 | Success Through Pleasure
Success Through Pleasure: There are so many different pathways that we can open to when it comes to pleasure and receiving ourselves in that way.

I had a couple of things to do in town. I knew I would be driving around a bit. I was in a good space where I was like, “I’m going to bring a vibrator in the car with me.” I don’t know why, but I felt the calling to do it. There was this one phase where I was in between picking up something here and picking up something there and I was like, “I’m going to choose to raise my vibration, to open my channel and to infuse more joy into my day.” I was in the parking lot. I turned the vibrator on and started vibrating my body and getting into a pleasure state. We think that, “If I use a vibrator or if I touch myself, my nipple or my yoni, I have to orgasm or I have to do a whole thing or I have to feel sexy first.” You can be in a car parking lot and cup your hands over your yoni and breathe and remember your power. Tune into yourself and breathe some pleasure into your body.

There are so many ways that we can work with the sexual energy that gets us into that flow that we’re talking about and out of that sense of hustle. That hustle vibration is not just something that’s in our mind. It’s in our body and our nervous system. It’s a survival mechanism that we have, that we think that we need, in order to survive. It’s so important to move that through the body if you want to work on embodying that. You can say, “I’m releasing hustle. I’m moving into the flow,” but if you’re not moving into flow in your physical body, which is where it all is anyways, then you’re still hustling into flow.

Let’s paint that picture a little bit. For some people reading, they may not fully have that experience what this actually means to fully surrender into the flow and understanding the difference of forcing trying to be in flow. Understanding it conceptually but the difference in that, embodying that, the practice of that and what that looks like.

I’ll use my nap example. Before I laid down in bed, I thought to myself, “I could get on Instagram Stories, respond to a potential new client, make this post or write.” I could do all of these things. There are always going to be things to do. I thought to myself, “Would those things come out better if I’m rested from this state that I’m in?” I was so exhausted because I had stayed up late having an intimate night with my beloved. I woke up early and went to yoga. I was so tired and felt emotional because of it. Sometimes you start feeling emotional when you’re tired. I was in that. I was like, “Why would I do the thing from this space when I could give myself a moment, two hours or more of rest, relaxation, pleasure, tuning into my body or going within?” I learned this because I’m super sensitive. Sometimes when I’m out and about and I’m doing things in town or even if I’m working in a coffee shop, sometimes I’ll need to come home and lay on the floor for fifteen minutes and ground all my energy and rest.

We’re so used to movies and whatnot of people in a corporate environment, an office environment or a work environment that we believe that’s what we need in order to be successful in some way, to be productive in that way. I love showing myself that that doesn’t have to be the case. I could be in the car, making a video from there or in bed after taking a nap. My creations are coming from that flow within my life of going, “It’s important for me to go to a yoga class this morning. Although I could wake up and do X, Y and Z for my business, this is my business.” I like to tell my clients, “Self-care is your business.” The more you’re in tune with yourself, the more you are magnetic to money. I relearn this lesson often because I’m always checking myself and there are times where I move into more of that hustle mentality. I’m not fully gifting myself this and I wonder why I’m not making the amount of money that I’m capable of, that I make when I’m in flow. It’s a process of relearning. It’s also something that, when you start embodying it, doing it and receiving the results from it, you receive the world receiving you more. That is divine encouragement to me.

[bctt tweet=”Breathing is the simplest way in terms of physical practice to bring more pleasure into your self-pleasure experience.” username=””]

It’s a juicy topic especially when we talk about creation. A lot of the people that are tuning into this episode are very much creators. It’s almost like we put pressure on ourselves to need to create something within a certain timeframe. We think that we need to launch a program or market to make a certain amount of money. This is a big theme you’ve experienced and I’ve experienced in the past. It’s like, “I need to create something now because I want to be able to hit these marks or bring in this revenue.” It’s coming from so much more of this place of force where it’s like, “How can I surrender and allow myself to receive what needs to come through versus trying to force something to happen?”

Whenever I am in a space where I’m not feeling creative and I’m not feeling that divine inspiration, I know that I’m not prioritizing pleasure. It’s the number one marker for me. It’s when I’m saying, “Let’s have a date night. Let’s have a tantra date or a sex date. Let’s get creative in this way. Let’s experience that. I’m going to practice my orgasmic pleasure practice this morning.” When I’m not feeling that creativity, I go straight there like, “Where am I not showing up for my second chakra? Where am I not showing up for my sexual expression or my sensuality? How has that dimmed? How am I not prioritizing that? Am I not making time? Am I not making space?” We all feel that time crunch. We’re moving into and want to move into a space of timelessness, of being able to be timeless beings where we’re in that divine space of always the present moment.

There’s planning to do in business, creativity and creation. It’s a reminder if I’m not there and I tend to stay there. If I go too deep into an emotional space, I’m uncovering something in myself or I’m witnessing my shadow and wanting to alchemize and work with it, which has been a big part of my journey with my first relationship, I’m doing the work and allowing myself to see myself and transform. Sometimes I can go too far and to an emotional space and it’s that reminder of, “How can I use pleasure to alchemize these emotions?” Everything is energy. We have to look at, “What is the block? What is that thing that’s in the way of my creativity?” If you don’t know what it is, it doesn’t matter anyways. Come back to your wholeness, which is reminding yourself that you are an infinite, creative being. We all are and what is going to tap you into that source? For me, it’s always a pleasure.

One of the questions that perfectly ties in all of this is, “What is your pleasure practice? What does that look like for you?”

It’s different every single day. I’m always tuning in to what’s true and real at the moment. Pleasure has to be mind, body and soul. It can’t just be, “Pleasure is good. Let me masturbate.” It has to be like, “What’s going on with me right now? What wants to move or what wants to be uplifted? How do I want to feel?” I’m always tuning in to that. Mostly in the mornings, I like to have a pleasure practice as part of my morning ritual. Sometimes that could look like one of the wand practices that are in Sex Goddess. Those are in my practice often but it depends. In some days, it’s not in the flow. Sometimes I’ll do orgasmic breathing. I’ll do deep breathing from the second chakra and from the pussy, all the way up to the heart. I’m bringing whatever I want to feel up. When you exhale, it’s releasing anything that I don’t want to feel and then I’m moving into that space.

MMM 90 | Success Through Pleasure
Success Through Pleasure: Ecstasy emanates from the heart. It is sexual energy.

Sometimes the pleasure practice could look like turning on music and dancing super sensually. It looks different every single day. I wouldn’t say that there’s one particular thing, but I have an intentional reminder to do a pleasure practice, whatever that is that day. Sometimes I’ll do journaling. I might do yoga. There are days where I don’t and I forget, but it’s rare these days. It’s as important to me as journaling would be to someone. That’s just what you do in the morning. It’s how you wake up. It’s having your warm mug of lemon water. It’s part of the morning practice. It’s a pleasure practice, whether that means full self-pleasure, moving sexual energy through my breath or dance. There’s, for the most part, something that’s included in there. I like it in the morning because it sets my day up in the reminder of that.

That was probably one of the biggest things that I take away from the course. I call it more of a devotional practice to myself and my higher self of, “I’m going to honor what my heart, body and soul need. It does look a little bit different. In some mornings, it’s a full-on orgasmic pleasure. In other mornings, it’s like, “I want to lay here and feel my heart and body.” Having that has been monumental and setting the tone. I’m having so much more from this orgasmic state of being versus the state of, “What do I need to get done now?” It’s allowing me to be so much more in that heart space where it’s like, “What feels good for my body?” and making decisions from that place. One of the women was asking about how to create more pleasure and how to have better orgasms. I’d be curious to get your perspective for how you would frame this. The framing on it might be a little off. What she’s asking is how she can create more pleasure in her practice.

What practice is it? Is it in a self-pleasure practice, more pleasure, more sensation and more feeling?

She didn’t give a whole lot of context, so we’ll go with that.

Pleasure practice can mean so many different things. I am going to take it from that angle because that’s what it feels to me in terms of creating more pleasure in a self-pleasure practice. I know a lot of women who will self-pleasure, but it’s either coming from a place that doesn’t feel good, a place of force or thinking that I need to. Maybe it’s coming from a place of, “I know that pleasure is important so I’m doing it, but I’m not feeling the full capacity and I know that there was more.” I’m going to give two easy ways to start bringing more pleasure into your practice.

[bctt tweet=”No matter what size you are, we have to all learn to love ourselves in the sea of comparison.” username=””]

The first one is deep breathing. Sometimes when we’re pleasuring ourselves and we’re not breathing, we’re deeply limiting the capacity of the pleasure to circulate through our body and the feeling of ecstasy like, “I’m in ecstasy.” I have come to know and realize that ecstasy emanates from the heart. It is sexual energy. A full-body ecstatic experience is that sexual energy that’s flowing through the heart chakra. It’s flowing through the heart space. Breathing is such an easy way to move that energy. Sometimes it can get so stuck in the second chakra and in the sexual organ. This is for a man or a woman and the breath is the link to spirit. The breath is the link to moving that to all other places, to our third eye, heart and throat. When we breathe more, we moan more or there’s some expression that’s coming through us. Breathing is the simplest way in terms of physical practice to bring more pleasure into your self-pleasure experience.

The second thing is more of a mindset. It’s about getting curious. So much of our sex and sensuality practices come from images that we see, either in movies, in porn or how we saw it done. Usually, we don’t have friends that are super open to having sex in front of us. Maybe you get to some other magical space. Usually, what is shown to us is something that we end up modeling. I want to encourage everyone to know that your pleasure is different than mine, different from Sophie’s and different from everyone. Sometimes you’re doing something or going through the motions that you think you need. Maybe you think, “This is the only way I can orgasm so I’d go to the same thing every time. I touch myself in the same exact way every single time because I know that it can bring me to orgasm.” Maybe you touch yourself in a certain way because that’s how you saw it done in porn or in movies or that’s how you think that you’re supposed to do it. It’s an invitation to get curious and to go, “I wonder what would happen if I did this or touch myself like that or looks in the mirror right now? I wonder what would happen if I had this intention when touching myself.”

That curiosity is what created my programs because it’s me being with the possibility and the mystery of sensuality and sex and finding the practices that serve from there. Anyone can create a radically awesome self-pleasure practice with curiosity because you have two hands. They say that your hands are the extensions of your heart. You have a unique body, a unique way that your body lands onto itself, a unique history and unique emotion in the moment. There’s so much that you can find, do and create in that space. It’s about getting curious like, “I wonder what would happen if I touch myself super slow at this moment? I wonder what would happen if I held off orgasm and feeling it coming on? What if I laid myself here and did something else?” It’s that curiosity that can bring so much more pleasure to you because you’re tuning in to more of the soul space, not just the second chakra.

One of the other questions that are coming up is asking how to feel sexy during sex. The way that she frames it, it’s a chunkier girl. I want to reframe a little bit more. The deeper question of this is how to increase your level of sexuality and sensuality within yourself, whether that’s with a partner or without a partner. Especially with a partner, we oftentimes get into a little bit more self-judgment. It’s more of that sexual sovereignty question of how to feel confident and sexy regardless of your body type.

There are two ways that I want to approach this. The first is, depending on who you’re with or the sexual partner, you can say, “I’m feeling a little insecure in myself.” I want to speak that so that I clear it. Sometimes if there’s something very strong in our field or in our experience and we’re not disclosing it and including the other in it, it can build up and become so much into our minds that it blocks us from being present. Sometimes, speaking the insecurity or vulnerability is an incredible pathway to deeper intimacy. It depends on who your partner is. If you’re sleeping with people that you don’t think would honor you in your insecurity, I could understand why that doesn’t feel something that is approachable. It doesn’t even matter if you are not. Doing it would invite a person to lean in to that vulnerability with you as well. Doing that will also help you see where a person’s at in their own emotional intelligence.

MMM 90 | Success Through Pleasure
Success Through Pleasure: Pleasure is so amazing because it is a teacher of self-love.

If they’re able to hold space for you there and they don’t need to cuddle you, doing it is not for them to heal you. Doing it is to speak forward something that you’re feeling. If you plan to do or practice that or get vulnerable in your insecurities in a sexual space, I invite you also to share, “I don’t need healing. I don’t need fixing. This is nothing that we need to do about. It’s something that I want to let go of and express so that it’s not in me anymore.” You can lean into that. I can’t tell you how profound it’s been when I’ve done pieces like that. It’s even in mid-sex of, “I’m in my head right now. I wanted to release that.” It moves it. Sometimes speaking what is vulnerable, insecure or challenging for us in the sexual space frees up the body because it’s not in mind anymore. There’s more space.

The other thing is with regards to your body. The background piece of this is that it’s incredibly important for you to have a self-pleasure practice and to have a practice where you are admiring and honoring your body and bringing pleasure into your body. One of the reasons why pleasure is so amazing is because it is a teacher of self-love. If we’re pleasuring ourselves, we’re also teaching ourselves to love ourselves. We’re teaching our body that it’s okay to take up space and be in pleasure, exactly where we’re at. Every woman deals with this pretty much. No matter what size you are, we have to all learn to love ourselves in the sea of comparison. It’s self-pleasure as a base practice but if you are feeling that insecurity about your body with your partner, I encourage you to move your body. Sometimes, either we’re laying down and maybe connecting from a laying down position, we’re feeling insecure. That might freeze us even more. The body might feel a little bit more frozen in that.

The invitation is to lean into movement. That might mean getting up and shaking your body out, dancing, switching positions, getting up and making a special tonic or getting some chocolate and bringing it down and eating it together. The idea is to get out of your mind. If you’re in your body, it doesn’t matter what your body looks like because you’re in it. If you’re in your mind, it matters what your body looks because you’re looking down on your body and the judgment from the mind rather than letting yourself land in your body and experiencing pleasure from there. If you’re insecure about your body in the moment of sex, it’s a good indication that you’re not in your body. You’re looking down on your body. You’re not present with yourself and your lover. Presence is such an important gift that we can give our partners. These are all beautiful reminders for me too. There are so many steps that we can go to this. In the vulnerability and in the embodiment of the pleasure, it seems a little bit like, “Duh.” We get to decode. We can practice this for an eternity and still find places where we can deepen into some more vulnerability or more pleasure.

It’s such a beautiful reminder too. It’s also something that comes up. It’s interesting to have the dichotomy in the practice of having intimacy with somebody. You almost forget that you have a body and you’re so in the experience versus when you’re not in the practice of it. It’s seeing your body in the mirror and being, “I’m observing and judging myself. Let me get back in there,” which is such a profound practice. For anyone that’s resonating with your content and was like, “That was juicy. I want to learn more. I want to dive deeper,” how can they find and connect with you and get back into your world?

You best find me on Instagram. It’s my favorite place to hang out in the social media realm. If you search for Ashae Sundara, there will be links. Please do that. Feel free to send me a message if you have any questions or if you are curious, even in the program that Sophie went through. If there’s anything that came up, feel free. Also, my website is You can find some of my courses on there as well.

Is there anything that you want to share or that’s coming through?

One of the things that feel important is the more intimate we are and the more intimacy we cultivate with ourselves, the more intimacy we cultivate with others and with our business. I see self-intimacy as the pathway to the relationships, connections, creativity and abundance that we want. We’re more in tune with ourselves and it’s coming from that true place. Thank you so much for having me. This is beautiful. I love witnessing what came forward. I hope everyone is inspired and feeling excited about the devotional pathway of pleasure.

I’m so grateful and honored to be able to have you on and to share space with you in this container. My audience experienced the depth of who you are and the message that you have to share because it’s so poignant and powerful. Thank you. For all of you reading, thank you so much for joining us and jamming out with us. Thank you so much. We will see you in the next episode.

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About Ashae Sundara

MMM 90 | Success Through Pleasure

Love, Sex, and Pleasure Coach Ashae Sundara has devoted herself to unraveling the secrets of intimacy, prosperity, and empowerment. She’s offered service to hundreds of women over the last several years to support the rise of the divine feminine within themselves.

She mentors awakening souls into their power: through purposeful pleasure, the illumination of self-love, the expression of sensual freedom, and awareness to their quantum field.

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I'm Sophie Kessner

First generation Mexican American mama that’s gone from hood to strategic hustle. I’ve spent the last 10+ years inside the personal development space supporting 100’s of coaches in scaling 6 figure businesses online & supported 4 different companies in surpassing the 7 figure mark. Today, I focus on making scaling more sustainable by integrating the lenses of business, systems, automation and CEO Development through an Equity centered and Trauma informed lens.

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