I’m Moving Out Of State With A Man I Met 4 Months Ago….
You read that right.
After a year of being single, living on my own, exploring the depths of the dating world—
I’m going all in.
After only a few months of knowing him, we’re deciding to do this.
A little crazy?
Oh but it feels soooo right.
It’s like this big decision was the final piece of the puzzle to the massive recalibration my nervous system has been moving through most recently.
It’s absolutely insane the way source has lined everything up so synchronistically.
How insane? Well, get this…
I was living at my old space until my lease ended on August 8th (the lions gate, for my astrology babes) and had been struggling for a while on finding a new space, deciding to renew, and not really feeling sure what to do.
Because nothing had been a full body yes for me—
I moved through a massive ego death and decided I’d move back in with my mom until I got clear on my desires were and had certainty about where to go next.
When I had the conversation with my mom, it was great…
Until a week later she announced that she had just gotten engaged and was planning to retire her business to move in full time with her fiance—
We came to an agreement that I’d take over the rent at her home and she’d be moving out and stepping into this new chapter in her life.
I’d been sitting in contemplation the last 11 days wondering if I’d airb&b the place, get a roommate or just enjoy living on my own again…
Yet still, my nervous system hadn’t completely settled into the idea of staying in this space and I hadn’t fully landed on any decisions.
I’d been putting off painting, decorating, and waiting for everything that my mom had to be moved out.
Come to find this Saturday, Rod— the man I’ve been seeing for the last 4 months, comes over after being gone in Seattle for a week clearly feeling heavy.
I ask him what’s present.
He sits me down saying he has some things he needs to share with me.
Of course, my mind wonders to the worst case scenario, thinking— “Here we go, this was fun. See, men always cheat.”
He starts by saying “I need to talk to you and get some things off my chest… When I was in Seattle this last week…”
*My heart starts to close*
He continues… “I had one of the recruiters at my company offer me a huge promotion for a position I’ve been wanting to get to for a long time.”
*huge exhale and sign of release— literally every muscle in my body softens*
going on… “But it’s been a really tough decision to make because the position is in Seattle so I have to move back. And when I take all of the emotion out of it, I know this is what’s right for me even as much as I don’t want to end what we have going.”
I look up at him, feeling this deep sense of relief and my heart opening knowing the weight he must have been feeling keeping this all inside. I feel this deep pride for him choosing himself first and doing what’s best for his career and life,
so then I say to him… “This is amazing. I’m seriously so proud of you and happy for you! How are you feeling?”
He admits its bittersweet because it’s everything he ever wanted but is having a hard time with the decision.
So I ask him… “What would the most ideal situation be that would be in alignment with your highest excitement?”
What he says next, absolutely lit me up.
“Well, I really value you and this relationship and I don’t really want things to end. So I’d love if we can try this out and maybe you can come up to Seattle with me. You can try it out and see if you like it, then decide if you want to give it a try or we can even do long distance and you can come visit.”
Immediately my heart and body were all in and it was a clear full body YES.
I knew right away long distance isn’t something I could manage primarily because my love languages are physical touch and words of affirmation. I need someone here with me.
“Sooooo… is this you asking me to move in with you?” Literally grinning from ear to ear as I’m patiently waiting his response.
“Yeah, but only if you want to. I don’t want you to feel pressured.”
On the verge of tears filled with excitement, butterflies, and all the nerves I expressed… “I’d love to. Let’s do this. I’m all in.”
And this whole new realm of possibilities opened up.
There’s not a whole lot of logic to any of this.
Except that it FEELS sooooo right.
It’s the first time in MONTHS my body has responded with a full body yes and every part of me has been completely onboard.
We let everything sink in for the next few hours and I decide to call my mom to let her know what’s present.
Surprised, supportive, and a little protective, she wants to talk with us.
I express to her I understand how crazy, naive, and silly this all may seem, but I’m willing to take the risk.
The way I see it is this is either going to be the most amazing love story ever or it’s going to be the most amazing learning experience that’s going to blossom me into even more of the women I’m supposed to be.
We all meet after breakfast the next morning. Aka this Sunday.
She starts asking Rod about his intentions, where his head is at with us, what he wants and laying all the cards on the table.
He shares how much his heart is in this and he wouldn’t ask me to come up if he didn’t see this going somewhere long term.
We talk about all the fears, doubts, insecurities, and possibilities.
Get it all out.
And decide that we’re really doing this.
So I write up the email to send to our landlords and the 30 day notice has been put in.
I call my dad later that night and share the news with him.
(Granted, this is someone I haven’t introduced to him, let alone hardly mentioned.)
He had his own beliefs about how I should take things a bit more conservatively.
Try it out by visiting first, let him get settled.
Not to jump in to fast, that it just doesn’t make any sense.
And after a few minutes of processing his initial shock, he asks….
“You’ve already made your decision, haven’t you?”
Yes, dad. I’m doing this.
Realizing the reality of who I am, he leans in and offers his love and support.
“I’m here for you always, just know that. I’m happy for you. Nervous. Do I get to meet this guy before you move?”
We make plans.
I’ve spent the last 72 hours on literally every rental site looking at all the houses, researching neighborhoods, sending emails, filing out applications and processing the idea that for the first time in my life….
I’m moving out of the state of California.
With this man.
That I shamelessly love.
It feels sooooo fucking right.
So over the course of the next few weeks, I’ll be sharing more about the move adventures.
We have a little less than 30 days out before Rod starts his new position in Seattle and I have every intention of being grounded in settled in a new cozy space before hand.
I have less than 3 weeks before my entire life will be completely shifted and I’ll be living in a new state, in a new place, completely out of my element.
Talk about a way to shake things up.
I have absolutely no idea what’s coming from any of this.
It could end terribly.
I might get to Seattle and absolutely hate it.
Miss the beach and all the comforts of home here in San Diego.
All the fears of what if kick in…
But then, I surrender and lean in.
This is what I’ve been setting the intention on for MONTHS.
Its terrifying, exciting, exhilarating and completely UNKNOWN—
But hey, that’s where all the magic happens.
So here I am,
Heart wide open, following my bliss.
Leading from this place of pure love and openheartedness
Softening into this new reality where I get to co-create with this man of my dreams. Except, he’s real.
And this is all actually happening.
I’ll be sharing so much more of my journey and story with all of you over the next few days, weeks, and months.
My intention is to be as real and raw as possible as I move through this season.
It’s a complete uprooting of everything I’ve ever known.
A true shedding of ALL my old skin.
And I’m sooooo fucking ready.
To a lot of people, this might sound completely insane, it kind of is.
The safe thing would be to take it slow…
test the waters…
see where things go.
But that’s not me.
I don’t want to sit around waiting for life to happen.
Settling for anything that’s less than my absolute highest excitement.
I’d rather dive in the deep in NOW and find out sooner rather than later if this is it.
And if for whatever reason its not, that’s okay.
This next season gets to be a wild adventure full of love, joy, growth, and sooooo much soul expansion.
I’m willing to lean in.
I’m willing to get uncomfortable and put down everything I know to take a chance on this.
For me, the possibility of love is worth the risk.
No, this isn’t conventional.
I’ve never really been one to follow the rules anyway… 😛
Yes, this is all soooooo fresh.
Part of me is 100% still processing it.
And at the same time, I can’t wait.
Being with this man feels like home.
And knowing how he shows up for me has been more than anything I’ve ever dreamed.
I sincerely hope that my life can be a permission slip for you to follow your bliss, to break the rules, and do what makes sense for YOU.
Even if it sounds crazy to everyone else you meet, that’s okay.
You’re living for YOU, live a life worth sharing and give them something to talk about.
Thank you for joining me on this journey.
And if you’re ever in Seattle, let’s hang <3
p.s. I’ll still be visiting San Diego on the regular– 😉 Be sure you’re following me on IG to stay up to date with all our life updates <3 @iamsophiekessner