You know when you go through those deep dark nights of the soul?
Where you find yourself literaaalllly questioning everything about who you are, what you believe and who you thought yourself to be?
Well they feel like they hit even harder when you’re an online entrepreneur especially as a personal brand and they can shake up your confidence something fierce when you’ve taken an extended period of time offline
There can be a lot of fears, doubts, insecurities and thoughts that come up like…
- Why is no one engaging with my content anymore? I feel like no one see’s my stuff or sees me as the expert, authority or leader that i used to be
- How do i comeback online after being off for so long? I feel like i don’t even know how to show up anymore and I’m noticing my own self doubt and insecurities creeping in way more than before
- What do I even say? I feel like i’ve been off for so long that I’ve just been collecting and gathering so many thoughts but anytime i sit down to write i feel like I’m just overwhelmed and don’t even know where to start so I just stay quiet and keep it all to myself.
- There’s so many people who used to look up to me that are now way further ahead than me, how am I ever going to compete or get back in the game when I feel like i’ve fallen so far behind?
- I don’t even know who I am anymore and I feel like my confidence is fleeting, why would anyone want to read what I have to say if I’m not even confident about it anymore?
OOOOF, let me just say, I FEEEEELLL YOU.
Motherhood and postpartum for me was A HUGGEEE EGO DEATH unlike ANYTHING I ever expereinced before
And all those thoughts and feelings up there ^^^^
Yup, those where MY thoughts and feelings too, so trust me when I say, YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
But here’s what IS important to know and remember….
JUST BECAUSE YOU HAD AN OFF SEASON (or an off YEAR) (or 2 years or how ever many its been) DOES NOT MEAN ITS THE END OF YOUR STORY!
In fact, this is where the greatest stories are written
The comeback story.
Have you ever watched a movie where the main character just had it all come easy to them, no challenges, set backs or struggles and somehow just magiacally got exactly what they wanted?
HOW FREAKIN UNREALISTIC BORING AND UNENTERTAINING WOULD THAT BE?!?!?!
Here’s the thing I’ve come to realize about the seasons of trail and tribulation especially in entrepreneurship….
THEY ARE HERE TO DEVELOP US.
THEY ARE A GIFT
They are here to provide us with the most epic and empowering life experience that becomes the ground work for our comeback story.
And I don’t know about you, but personally…. There is nothing I love more than a soul shaking, awe inspiring underdog comeback story!
A few of my all time favorites are…
Why do I find these so awe inspiring and uplifting? Even amongst all the pain, tragedy, hurt, devastation and sadness that happens?
Is that the person didn’t quit.
Even when they had every right to stop trying, to give in, to roll over, play dead, and let life take over…
THEY CHOSE TO KEEP GOING
THEY CHOSE TO STAND BACK UP even after every time they got knocked down and because of that strength, that resilience, that persistence, that willingness to listen to the voice deep within and keep giving it one more shot, one more try…
They became legends.
THAT is what your setbacks are doing for you.
They are the groundwork for your legendary story
When all the odds are stacked up against you
When you feel like you’ve fallen more times that you can count
When you feel like quitting, like it’s never going to end, like you just want to quit and give up
BUT YOU CHOOSE TO KEEP GOING
THAT, you amazing beautiful human, is a story worth sharing.
It doesn’t have to look like trophies, stadiums, or millions of dollars.
It just has to FEEL like you knowing you’ve given YOUR ALL so you can walk away at the end of the day PROUD of who you are and what you’ve done for yourself.
So when we talk about coming back, when we talk about you navigating the fears, doubt, insecurity, uncertainty and looking back questioning who the heck you’ve become and what happened to you…
I need you to remember, THIS IS NOT THE END OF YOUR STORY
This is the beginning of the greatest comeback in his/herstory.
Being a personal brand can be sooooooo tricky because we can take everything so personally but if there’s one gift, one takeaway i can give you that has the power to shift everything,
It’s to recognize other people’s experience of you is not personal.
It’s all only feedback and you get to choose how you interpret it and utilize it for your own development or destruction.
So when you are getting ready to comeback online, to start trying again, to start building the business, posting, selling, sharing and facing your biggest insecurities when you’re met with crickets… no comments, no likes, no engagement, no sales
Take it as data but do not take it personal.
Keep going, keep testing, keep moving forward in finding your voice, finding what works and what doesn’t.
Embrace the power of SO WHAT.
SO WHAT no one liked your post, make another one
SO WHAT no one bought today, keep showing up and selling
SO WHAT no one commented on your video, KEEP MAKING CONTENT
SO WHAT no one showed up to your event, keep inviting them to come.
We can be soooo incredibly hard on ourselves, constantly questioning what we have to say, if it’s valuable, if it matters, if WE matter and I need you to know, YOU DO.
YOUR STORY, YOUR VOICE matters.
Which is why it’s so important for you to develop yourself and to be willing to be seen starting small so you can be witnessed in your greatness.
No one starts out on top.
We don’t see the years of failure, crickets, silence, isolation and character development thats required to develop someone into the greatness that we see on the big screens
But I can guarantee every person we admire, look up to, cherish, and celebrate has their own story, their own path, their own journey of the toughest and most trying times where they just kept choosing to show up, make it happen and LEARN again and again until they got it, until they cracked the code.
This is a game between YOU AND YOU. What anyone and everyone else is doing is IRRELEVANT.
UNFOLLOW the people who trigger you, delete the people that make you feel insecure, You have complete control over your environment and what you choose to consume, use that power especially online.
I cannot even begin to tell you the number of leaders I’ve had to delete as friends and even block online because there stuff rubs me the wrong way.
But I’ve learned to turn that anger, frustration and rage into fuel for passion, devotion, commitment to something bigger, something different, something that is my version of better for what I needed.
If we can learn to embrace our own path and remember that there will ALLLWWAYYYYSSSS be people who are further ahead ANNNDD further behind than you, you can find peace in embracing exactly where you are right now on your own path at your own pace.
This isn’t a race.
It’s a marathon, a life long marathon where you get to choose how you enjoy the journey.
Now let’s get real practical as we bring this blog to a close:
- DECIDE who you want to be moving forward. Get clear on the person you are creating and you are developing yourself to be. It’s not just about the thought its about the EVERY DAY SMALL ACTIONS and behaviors aka habits that make you, you.
- Identify what those habits are of the version of you who has, acts and feels the way you want to feel and look at integrating those into your every day.
- Develop the discipline/devotion to DO THE HARD THINGS even when (especially when) “you don’t feel like it” That thing you’ve been avoiding but you know is going to move the needle forward, sit down, do it.
- We can do hard things and it’s in learning to be uncomfortable and embrace the frustration and self doubt that are a NATURAL PART OF THE PROCESS of learning something new that we can start to move so much faster through our growth. Resistance is a natural part of the process, it’s what develops strength, grit and character. Don’t be afraid to suck at something, the more you do it, the better you’ll get.
- Get CLEAR on what you VALUE and what VALUE you have to share. You do not have to be an expert at everything and anything. Just know based on your own unique lived experience where your gifts and unique talents are. Pull from that.
- Sometimes when we’re first starting out this can mean going back to basics, maybe even the most foundational and fundamental components of what we teach or do, that’s not going backwards, it’s the process we need to propel ourselves forward because it helps us to remember how great we are at the foundations that may feel simple and mundane to us but our LIFE CHANGING for others.
- SIMPLIFY give yourself permission to start small and break things down into little pieces. You don’t always have to have the most profound big picture figured out. Value is about someone being able to benefit from what you share, sometimes the smaller wins are way more beneficial than a huge piece. It’s okay if you start with just 1 little thing every single day that builds back your foundation, trust and credibility with what you know.
- Commit yourself to be consistent with sharing. Whatever that looks liek for you, that consistency is not just about developing trust with your audience, it’s developing trust in yourself to know that you can show up even on the days you don’t feel like it. Pick what’s achievable for you to start and slowly work your way up as it gets easier. If that means 1 post a week, start there do it consistently for at least 1-2 months then move up. Don’t set yourself up for failure by trying to go from zero to hero over night. Slow steps compounded over time lead to sustainable success. Keep going.
- Find your community. The people that you align with bother personally and professionally that help you see yourself in a better light and make sure that they have similar values as you. You don’t want to feel like your compromising yourself to try to fit in somewhere you don’t actually want to be.
- VALUES OVER EVERYTHINNNGGG no matter how many followers they have, money they make or cool they seem. If they can’t handle you in your mess, they don’t get you at your best.
- Get yourself a hype squad whether that be your kiddos, partner, friends or fam, or even some strangers online- whoever the people are that make you feel like a million dollaaazz and loving yourself are the ones yu need to be around more often to continue embracing your deeper truth, that you are an incredible human being capable of literally anything
- TAKE OUT THE TRASH- by trash i mean nonsense that leaves you feeling icky, dirty, down or unhappy this could be people, things, or even environment that needs some shifting around. If you’ve been watching trash tv that has you feeling stuck in drama cycles, turn it off, unsubscribe, cancel that netflix plan and find some empowering documentaries that fill you up.
- MAKE A ROUTINE- an empowerment routine you do every day that gets you feeling some type of way. This should be aligned with your identity that you’re stepping into. Remember small steps lead to big changes.
Hopefully you found this helpful and insightful! If so be sure to share it out and save it for when you need the reminders.
See you next time.
Xx
Soph
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