If you’re anywhere inside of the entrepreneurial journey, you’ve experienced the paradox which is attracting clients versus getting clients. It’s the energetics and the intention behind everything that you’re doing, behind the marketing, sales, how you’re having the conversation, and how your mindset is when it comes to clients. Discover how you can move away from feeling manipulative and feeling like you constantly have to be getting clients to transitioning into a higher frequency of operation in your business where your focus is on attracting clients in a way that’s magnetic, not just for you but also for the client.
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The Difference Between Attracting Clients And Getting Clients
We are in the middle of the series of exploring entrepreneurship and business and what we want to share with you is differentiating the difference between getting clients versus attracting clients. If you’re anywhere inside of that entrepreneurial journey, I can guarantee that you’ve experienced this paradox. It’s the energetics, the intention behind everything that you’re doing, behind the marketing, sales, how you’re having the conversation, and how your mindset is when it comes to clients. We want to share with you how you can move away from feeling icky, gross, manipulative, and feeling like you constantly have to be getting clients. Transitioning into a much higher frequency of operation in your business where your focus is, rather on attracting clients in a way that’s magnetic, yummy, delicious, not just for you but also for the client.
I was talking to with one of my friends and I heard myself say a couple of these phrases. I’d say things like, “I don’t know how to get more clients or I don’t know how to convince people to work with me, or where do I find them? How do I get people to pay what I charge?” All of these, it’s implied in saying these things is like, “How do I do people into working with me?” As if I need to go and make them twist their arms. “How do I do that? How do I coerce them into paying my fees?” That’s not how sales go, that’s not marketing, and nobody likes that. It’s like the quote, “Everybody loves to buy, but nobody likes to be sold.” Think about the last time you had someone over sell something to you. If you’ve ever walked down a busy city street and there’s a barker out in front of a store and you’re like, “That’s a cool store.” Someone comes out and goes, “Come here, get in the store, buy that shit.” What is your first instinct going to be other than maybe to grab your rape whistle? It’s going to be to run. When we’re thinking about getting clients and convincing people, that energy is very aggressive and people will respond negatively to it.
[bctt tweet=”When you do things well, a person will tell it to three to five people, but when you do something badly, that person will tell everyone. ” username=””]
People want to be able to come to you because they love you, they’re attracted to what you’re saying or what you’re doing, or they’ve heard about you and heard great things. They want that juicy feeling like, “This is the right move.” Even if it’s expensive and they might be a little scared, they have that amazing feeling of, “No one’s making me do this. I know that this is right for me.” Otherwise, even if they do buy from you, it’s like that used car salesman feeling. The feeling of a buyer’s remorse when the sale was made but they walk away feeling icky and used or manipulated and you don’t want that because, one, they will talk about you and it won’t be good. Two, they’ll never buy again from you. Three, they’ll never refer you. You have that inverse referral. When you do things well, a person will tell it to three to five people, but when you do something badly, that person will tell everyone. It’s not just about this linguistic getting versus attracting. It’s a deep, powerful, and energetic one as well.
A big component is the intention behind what you’re doing. In every action that you take, the micro and the macro actions in your marketing, sales, and social media, and how you’re showing up. Are you speaking from a place of scarcity and manipulation where it’s trying to tell somebody, “You’ve got 24 hours until this is all sold out and it’s going to double?” It’s like, “It’s gross. It doesn’t feel good.” It may work for some people but if you want to create a connection and relationship, that is going to come from a place of illuminating and speaking the truth rather than trying to manipulate people into doing what it is you want them to do, although this may, in times, seem like a slower process for some, the amount of effort that you put into creating connection with your audience.
For instance, if you are somebody who uses social media for building your audience and for creating clients for yourself, your relationship with your audience and how you connect with them, when you connect from a place of trust, gentleness, ease, vulnerability and being somebody who adds value, you’re going to be someone who they’re inspired by and they’re connected to because they feel they know you. Versus, I’m sure many of you have experienced on Facebook before, when you get these ads that are constantly trying to tell you how your life is terrible, how you need what they have, and how this is the only thing that’s going to change your life and if you don’t buy it, you’re going to be making the worst decision ever.
That is where it’s understanding the intention behind how you’re showing up. If you’re showing up from a place of scarcity and feeling like you need to manipulate people and tell them what to do versus a place of abundance where you realize that it’s just about you showing up in your authority and speaking truth, connecting, building relationship, and authenticity with your audience. They are organically going to connect with you and reach out to you over and over again as you consistently show up.
Let’s think about it in a different way. I like to compare business to dating. The manipulative marketer or sales tactician is the guy who goes online and gets a bunch of pickup lines. He buys the book, “Say this one thing and she’ll fall madly in love,” because in his mind, he’s going to go out and he’s going to make a woman fall in love with him. Imagine how that’s going to go down. You see this person in a bar out day-to-day using these lines, but he’s not trying to become a good guy. He’s not trying to have qualities that are attractive. He’s not working out. He’s not working on his mindset. He’s not learning how to tell awesome, funny, or emotional stories. He’s not learning how to connect with people. All he’s got are these manipulative lines out of a book. How long do you think it’s going to take him to find someone who truly loves him, who’s incredible, and wants to spend a lot of time with them? Do you think he’s ever going to using that trash? Why would you ever try that in business ever?
People work hard for the money. I know it’s what you need in order to pay your bills, but it’s the same thing for them. If you come with anything other than authenticity, they’re going to feel that and they’re going to hide their money from you but if you come and you show them that you’re incredible, that you do work on yourself, that you do love them, that you’re willing to be powerful and vulnerable with them, you want to know about them, you want them to feel amazing, you want them to feel special, and you care about helping them and solving their problems, they won’t stop themselves from giving you their credit card number.
They’ll be throwing cash at you because that’s what they want. Like a single person who has been single for a while, may wake up in the morning and think, “How awesome would it be to meet someone at a grocery store or find someone online who’s authentic, awesome, a little weird, silly, funny and wants to know me and make me feel special?” They’re thinking this every day. Finally, they find someone and it feels so good that all they want to do is be with that person. They want to open up and share, spend time and spend money. Isn’t that what you want to do in business? Doesn’t that feel good? Start doing it.
We emphasize this, but more than anything, you experience it on a daily basis. It’s paying attention to who do you want to be? What kind of reputation do you want to have for yourself and your business? Do you want to be known for the person who’s doing these things that don’t feel too great, but for whatever reason are coming from the place that you feel like you need to? If that’s what’s showing up for you now, I’d love to invite you into the possibility that there’s another way. It’s a lot more fun, yummier, and easeful than feeling like you have to do it the other way.
One of the other components of this is inside of that sales conversation. It’s understanding when you’re coming from a place of service. It’s not about selling, it’s about serving. When you’re coming from a place of service, connecting, getting to know your audience, and building an intimate relationship with your audience, that’s where everything transforms. Your audience starts to feel like, “You get me,” when it’s no longer just about you but it’s about them, how they’re showing up, how you can serve them and how you can help them get to the outcome of where they want to get to, when you’re coming from that place, everything is so much smoother because they feel seen and heard. They feel like you’re meeting them.
When you’re talking about relationships, you don’t want to be with somebody who’s always talking about themselves and that’s all they ever do. You want to be with somebody who takes great interest in you, not like every girl or every guy out there, but they take interest specifically in you. They liked the things you like, they feel what you feel, they see where you are, and they meet you. From that place, you start to have more intimate connection with them and you trust them more. It’s the same thing when it comes to attracting clients, coming from that place of connection, authenticity, of being real, seeing them, and being able to show them that you understand them. The more that you do it from a loving place with the right intention, the more that you’re going to start naturally attracting clients on a regular basis versus feeling like you have to go and get clients.
If this is something that you don’t know how to do and you’re like, “I get it. I want to do this, but I have no idea how.” There are products and coaches. Find them. Spend your money on them. It’ll come back to you. Invest in yourself to learn this because there are mechanics behind this. There are tips, techniques, strategies, tools. There are things that you can learn how to do that and will help you open up in your marketing, whether it’s on social media or however else you do it. Find someone who could teach you how to do this, so you have a great example of it. Start following people who do it already.
[bctt tweet=”The more that you do it from a loving place with the right intention, the more that you’re going to start naturally attracting clients. ” username=””]
One of my favorite things to do is erase everybody on my Instagram or my social anywhere and delete anybody I’m following and then find 50, 60 people who are showing up the way that I want to show up. Whenever I go on my Instagram, all I have is other coaches who are authentic and open up in powerful ways, who inspire, who move, who shake and teach. Anytime I’m online and I’m like, “I’ve got another minute or two to spend.” I’m not wasting it looking at random posts from people. I’m learning, I’m studying, I’m growing. You can do that too. You can use social media as an educational tool, not just as a tool to find out what your friends are doing or to see pictures of burritos and dogs.
The task to help you get this whole thing started is to look in the mirror. Take a good long hard look at yourself, slow down, and find out how you’ve been showing up. Look at how you’ve been acting. Look at your sales and marketing behaviors. Look at the words you’ve been using. Look at how you’ve been lately and see which of these behaviors, actions, and words show that you have had getting clients, manipulative out of scarcity kind of mentality and which of those have been out of an attracting abundance mentality.
Once you have that down, start coming up with strategies, action plans that you can take to push all of your actions, words, and thoughts into that amazing, expansive, abundance mentality where you attract people. If they’re the right kind of person, you might even let them work with you. On that note, we will see you on the next episode where we dive into understanding sales and how to have a soulful sales conversation and mastering that sales success. We’ll see you there.
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