Almost all gurus in the world have talked about the power of manifesting. Too often are we told to manifest whatever it is that we want in our lives. However, this great word tends to put some of us in a confusing spot. What does it really mean to manifest? What does the process of manifesting look like? How can we create more in our life through it? Dan Mendilow and Sophie Kessner dedicate this entire episode to give you the answers to those things and more. Here, they take a deep dive into what actual manifestation looks like and how you can become one, breaking the barrier between science and spirituality to help us understand and make sense of this seemingly complicated concept. Find out what it is in the way we think, believe, and hold that allow us to create a reality for ourselves—one that especially serves us more—in this interesting and enlightening conversation.
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The Process Of Manifesting: Creating The Life You Want
We’ve got something juicy for you. Regardless of where you sit on this fence when it comes to this topic, what we want to give you an insight on was understanding a little bit more of the actual mechanics behind what this is. A little bit more of the science, the spirituality, how it comes together and supporting you and being able to become one of the most powerful people inside of this process. That process is manifesting. In this episode, we’re going to be diving deep into what actual manifestation looks like, how to become a manifester, and how to leverage your ability as somebody who wants to be able to create more in your life.
The first thing I want to get into here before we jump into the mechanics of what it is and all that. Let’s get this one out of the way because it can trip people up. It has tripped me up before and it’s the question of science versus spirituality. Manifestation for people who are science-minded can turn a lot of people off because they think, “You’re going to believe in these mysterious forces that cannot be proven and you’re essentially creating your reality inside of your head because that’s what makes you feel comfortable.” You have the spirituality camps who are saying like, “No, this is real.”
Manifestation is a spiritual process in which you align with say the Law of Attraction and a couple of other laws as well. You create something. At least my stance, I don’t know where you sit with this, Sophie. I don’t think either camp is right at all. It is both. When we’re talking about manifestation, you’re making something that does not exist at the moment. Manifesting money, love, a business, a house or whatever. The most effective way is to consider it from both sides, from science and spirituality, from psychology and unseen forces because that gives you a truly rounded view of this. It allows you to create. We’re saying it doesn’t matter whether it’s science or spirituality.
The idea is you want to create something that does not exist at the moment. The best way to go about it is by using all of the tools, all the ways of understanding so that one can complement another one. We’re going to be dipping in and out of science and spirituality almost in the same breath. Be ready for that. It’s not like you have to accept everything we’re saying. It’s not like we’re trying to change your belief systems. However, if you can allow yourself to be truly flexible with this issue, your rate of manifestation, whether you think about it as changing the way you think of something to create it or aligning with another energy in order to attract it, whatever the process is for you, it’ll happen even faster. It will happen even better. The results will be even bigger. Try to be flexible with this conversation as much as you can.
I would say my manifestation is close. For me, it’s more so that everything already exists. It’s more, are we an energetic match for it? The way that I imagine it in my mind is that there are all of these possibilities and realities that are all coexisting all at the same time. We’re living in one of those depending on our energetic state of being. In order to experience a different reality, we have to shift our energetic embodiment to be a match to be able to fit into that reality. When we start getting into this, we can get really metaphysical. The basis of this is understanding that you essentially do experience what you feel at the end of the day.
[bctt tweet=”Manifestation is creating something that does not exist at the moment. ” username=”iamsophiekessner”]
There’s a lot of science behind this because if we get into an idea, and I’m sure you’ve got some studies that you can reference here. What you’re experiencing outside of you is going to be determined by the way that you think, the way that you feel. A lot of the pre-determined pieces that come up from how you’ve been raised and how you’ve grown up in your belief systems about the world. Whether you perceive something a certain way is going to be completely dependent on who you believe you are and how you believe you fit into this world. If we start to shift that component, immediately we start to shift the way that we perceive the world because everything that we’re experiencing is based on perception.
When we’re talking about that, how you can explain manifestation from a scientific, a neuropsychological point of view, to give you an idea of how perception plays into this. Your brain gets bombarded by about thirteen million bits of information every single second. It has to because you can only consciously attend to 217 of it. Your brain has to filter 99.999% of all the information that ever comes into your brain. That’s close to everything. Does it have to figure out what does get through consistently? What gets to your awareness? What do you truly see, hear, experience and what can be junked?
It does that based on who you are, your beliefs of who you are, how life works and what reality is, and also your fears. What are you moving away from? What are you trying to protect yourself from? These are your perceptions. This is who you are. This is the stuff that creates your thoughts. It also could mean that by changing your thoughts and changing your filters, what your unconscious allows into you, allows into awareness. You could go from not seeing something that is right in front of you to see it, which to your awareness makes it feel like it appears out of nowhere.
I went to a jungle in Costa Rica and we thought we’d be able to see a ton of animals. We went to a particular jungle. There are tons of animals there. My brother and I walked around for 6 hours and couldn’t see shit. We didn’t see a thing. We didn’t even hear anything. It was weird. We went there, everybody else fucking left. All the animals got the memo and they were gone. We found a tour guide in front of us and I crept up because I heard it might be English and join the group quickly. I had the guide point something out to me and I saw a little outline. As my mind caught it and my eyes saw it, a sloth appeared on one of the trees.
Because I could see that and I knew what I was looking for then, all of a sudden, I could see other sloths. It felt to my awareness they had appeared out of nowhere. I manifested them. I changed the information that my brain filtered in and filtered out by changing my perceptions. You could do this with literally every other part of your life. There are tons of stuff that you might want that is right in front of you. There might be people who could help you, who are in your life already. The tools and the things that you might be looking for might be there within an arm’s reach. Because of the way that you perceive, they get to lead it from your awareness and they’re invisible. That could be an act of manifestation through psychology.
One of the things that you brought up, and we’ve talked about this plenty in previous episodes, especially in some of the early foundational episodes. The process of deleting generalizing or distorting information. That’s exactly what Dan is talking about. In the process of manifestation, it’s learning how to leverage this process to your ability. Instead of being at effect of the programs that you’ve picked up on over the years, we’re essentially deciding to reprogram ourselves and reprogram the way that we perceive the world and the filters that we use so that we can delete, distort, and generalize information in a way that serves and supports what it is we want to create in this world.
Let’s take another example out of that. Deleting, distorting, and generalizing is a heuristic. It’s a way for your brain to understand information quickly. It’s an important survival trait, but the problem is that what happens if those shortcuts don’t get you to where you want to go? For example, let’s say you have a belief in your head, a generalization from being a kid growing up in your parents’ house and your parents had always told you that you couldn’t afford it, “No, you can’t have that. We don’t have enough money.” We can’t have that. You can’t go to that restaurant. We can’t afford it.
You grow up with this generalization inside of your mind, “I never have enough money. I can’t afford what I want,” and that becomes a part of your reality. Because of the way that your brain works and go back, dig into the first ten episodes if you want to get that our foundational toolkit. You can get a lot of information, a real deep understanding of how beliefs work, content realizations like Sophie was saying. The first ten episodes will teach you all of that shit. Let’s say you have this belief or this generalization inside of your mind.
[bctt tweet=”Everything that we’re experiencing is based on perception. ” username=”iamsophiekessner”]
As an adult, your decisions, your choices, your perceptions, your actions, whether you are aware of them or not, will be born of the understanding. The fact in your mind that you will never have enough money and you can’t afford anything you want. That will change your relationship with money. It might even lead you to make mistakes with money or not earning enough, not trying enough, not being open enough to receive money because in your mind you’ll never have it. Your brain creates that, your beliefs are self-fulfilling prophecies. All of a sudden, you’re an adult with this unconscious generalization and all you know is you still don’t have enough money.
If you change that belief, you’re going to change all your decisions, your behaviors and what you’re aware of. Your generalization will vanish. If you even go so far as to replace it with the belief that the universe takes care of you or you will have enough money or the money is always growing. Whatever jives with you and your behaviors come from there, all a sudden, your decisions and your behaviors will lead you to had even more money or receiving even more money or attracting people who will pay you even more money. That feels like manifestation. All of a sudden, more money. What is it a manipulation of how your brain works?
I want to drop in here because this is an important piece because a lot of times, Dan, I’m sure you’ve experienced this in the past where you’ll have people come in and say, “I believe in it. I’m affirming every single day that I can make $1 million,” and all of this stuff, yet they stay stuck or are the opposite. They create even worse situations for themselves. This is where we get a little bit more into the energetics and the embodiment of this because the process of stepping into a different reality means that both your head and your body have to be in that experience. A lot of the times what we end up seeing is we’ll be in our heads trying to change our beliefs, but if our emotional capacity isn’t at the place to where it can receive and perceive that new reality, we’re not able to experience it. What I mean when I say this is if you are living in this place where you’ve been feeling the sense of unworthiness, undeservedness, you’re not enough, it’s not possible, but you’re believing.
You’re trying to reaffirm that money comes to me in all these awesome ways and that I’m abundant. Internally in your body, you don’t feel that way, and then what you’re experiencing is this massive sense of dissonance and distrust. Not only are you not cultivating what it is you want to cultivate, but it’s creating more and more fear around like, “This isn’t possible for me because you’re continuing to perpetuate that self-fulfilling prophecy of you feeling unworthy and undeserving.” This is the work where we have to reprogram the way that we’re perceiving and shifting the way that we’re manipulating the world through our minds. Also, we have to go into the energetics of the body and make sure that the body is also congruent with what it is we’re trying to create in mind.
Remember that your consciousness comes from your brain and we know that. It creates a particular set of neurotransmitters. Neurotransmitters are the molecules of thought essentially. Your brain creates a very special neurotransmitter that you can hear. Every single organ in your body creates neurotransmitters. Between your gut and your heart, those two organs produce more neurotransmitters in your brain ever could. Those are two parts of you. Your skin even creates neurotransmitters.
Every part of you, your whole body creates thought. This is your unconscious. This forms 94% of your identity, your thoughts, your feelings, your energy, all of you. Another way what Sophie’s saying is that it’s not enough to have your brain on board and your consciousness on board. You need all of you onboard, your consciousness, your unconsciousness. Your mind and your body, all of you, because that is how you create a reality for yourself. Before then half asking it. That’s why you get half-fast results if you’re doing it.
What we want to explore next is how do we start to shift these pieces so that you can become in a match for what it is you want to create. One of the things that I love diving into is having clarity on what it is you want to create. That’s the first piece that a lot of us struggle with, we say, “I want this.” We’re general about what we’re asking for. We have to start to get a little bit more intentional about what it is that we’re calling in and more importantly, how that experience will feel in the body.
I love that you brought that up, Sophie, the whole idea of being clear. These concepts seem to be much more accepted or even known in the dating sphere than anything else. In dating, it seems easy. You can’t go out and say, “I want a man.” Any kind at all? Are you sure? Go ahead and get yourself a man. We don’t do that shit. “I want food.” What kind of food? “Any kind of food.” I’ve never heard that. “I want this,” or “I don’t want this.” The more specific you can get, the more dialed in you can become. When you get specific, you can get into what Sophie is talking about feeling what it would be like. Because receiving $5 would have different physical, mental, and emotional reality for you than receiving $5 million. It’s the same thing in dating. When you meet the one versus some schmuck. It’s a different experience. It’s important for you to know what it feels like. That’s also important for another reason as well when you can get clear on what you want and how it’ll feel. What it’ll look, smell, taste, feel like, all of these things.
[bctt tweet=”Your beliefs are self-fulfilling prophecies. ” username=”iamsophiekessner”]
You can make it incredibly real inside of your mind and the brain that cannot tell the difference between what is experienced and actively imagined will start creating whatever it thinks is real. You’ve done this many times. Usually, our experience of it is going home or taking a shower and thinking of some shit, some person is going to say to you. You get into a fight with them in your mind, “I’m going to say this.” “He’s going to say that.” You feel yourself getting riled up. Your body is already responding to a reality you’ve created inside of your mind and you’re getting an emotional response and a physical response because your brain thinks it’s real. When you go see that person, how hard is it to not get in that fight? You have to actively try to go away from that reality that you created in your mind. That’s the same thing that happens with anything else you’re trying to manifest. If you can get clear, if you know how it feels, if you can get your brain to think it is real, it will begin pushing you in that direction through your decisions, your actions, and behaviors.
One of the pieces we want to dive into here that I’d love to emphasize is that everything that you create is a byproduct of who you’re being. Oftentimes, what you’re currently experiencing is a reflection of who you’ve been, not who you are. We have to understand a lot of what we’re talking about here is you don’t exactly get what you want, you get what you are. If you want something different, you have to become somebody different. This isn’t the process or the act of doing it one time and feeling great one time for five minutes. This is the act of embodying this every single day until you literally don’t know anything else.
I’m going to read this dating analogy until the wheels fall off. What Sophie is talking about is nice to want an attractive partner who works out, eats healthy, does all these active things and has a rocking body. It’s going to be hard for you if you aren’t that way. It’s very hard for someone who never works out to attract someone who always works out. It doesn’t seem to work. It’s the same thing in business or whatever you’re trying to manifest. If you’re trying to manifest clients who spend a lot of money on coaches, Sophie and I are coaches. Before we started, we were talking about the programs that we’re investing in because that is part of us being the people we want to attract. Lining up with that, attracting through who we are. We are the kind of people who spend an extraordinary amount of money on ourselves.
We like spending money on qualified coaches. We make our decisions relatively quickly with that so there is no dawdling. We trust her intuitions. I’m about to spend about $20,000 on coaching again. Some of it is going to be an experiment. I’m picking coaches because this is something that I haven’t learned yet and I want to expand, not because it’s comfortable. It’s exactly the opposite because it’s uncomfortable. That helps me manifest clients who will do the same thing with me. Who will hire me based on their intuition, spend because I’m not cheap and are willing to do things with me that make them uncomfortable because it helps them grow? It helps them expand. That’s one example of how it works. When you know what you want to attract, be that thing and you’ll attract it even faster.
This brings into a little bit of an interesting topic in the process of manifestation where a lot of times you’ll hear the term of, “I feel blocked,” or “I feel like there’s resistance,” or, “I can’t seem to get what I’m trying to create.” A lot of the times, the big way that this will show up is it’s like I don’t know how it would feel. I can’t seem to get myself to a moat in that way. When we’re getting into the process of emotionality, and this is what we were talking a little bit about in a previous episode of expanding your emotional capacity to experience a more broadened depth of emotion. Whether that be in your lows or whether that also be in your highs, one of the things that we’ll see is a lot of times in this work people are coming with a lot of symptoms. This is what’s coming up for me and this is what this looks like, but oftentimes the symptom that you’re experiencing is the cause. When we’re getting into the emotionality of it, we have to look at you’re probably experiencing a sense of frustration or feeling stressed out. What’s underneath that? The core factor that’s contributing to what it is that you’re feeling because when we can get to the roots of what it is you’re experiencing, we can process and heal everything else that’s attached to that.
It’s a lot of work that I do with clients as well. If you checked out any of my marketing or any of the stuff that I talk about online, you’d see that I speak a lot about growing your business. However, I am not a business coach. In fact, the mechanics of business are something that I’m learning actively because I never have. How is it that I can help people make millions of dollars in a matter of weeks without ever talking about business? It’s because when someone comes to me and they say, “Dan, I’m not getting the clients. This isn’t working.” That is their symptom. That’s the top level.
What most people will do is they say, “I’m not attracting clients in so it must be my marketing. I’m going to go learn copy or I’m going to learn ads or whatever there to learn.” That might fix it, however, it might not. That can be incredibly frustrating for people. They can go to three business coaches and no difference. Nothing has changed. Are they terrible coaches? Are you a terrible student? That’s where people get screwed up. It’s like, “It’s never going to happen to me. Is there something wrong with me that I can’t learn that?” It’s none of those.
Maybe the issue is that on an emotional basis, they feel like they’re ill-equipped to teach these people that they’re trying to reach. Maybe they have the impostor syndrome going on inside of them. Maybe they have a confidence issue or a story. That even though they might not be aware of it shows itself through their copy. Their audience is reading it and they’re feeling, “This person is not sure of themselves. This person is not hitting me the way I want to be hit.” They’re not feeling compelled to reach out or their offers don’t do anything. It’s not because of the symptom you’ll be prepared to dig and find that what you see, as a result, might be different in form and function than the thing that is creating the result itself.
[bctt tweet=”The more specific you can get, the more dialed in you can become. ” username=”iamsophiekessner”]
It’s fun because we love to try to project what it is that we want to work on. I’ll use the example of businesses. A lot of people are like, “It’s the strategy. I need a more potent strategy.” They’ll go and they’ll hire all of these mentors who’ve had incredible success, built incredible companies and they’ve had a lot of results with other people. They go in and they work with them. They’re not able to get the same results. It’s always one of the things that like I’ve been so curious about, especially in the last few years, of what is that differentiating factor between the person who invests in the same exact method, but one of them is able to get incredible results while the other one is still struggling to get off the ground.
Almost 99% of the time, it comes down to the energetic embodiment of the person executing because everything you do again is a byproduct of who you are. You can only create to the capacity of what you first developed yourself, which means that if you want to be able to create something for you to experience this new reality where you are more abundance, more fulfilled, more excited and love blissed-out, then you have to become the person capable of creating that. The mistake that a lot of people make is that they want to start with the execution and the action. They’re sitting here forcing, struggling, hustling, pushing from this place of feeling unworthy, undeserving, not enough, whatever the underlying emotionality is beneath that, and it becomes exhausting.
It takes more effort, time, energy, and they have to put in all of this to try to get to move the needle a little bit, whereas this other person makes it look easy. They’re showing up and they’re magnetic. I know for those of you reading, you can think of perfect examples of this and maybe you find yourself in one of these examples where there’s that person who seems to make it look so effortless. A big part of this is recognizing that it’s so much less about what they’re doing and it’s so much more about how they are doing it, the person that they’re being behind it similar to the metaphor that Dan was using when he was talking about coffee. It’s little about the actual words you write and much more about the energy behind that.
You have to take the time to slow down and check yourself of am I living in alignment with what it is I’m trying to call it and what it is I’m trying to create? Because me sitting here and trying to create, execute, action from a place of frustration, lack, exhaustion is pushing me backward versus pushing me forward. The best thing that you can do in these processes of manifestation is focusing on your energetic alignment. Focusing on your embodiment, emotionality, and making sure that you’re coming from a place of pure enjoyment, pleasure, and fun of these emotions that exist inside of that reality that you’re trying to create.
To give you another way to think about this as well, another analogy, in case you need it or it could help. For me, when I was super depressed and trying to get my dating life going because that’s what I wanted, I wanted companionship. It was very hard. The attraction game was a wreck. It was a mess for me. I did the dating version of going out to get strategies. I read books. I got programs on what to say and when to say it. This is how you do this and that. This is where you sit and this is how you do eye contact. None of that shit worked. It was because who wants to go on a date with an incredibly depressed person who can’t enjoy himself at all?
It doesn’t matter what I would say because the meaning of what I was saying was different than what I was saying. I might be saying, “My name is Dan,” but what other people heard was, “I’m a depressed wreck and I’m going to make you miserable if you hang out with me.” That’s not a great way to attract a date. That’s not how you manifest love if we’re going to still talk about manifestation. Like Sophie is saying, you can feel that. It does not matter. When I started working on myself and how I was being, I realized that it almost didn’t matter what I said.
I was concerned about saying the perfect thing at the perfect time and the perfect way to get the perfect result. When I started doing real deep personal development work, I gave all that up and realized that it wasn’t about what I said. If I could feel in the right way, show up in the right way and treat myself in the right way, I can say the silliest shit imaginable and it’s still attractive. The same thing can happen when you’re doing any other manifestation, whether it’s a strategy or to get your business going or you’re trying to manifest health or whatever you’re trying to do, the same thing applies.
I hope that you are starting to see here that the process of manifestation is simple, but it does require a little bit of work in the process. It’s less about the action and it’s more about the energy behind the action. I want to emphasize this because a misconception that oftentimes comes up is, we go into manifesting and we think, “I need to think about it and feel great,” but not execute. The final piece of this is taking aligned action. Meaning that you are moving forward towards what it is that you want to cultivate and what you want to create. Trusting that process, trusting that timeline and not being derailed if it’s taking longer than you expected. What this means is that you have to continuously maintain this frequency, this state of being for an extended period until you fully merge into this new reality that you want to create for yourself.
[bctt tweet=”Oftentimes, what you’re currently experiencing is a reflection of who you’ve been, not who you are. ” username=”iamsophiekessner”]
Sometimes that may not look like the timeframe that you projected, which is where we have to be a little bit cautious about becoming disappointed or attached to our manifestations and what we’re trying to create and recognize that the best metaphor and phrase that you can do is it’s always going to be this or better. If the universe isn’t giving you exactly what you want, it probably has something even better in store for you. You don’t know what that is yet. To continue to trust that process, continue to trust that timeline, continue to live in integrity and in alignment with whom it is that you want to be that can cultivate the reality that you want to experience and know that it’s coming.
None of us can see the future. We have our predictions. We have what we’d like, but we don’t know. We’re still toddlers in the eyes of the universe. How many times have you seen where a little kid wants something and it’s not happening? It’s like a toddler wants a candy bar. Mom says, “No.” Toddler throws a fit. The toddler thinks he is not going ever to have that candy bar, “I never got what I want.” Whatever it is these complaints that by the way, we hear adults say as well. You see the toddler and see the mom. Mom prepares this nutritious meal given the toddler what it needs in order to feel strong, healthy, and grow. At the end of the meal, they get the candy bar also. The only thing is when they originally did not get the candy bar, they didn’t see the future. They had no idea what was coming. They couldn’t tell that’s something even better was showing their way.
They only saw that they didn’t get what they wanted when they wanted it in the way that they wanted it and they freaked out. If we can allow ourselves to be patient, to know that maybe not getting what you want is getting you what you want in the next moment. The fact that you can’t see it does not make it not happening. The fact that you can’t tell the future does not stop the future from happening. The fact that you can’t see those beautiful things headed your way does not mean that they are not headed your way. Be patient, allow things to unfold and be open to the idea that maybe it’s okay to be surprised by beautiful things in life and maybe you don’t need to see how things are going to unfold. Maybe it’s all right that things aren’t happening the way you want them because they could turn out even better than you could have ever expected.
[bctt tweet=”If the universe isn’t giving you exactly what you want, it probably has something even better in store for you. ” username=”iamsophiekessner”]
All that being said, if you enjoyed this episode, put in that post and let us know inside of the iTunes app and give us the five stars if that felt good for you. Otherwise, if there’s somebody that you know that could use a little support in their manifestation process, go ahead and send them this episode. Share it with them either on social or send them a message. Let them know about it and in that, you can spread the word out.
Thank you in advance for that. Lots of love.
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