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EP #10: Take the Red Pill: Redesigning Your Perception Of Reality

MMM 010 | Perception Of Reality

The age old question that has plagued mankind since the ancient greeks: What is reality? People often say perception is reality, but have you ever wondered what creates those perceptions? We all have different interpretations of reality, and we can consciously create that by listening to our subconscious. Our brain filters massive amounts of information and we respond to it based on our values and core beliefs. Explore why you see your life the way you do and what you can do to redesign that.

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Take the Red Pill: Redesigning Your Perception Of Reality

We get into the next in the progression of understanding how you create the reality around you. Why you’ve been getting the results that you’ve been getting in your life? Why things have been going this way? Why do you behave this way even though sometimes you tell yourself you don’t want to? This all comes from that one statement we all know, perception is reality. A lot of people just stop there. They’ll say your perception is reality, but people just don’t even question, “What is your perception? How does it create your reality? What are the mechanics there?” What’s important in that is that once you know the mechanics and you know what your perception is, then you gain the ability to change it. That’s where all the fun happens.

This is going to be such a fun episode. It’s going to be interesting, understanding the beauty of this concept, how much of what you think influences you experienced in the world.

What we experience is not reality itself. We talked about the unconscious mind in episode three. We talked about emotions and how they frame a reality in episode four. Then when we start talking about beliefs and how they affect everything in episode eight. It is all about what you believe about yourself and all the different components that add into your identity, which then sculpt your experience of reality. What you have called ‘reality’ isn’t, and we’re all in our own little unique realities. It’s very possible that there isn’t and will never be another person ever on this planet who was in the same reality you are.

It really is an understanding and giving you some simple frameworks. Some people seem so diluted. How is it that they can be so happy and see everything? Are they neurotic? It really is understanding that that is what they are creating for themselves. The people that tend to create this idea that they have all of these diseases, hypochondriacs, start to believe that they’re so sick and that they are in so much pain, when physically there’s nothing wrong with them. They believe it so wholeheartedly that if you were to measure what’s happening on the brain scan, you would start to see what’s happening in the brain is activating the parasympathetic nervous system.

A hypochondriac is a person who gives themselves their own nocebo, which we covered in episode eight. It’s all about beliefs, where they believe in something so much that it starts changing the chemistry inside of their bodies and they actually create the condition. Have you ever been this person or seen a person who started to sneeze or sniffle or maybe get a little tickle in the back of their throat and go, “I’m getting sick. I know I’m going to get sick. I’m definitely going to get sick,” and then they get sick. Even though all they did was sneeze once. They got a little cough, no big deal. On the other side, the opposite of hypochondriac is someone like me, I just don’t get sick.

People ask, “You don’t get sick because you believe you don’t get sick or you don’t get sick because you actually don’t get sick?” I can’t answer that question. I don’t know what came first. I choose to believe that I just don’t get sick. I used to, and when I got sick it was horrible. I would get bronchitis or pneumonia. I’d be down for a whole month. After a little while I got sick of that, and I just kept on telling myself, “I don’t get sick.”When I would start to get sick, it would surprise me, “This can’t happen, this doesn’t happen.” I start sneezing and start feeling lousy, “This is not me,” then it would turn around and go away. Your beliefs, what you expect to happen is probably going to. You see how all these different things can contribute to your experience.

I want to get into a recap of a few of the major components of how things work. We did cover this when we were talking about the unconscious mind, is that it deletes, it distorts, and it generalizes information in order for you to make sense of all this random data. The reality around you seems to makes sense. You can make sense of objects. You can hear things coming from different directions. You can see things or people moving.

There are discrete items around you and it seems that it makes sense. You can tell what’s going on, but that’s not what the universe looks like. The universe is much closer to random static than anything else. It’s just loads of information, and in order to make sense of it, your brain has to filter it and then deletes stuff. As we’re going back to the issue of beliefs, many just don’t believe this is possible. I don’t believe that it’s real, and so we just delete it. Sometimes we distort it, so that we look at something and we fit what we experience into the boxes of our beliefs.

[Tweet “We can distort information. We can also distort things positively. That’s what hopeless optimist do. “]

This is the way that the world works in our own minds, so whatever we see, it’s got to fit that. Even if we need to scoot things around a little bit, we need to adjust things. If someone has a belief that all men are evil or scummy pigs, and then you have a guy coming up and saying, “You have beautiful eyes,” you can take that information and distort it. “I’ll tear your motives. He wants something. Is he making fun of me? Does he actually mean that I have ugly eyes and this is his way of poking fun?” We can distort information. We can also distort things positively. That’s what hopeless optimist do. My parents will tell me all the time that I’m just optimistic.

When I tell them about all the things that are happening in my life, even things that are total long shots in business, I think, “No problem, this is what I’m going to do.” Maybe I am distorting things. Maybe I believe that I can do anything. I believe that I’m going to be successful. It might not be today or tomorrow, but I’m going to be successful. When I see information, maybe it is possible and I distort it upwards. I turn it into an even better situation than it is because it fits in with my beliefs.

The last one is generalization, in which we clump information and we fit things into larger categories. That helps us overlook details, whether that is used for good or bad or whether that helps us or hurts us. We can smooth out the details and unique features of items or experiences in order to fit in with everything else. It’s like looking at a bookshelf filled with books. Instead of seeing, “This book is a little worn,” or “This book is brand new,” or “This book has something really interesting in the title,” it’s all just books. We can’t tell the difference between either one of them or anything in there.

That is Episode 3 on the unconscious mind when we go all in on really understanding how it works. As we start to talk more about the perception of reality and what reality is, the last piece that we want to bring up mentioned again is how we process the information coming in. There’s about 2 to 4 million bits of information coming into our unconscious mind every single second, but consciously, we can only process between 134 to 136 bits of information per second. That is a minuscule piece of what is outside of us. Your eyes are seeing everything in reverse. What’s coming in is being reflected in the back, and it’s having to be rotated and distorted so that your brain can process it the way that it actually appears.

When you think about how incredibly intuitive and how intelligent the human brain and our whole system is, it’s incredible to think that, “Is this really what it is out here? Is it something so much more? How much influence do we have over what we are experiencing outside of us?” Tying this into previous episodes where we talked about emotions, identity beliefs, and how each one of those influences and impacts the reality that you then experience. Joe Dispenza’s quote that we will use time and time again is that, “Your personality creates your personal reality.”As we start to dive into who you believe you are and how that creates the reality that you experience outside of you, the question then is, “How do we change your experience of reality if we first need to change who you believe you are?”

We have an idea of how information comes into the brain. Perception is reality. That is assuming that we don’t respond to the event, the event being the information coming into our brain after it’s been filtered. We don’t respond to that information. What we do is we give it meaning, and then we respond to that. We can see here that even after our brain does all this amazing work, that’s still not what we actually perceive. It’s not what we respond to. It’s not what we act on. That is also incomplete, but we respond to. The reality that we create for ourselves is based off of the beliefs that are triggered by the meanings that we give to the events that we process.

MMM 010 | Perception Of Reality
Perception Of Reality: The reality that we create for ourselves is based off of the beliefs that are triggered by the meanings that we give to the events that we process.

Let’s say there’s a real estate agent door-knocking. That means they’re going door-to-door, knocking on stranger’s homes to talk to them about selling or buying a home. Let’s say Mr. Real Estate Agent knocks on a door and another guy opens the door. He sees the real estate agent and yells at him, “Who are you? What are you doing? Get out of here,” and slams the door to his face. That’s the event. The real estate agent takes in this information and his brain does all the computations, does all the distortion, deletion, generalization, and then it gives it meaning, which is, “He rejected me.” That’s not what might not have happened there.

There’s so many things that could have happened there, but the meaning is, “He rejected me.” Some alternate meaning can be, “This guy is just having a bad day. This guy’s just in a terrible mood. Maybe he just found out that his wife is cheating on him, who knows.” That is not enough to get the real estate agent to respond either way because if the real estate agent has a belief of, “I’m amazing and everybody wants to talk to me. I’ve got a lot of information to share, some stuff to give this person,” then the meaning of, “He rejected me,” that must mean.“That guy’s a fool. He has no idea what he just said ‘no’ to. I’ll go to the next house and I’ll share my gifts with them.”

If there’s a belief of, “I’m not good enough,” or, “I’ll never be successful,” then the meaning of, “He rejected me” could be, “Maybe I’m not really good enough.” We were talking about in the previous episodes about gathering evidence to support our beliefs, then this event could be part of that evidence and could slam the belief right into the real estate agent’s face and shut him down for the whole day, and maybe even the whole week depending on how important that belief is. It’s the beliefs that we have or maybe the self-image that we’ve got that are triggered by our perceptions of the events and that creates our reality.

What you’ll start to uncover how much who we believe we are and the meaning that we give to the events and the circumstances in our lives really does influence and impact how we experience the world. I love this concept of how we are triggered and how when something happens, it triggers something within us based off of our current identity, of who we believe that we are. I want to talk about possibility and what people say, “That’s not possible in the reality. You can’t do that. It’s not possible to make that much money or achieve that kind of lifestyle of have that kind of body.”The self-image, the beliefs that somebody has about themselves, it almost sets a limit on what their potential or their possibility is.

The strongest force in the human personality is to be congruent with who you believe you are. If you have this belief that, “I am this person, I am this way, this is all I can account to,” the reality that you will create for yourself will be a direct reflection of what it is you believe is possible for you because you will not accept anything that is not within your beliefs. This is understanding for the individuals who want to experience this level of life. When you start to think about whether or not you can experience, “Is your current identity or your belief of yourself or your self-image congruent and accepting of that possibility and of that reality? Is that real for you? Is it something that maybe could have happen, but you don’t really believe it to be true?”

There was a study done with people who believe that they were lucky and unlucky. For the purpose of this study, unlucky people believe that the universe conspired against them. Lucky people believed that the universe conspired for them. It was a task inside this study where they were given a magazine and they were told to count the number of pictures inside the magazine as quickly as they could. If they could get the right number of pictures in the right amount of time, they would win a cash prize. What they found was that the people who believed that they were unlucky got the correct answer, but an average of two and a half minutes slower than the group that believed that they were lucky.

Here’s the things that stands out. On one of the pages in the magazine was a tiny little square that said, “Stop the experiment. There are 42 pictures in this magazine. Go tell the experimenter and pick up an extra $50.” Guess who never saw it? The group who thought that they were unlucky. It was totally out of the realm of possibility for them that something awesome like that could ever really happen to them. Is it really possible that all of the people in the group that believed that they were unlucky didn’t see that page? That very unlucky person somehow skipped over that page? Not really. What’s likely is that it was so far out of the realm of possibility that their brains just deleted it. It just took it right out. They didn’t even perceive it.

That raises the question, “What amazing things are we not seeing that are right in front of us? What are we choosing based off of who we are and based off of what we believe about our lives? What are we choosing to focus on? What are we allowing ourselves to experience, and what are we completely deleting from our experience?”

The analogy that I like to use with a lot of clients is understanding that your current reality is a reflection of your past personality. It takes some time for the external environment to reflect these shifts or the changes in your internal environment. There’s a time delay between the inner and the outer world. It’s understanding that as you start to shift internally, and you start to create this possibility, experience it, feel it, really embody who it is you believe you are, you start to slowly shift and change. You start to change the possibility of the reality outside of you.

As you start to let go of the hard-wired belief of who you are and the limitations of that identity, you start to step into becoming more energy. You start to vibrate at a higher frequency. As your vibration starts to rise higher and higher, just like if you were to look at ice. Ice is wherein the molecules are moving so slow that they become solid. As a molecule starts to vibrate at a higher and higher frequency, it turns into water where they’re more lose. Then it turns into mist and steam. It’s the similar concept as with our energy. As we start vibrate at a higher frequency, we start to step into these emotions of love, of gratitude, of bliss, of freedom, of joy.

[Tweet “Your current reality is a reflection of your past personality. “]

We start to vibrate at a higher frequency where we can have an effect on the matter around us. Whereas for a lot of people, they will be so concrete in who they believe they are and the limitations of that identity, that they go and try to force and create and make way for what they want to create. It’s just so much work. Whereas the person that’s living in this realm of possibility, this realm of infinite potential of who they really are and who they can be, it becomes effortless. Doors start to open up. They start to see more possibility. They believe that the universe is conspiring for them, so they start to see the things that when we’re stuck in a concrete way of viewing the world, we miss it. This is the beauty of becoming aware what is the reality that you’re currently experiencing, and what up until this point has been the personality that you’ve been living from or believing in that’s created this reality for you.

If you read A Course Of Miracles, there’s an exercise in it in which you start breaking your perception. In this they’ll say all the objects around you, all the things that you perceive to be what they perceive, you’ve given them meaning. The table that my laptop is on, that’s only a table because I have chosen it’s a table. I have given it the meaning of a table, and so I respond to it based on that, but it doesn’t have to be a table. If I was an alien and I came to look at it, maybe I think it’s a bed or it’s a car that doesn’t work or it’s a broken fridge or it’s another me, depending on what I look like. It could be anything.

A painting is only a painting because you make it so. Everything in life is only what it is because you make it so, and you make it so based out of your beliefs, the emotions that you’re experiencing at the time, and the vibrational level that you’re at. We give things meaning, and then we respond to them as if that’s what they really are. What if I didn’t do that? What if I looked around and said, “I gave that meaning. What if I gave it a different meaning? What if I change the definition of table and this is no longer a table to me?” I start responding to it as if it wasn’t.

Think about kids when they’re two, three, four, or five years old. I’ve had the incredible privilege and opportunity of growing up in home preschool, so I spent a lot of my lifetime around little people. What’s so beautiful is without instruction, without being told what to do or how to think, these kids will take anything. Lego’s, sticks, phones, rocks and create this incredible story about what it is and start to play with it. The kids I was hanging out with, they were taking toy phones and pretending that they were guns and that they were on a mission, that they were going through this crazy thing and they were all interacting and experiencing it that way. It was so real for them. That is a part of every single one of us. Somewhere along the lines, we have disconnected from that imaginative and creative side, which enables us to start to see the new potential and possibility where we can say what could be something else and really starting to give ourselves permission to play, and to experience more than just what is in this reality.

I remember when I quit my aerospace job and went and did business for myself. Talk about a perceptual shift. Everything in my world just changed overnight. I didn’t even know that it was possible for me. I kept myself stuck in a job that I didn’t like. I lost my job because I gave it away. I gave it away because my perception started shifting of what my job was, what my life was, and who I was. My reality started changing, and I stepped into a world in which I would do things and be confronted with new daunting obstacles. Creating a business and a website, all of a sudden, I have to have a social media presence and headshots, all of these things that were never in my perception that all. All of a sudden, they’re flat on my face and I had to deal with them.

We can change the way we think about everything. It doesn’t need to be such a drastic movement. It has happened to you so many times before where your perception will just shift. You’ll learn something and it’s like the whole world is different. The whole idea here is to understand how you create your perception, knowing that it’s one out of a whole endless menu, and understanding that yours is the one that you’ve chosen. It’s not the only reality. You can shift it. It seems like when we become adults, our perceptions become rigid. It’s almost like they scar over, but it doesn’t have to be a permanent thing. You can shift things. You don’t need to move to a different country. You don’t need to quit your job, you don’t need to get a divorce or get married in order to feel it.

It starts off by recognizing that you can do it, even with simple things. It starts with questioning. Also your triggers. What sets you off to happiness or unhappiness, knowing that it’s something within you? I love it when someone cooks for me. Is it because of the food creating a chemical cascade in my body? Maybe, but I get happy before that. It’s not the event itself. It’s something that in my perception of that event that makes me feel warm. I know there’s a trigger in me that’s creating this perception of the event itself. It’s important to question them and to see whether your perceptions are guiding you to a life that you want or life that you don’t and knowing that it can be changed and knowing that is purely internal. Just being aware of it can lead you to changing it on the spot. Just being aware that even if you don’t change it right there, it gives you the idea that you can change it, and that’s so important.

This idea of how as we get older we become more rigid, if you think about the way that people evolve from early childhood up until they’re adults in their late 20s and early 30s, what starts to happen in between that timeframe where we go from saying, “Who am I? What am I all about? We’re so much more emotional when we’re children.” As we get older, we learn all of these ways to behave, all of these ways to facilitate our lives, how we’re supposed to do things in the world, what we’re supposed to say, how we’re supposed to experience it, and what is accepted by the people that we value in our lives. As we talk about this concept of programs where we started to run these unconscious programs because we’ve conditioned ourselves to believe that I am this person that has this life, that does this job, that lives this way, and every single day, we run that same program over and over again. 30 or 40 years later, we are so convinced that this is who we are and it’s what we’ve been conditioning.

Ironically, when you were a child, you were able to step into that imagined mind and be able to create anything that you wanted to be. It’s that idea that it’s giving yourself permission to understand that what you’re currently experiencing doesn’t mean it’s necessarily who you are, and you can start to shift and change who it is you want to be and how you want to experience the world, and giving yourself permission to become more fluid in your thinking. You have been experiencing the world this way for a period of time, but what would happen if it changes? What would happen if something were to completely shake your world? It is this idea that as we get older, we become so busy and so rigid in our thinking that life has to go the way we plan, that if something were to happen that is outside of our routine and outside of the way that we were expecting it to be, we call it a problem and an inconvenience.

MMM 010 | Perception Of Reality
Perception Of Reality: If something were to happen that is outside of our routine and outside of the way that we were expecting it to be, we call it a problem and an inconvenience.

It’s an opportunity and a possibility that’s shaking us and trying to wake up that imaginative child to say, “Get creative. Play with it. Have fun. Experience.” What else is possible? What else could this mean? What’s the gift in this? You can start to get out that habitual thinking, you can start to get out of that box that you’ve been living in, and you can start to really step into this whole realm of possibility and of opportunity where you can start to create for yourself what it is you want to experience.

Part of that creative process is your focus. What are you focusing on? You understand that whatever you focus on gets larger. Wherever your focus goes, your energy goes as well. You’ve got to understand that whatever’s in your focus becomes your reality. It’s almost like you invited into your world. Those are the things that exist, and things that are out of your focus don’t exist anymore. Whatever we seek, we shall find, and whatever your focus is on, you’re going to create for yourself. Those are the things you’re going to remember. Those are the things you’re going to see.

When we’re used to focusing on the same things over and over again, we start to believe that that’s all there is, because that’s all we’ve ever seen and it’s easy to get rigid like that. Oddly enough, that’s why a lot of adults love taking drugs, because they get to see cool things and to experience cool things that in our daily life we’ve chosen over and over to not focus on. By changing your focus, you can get into that creative pattern. You can start redefining your perception. That is how you can start breaking these lifelong patterns of focusing on things. Break off those scars and that scabbing over your creativity, and allow you to start seeing life in a different way.

It brought up the double slit experiment, and really understanding how particles act. When we’re trying to measure atoms or particles, we can’t necessarily measure them. When they’re doing the slit experiment, they have one slit and what they do is they shoot out all the particles through the slit and onto the screen. They go and they measure it and it’s a straight line. Then what they do is they go ahead, and they add two slits. They start to shoot one through one, and one through together. As they’re shooting the particles through these slits, they’re expecting to see two straight lines, but they don’t.

When they go and look at it, they start to see that instead of acting like particles, it looks like these particles are actually moving like waves, and they’re showing up differently. Instead of the straight lines, they’re showing up more spontaneously. They went to go and measure to see which slit is the particle going to go through. When they went to go and observe and measure which slit the particle was going through, the particles started to perform like particles again. They went, and they acted, and they created two slits on the other side. The act of measuring the particle changed its behavior.

[Tweet “When we observe something, when we put our focus into it or our attention into it, it affects the way it behaves. “]

The whole concept of putting your focus and your attention onto something affects the way it behaves. If we can understand that all reality, all that we are, is particles of matter and energy, when we observe something, when we put our focus into it or our attention into it, it affects the way it behaves. If I am focusing on creating this reality and this is what I am expecting to see, I’m going to see it, because that is what I am creating. If you go into the world of quantum, the idea that all possibilities are there. That the atom and the particle exist in every single area, it goes in and out all at once. The minute that you focus on it is when it becomes concrete in that one place where you’re focusing. It’s really understanding that your attention, your focus, and where you’re putting that energy is literally creating and affecting the behavior of the particles and atoms of everything that makes up who we are in the world around us, how powerful this really is when it comes to creating the reality that you want to experience.

Pick one thing that you’d like to have or have even more of in your life. Start with something that’s easy. Maybe a little bit easier is, “I’d like to experience just a little bit more abundance in general, just a little bit more of everything.” Maybe, “I’d like to see happiness in me and everybody else. I’d like to see that people are kind,” or “I’d like to see that there’s a lot in life to be grateful for.” Make it emotional, not physical. That’s a great way to start. “I’d like to see even more love.”“I’d like to see even more happiness or compassion or patience.” Write that down on a piece of paper, keep it in your pocket, and then every once in a while read it and focus on it.

Set your attention on seeing it, focus on it. For example, if I wrote, “I choose to see as much kindness as possible.” That’s a strong way to do it. When you see it, pay attention to it. Note it. Pay attention to what that does and how it starts becoming easier to experience it. You’ll notice quickly sometimes how it can be that the world was always full of this thing, but now that you’ve made the conscious decision to focus on it, you can start changing your perception of reality and all of a sudden it feels like there is even more of that thing that you want in your life.

I hope you do take time to try this out. Send us a message, write us an email, let us know how this is going in your life. We would love to hear from you and get some feedback on what it’s like starting to use these tools. We cannot wait to jump into the next episode where we are going to be talking about why changing your reality sometimes can be so hard. Stay tuned for the next episode.

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I'm Sophie Kessner

First generation Mexican American mama that’s gone from hood to strategic hustle. I’ve spent the last 10+ years inside the personal development space supporting 100’s of coaches in scaling 6 figure businesses online & supported 4 different companies in surpassing the 7 figure mark. Today, I focus on making scaling more sustainable by integrating the lenses of business, systems, automation and CEO Development through an Equity centered and Trauma informed lens.

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